Dating Advice For Women

“Sometimes the guy you meet is Mr. Wrong right from the get go. It’s part of dating and something you have to go through to find your Mr. Right.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Advice

In one of my articles I mentioned that many women are too picky and that they don’t give (nice) guys a chance.

They make snap decisions and turn away guys who could be perfect for them.

That’s not to say that every guy you meet will be right for you.

There’s ONE special guy out there who hasn’t yet found you.

In the meantime, you’ll date a lot of nice – and not-so-nice – guys before you find your Mr. Right.

What Would Make You Turn Down A Second Date With A Guy?

Imagine this dating scenario….

You met this guy online.

He seems nice.

You both have things in common.

He makes you laugh.

He asks you out on a date.

And you say, “Yes!”

You meet at a restaurant.

You sit down.

And you start talking.

It’s back and forth, question after question.

And then, as you gather more information about this guy, you start to see patterns emerge that send up red flags.

Things like…

>> “Do you mind if I smoke?” (OMG. He smokes. Ewwww. He never told me that!)

>> “My divorce just got finalized. I’m so glad I’m free. I’ll never marry again.” (Huh? I thought you wanted a relationship?)

>> “I’m not close to my kids. I haven’t spoken to them in a few years.” (What’s wrong with you if even your kids don’t like you?)

>> “I’ll have another drink, please.” (I’m not counting but isn’t this his fifth drink?)

>> “Come on, have another drink with me.” (Looks like he needs a drinking buddy, not a partner.)

>> “I live with a roommate and we share expenses. I’ve been “between jobs” for a few years now.” (Translation: He’s unemployed. Maybe even unemployable. But sometimes, this isn’t a deal breaker – it just depends on the circumstances. He might be an entrepreneur who just sold his stake in a company for millions of dollars and he’s looking for the next idea to start a company.)

>> “I’ve been divorced two times. Marriage never seems to work out.” (Oh? Why is that?)

>> “How many one night stands have you had?” (I’m flabbergasted that you’re even asking me that question)

>> “I’ve had 100 first dates. Never seem to get past the first date with women.” (There has to be a reason, don’t you think?)

>> “I’ve never married. Actually I’m looking for someone who is in her 30’s. You seem a bit old to me.” (Then why did you ask me out?)

>> “I think I retired too early. Not much money left. But I sure enjoy being a beach bum.” (Good news! There are some wealthy beach bums out there. He’s just not one of them.)

>> “So you don’t think I look like my photos on my online dating profile? They were taken about 15 years ago.” (Does he look better now or then? And if he looks better now, why wouldn’t he post those photos? Perhaps he’s playing with you.)

>> “Yeah, I’ve put on a little (!) weight since the photos I showed on my profile.” (Liar. That’s a lot of weight.)

>> “Well, everybody exaggerates their height in online dating profiles. Heck, if I had told you I was only 5 feet 5 inches would you have gone out with me? (Maybe. Maybe not. Why not charm me with your personality and we’ll see where things go.)

>> “So how do you like my unshaven, scruffy look? I thought I’d show you my rugged side.” (Not very impressive when he doesn’t clean up for his date. But don’t be fooled. He could really be a millionaire who wants to find a woman who likes him for who he is, not for his money.)

>> “I have a few health issues I didn’t mention to you when we were chatting. Heart problems. Bit of a problem in the bedroom, too. Is that a deal breaker with you?” (What exactly are you trying to say here, buddy?”)

>> “I said in my dating profile that I was looking for a long term relationship. But I’m really happier with a Friends With Benefits arrangement.” (I’m out of here.)

>> “I have a confession. I’m really 65, not 55.” (Really?!? As if I couldn’t tell. Why did you lie?)

>> “I hang out with a lot of celebrities. You know…like (name of celebrity) and (name of celebrity).” (Am I supposed to be impressed?)

>> “I actually live in San Diego. Thought I’d widen the scope when looking for someone.” (Oh? San Diego’s a pretty big city. It must have some eligible women. Besides, I don’t want to drive for two hours for a date.)

Many of these are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.

And they indicate he’s not the type of guy you’re looking for.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Why He Disappeared | Attracting Mr. Right

Top 4 Deal Breakers

Obviously your deal breakers shouldn’t be frivolous. They have to be major things that affect a relationship.

These can include…

1. He Blames Others For His Misfortunes – Especially When It Comes To Dating And Relationships

This guy is pretty easy to spot.

Because he’ll soon unburden himself on you…looking for your sympathy.

He’s the type of guy who doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions…or the outcome of those actions.

Everyone else is to blame for what has happened to him.

His wife didn’t understand him.

His boss doesn’t understand him.

His kids don’t understand him.

2. He Doesn’t Show You He’s Interested In You And He Doesn’t Try To Please You

If he’s interested in you he should be trying to please you in some way.

Instead, it’s all about him.

There are lots of ways a man can show his interest in you without going overboard.

He might not send you a dozen roses with a love note every day but he’s considerate and tries to make you happy in other ways…

He chooses your favorite restaurant.

He does your laundry or mows your lawn while you’re at work.

He takes you to that chick flick you’ve been dying to see.

He cooks a surprise dinner for you when you’ve had a hard day at work.

3. He’s Into Himself, Not You

This type of guy is self centered…and selfish.

Everything is about him.

And he comes first.

He talks about himself and doesn’t get to know you.

You’d think he’d at least show some interest in you by asking you questions and learning more about who you are as a person.

That’s kind of important when it comes to being involved with someone.

4. He’s A Liar (Or A Game Player)

It’s the little lies that start the ball rolling.

The lie about his age.

The lie about his relationship status. (A definite deal breaker if he’s married.)

The lie about his weight…or height.

What else has he told you that isn’t true?

Or he likes to “test” you…to see how you react.

He tests your reaction to things he does or tells you.

It’s not a good way to start out any relationship.

And dating and relationships aren’t about “testing” the other person. It’s about having a connection.

There are going to be times when you make a hasty decision about a guy – and it’s going to be wrong. Because he’s a nice guy who will make someone a wonderful partner.

But there will be times when you just know in your heart of hearts that the guy sitting across for you just isn’t the type of guy you could see spending the rest of your life with.

Look for the signs that he shows you – either directly or indirectly.

And if he’s wrong for you, move on to the next guy.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.

It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Reuben4eva for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Pretty and Pink (c) Photo by reuben4eva on Freeimages.com

“One of the biggest issues you’ll have with dating after 40 is waiting around for that guy you met – or went on a date with – to call you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach

No doubt about it. It can be discouraging when you wait for a guy to call you…and he doesn’t.

It was bad enough when you were younger waiting around for that dreamy boy in school or college to phone you.

But when you’re dating after 40 (or older) it seems even worse.

And there’s a reason for that…

The pool of eligible men shrinks more and more as you mature.

So it’s harder to find a quality man to have a relationship with.

And it can be more than that.

You’re at a point in your life where you’re more mature and more established. You know what you want.

Trouble is, you want “it” now. And “it” is a great relationship with a wonderful man.

You don’t want to wait.

Which Of These Dating Situations Have You Experienced?

Of all the problems women have with dating after 40, it’s the “Why doesn’t he call?” question that I see the most often.

Why he doesn’t call can be part of why he disappeared after a date (and never called again, even though his parting words were, “I’ll call you.”)

Or it can be why he didn’t call when he said he would…but eventually phones you.

Or it could be why he didn’t call when you expect him to.

I’ve already discussed why he disappears after a date and you don’t hear from him again.

It could be something you said or did that turned him off.

Or it could be something about him that makes him decide not to pursue you or a relationship with you.

There can be legitimate reasons why he doesn’t call when he said he would – and they might not have anything to do with you at all.

His reason could be work related.

It could be family related. There may be a family emergency or an illness in the family.

You have to keep in mind that at the very beginning of a relationship or when you’ve just met a guy, you’re not usually his priority unless he doesn’t have much of a life.

In most cases, you’re a small part of his busy life at this point.

He has his work, his friends, his activities, and his family – all of which (unfortunately) take priority over you.

The “I’ll Call You” Scenario In Dating

Let’s say, for example, he said in a casual sort of way that he’d call and you haven’t heard from him.

Two days later…no call.

Five days later…no call.

A week later…you pick up the phone…and it’s him.

Or here’s another real life scenario…

You “meet” a great guy online.

You email each other.

You message each other.

You talk on the phone.

And you get into a routine to go online each night to either message each other or talk on Skype.

It’s usually a pre-established time but if you don’t happen to make arrangements beforehand you still go on and he’s there waiting for you.

Only something happens one evening…

And he’s not waiting for you.

In fact, you can see that he’s online but he hasn’t come on to say “hi” to you or to “talk” to you.

Do You Say Things Like This When You’re Discouraged With Dating?

What is going through your mind when you don’t hear from him?

Probably things like….

> I knew he was too good to be true.

> Nobody loves me.

> I’m being dumped again.

> I’m not attractive enough to have a man in my life.

> I did something wrong that screwed up a promising relationship.

> I feel like a failure.

> I feel all alone.

And then you get mad at him.

You feel he has disrespected you.

You feel that you’ve been rejected.

You now accept that there won’t be a relationship.

Or, if you’ve been dating him for a short while, that the relationship is over.

After all, you think, if he really cared about me he wouldn’t leave me hanging. He could have at least picked up the phone.

And you nurse your wounds by saying you don’t need a man in your life.

Is Something Really Wrong With The Relationship?

It’s very easy to get into this negative thinking when in fact, there might be nothing wrong at all – at least from his point of view.

He may genuinely be busy and doesn’t want to phone you until his schedule is clear so he can ask you out.

Or he may want to give you your space not knowing that you miss him and you want to see as much of him as you can.

This isn’t about making excuses for him. It’s about taking a different perspective on things.

Let me ask you this:

If you were busy in your life, with your work, friends, family, and activities, would it matter so much if he didn’t call you within a day or so?

Chances are it wouldn’t.

Because you’d be busy. Your mind would be occupied with other things.

You’d let this promising relationship progress naturally – the way it’s supposed to progress.

Too often we’re in a rush to escalate a relationship instead of taking our time.

If you don’t hear from him and he disappears from your life then he’s done you a favor because he’s not right for you.

He’s saved you wasting time on him. So now you can move onto the next man.

You’re disappointed, of course.

You might have even had your heart set on this man.

So you’re feeling heartbroken.

But be thankful you didn’t waste months or years on him if he’s not ready for a committed relationship.

If you didn’t have much invested in the relationship you’ll get over your hurt quickly and you’ll be able to move on.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Internet Dating Scams | Attracting Mr. Right

How A Smart Woman Reacts When A Guy Says He’ll Call And He Takes Longer Than Expected

Now…

…how do you react to his call when he does phone you (or in the online example, when he messages you)?

This really is the moment of truth.

This is where many women make a huge mistake.

And they kill any hope of a relationship.

By this time they’re all wound up and ready to lash back at him.

They’ve worked themselves into such a state of mind that they’re not thinking clearly.

All they want to do is lash back and make him feel bad about not phoning sooner.

So this is your opportunity to show him how you’re different from other women.

If you give him a hard time, he’ll either back off, distance himself, and eventually disappear.

Or, he’ll immediately be out of there.

You won’t hear from him again.

If you’re cold to him, he’s going to wonder what he did wrong.

And he’ll retreat.

He’s going to feel thankful that he found out about your true personality and how you treat him before things got more serious.

But if you’re cheerful and let him know you’re glad to hear from him, he’ll not only be surprised and pleased, he’ll immediately see that you’re not like other women he’s dated.

And that can be a good thing because it could lead to a wonderful, fulfilling relationship.

This is all about mindset and how you see things.

It’s about thinking positively instead of negatively.

What To Do When He Doesn’t Call

You now know what to do if he takes his time calling you.

So let’s recap what to do in the three situations I’ve described:

1. He disappears after you had an amazing date with him?

So what?

Sure it hurts.

Sure it makes you sad.

Sure it makes you mad.

But…it’s his loss, not yours.

There are other guys out there who are looking for a smart, attractive woman like you.

2. He doesn’t call when you says he’ll call?

So what?

Live your life.

Stay busy.

Don’t focus on one man.

If he calls then make him feel welcome instead of scolding him and making him feel bad.

3. He doesn’t call when you think he should.

So what?

He doesn’t know when he “should” call you based on your “rules.”

Throw away those “rules” if you have any.

Do things you enjoy.

Keep your mind focused on other things in your life, not just one man.

It all boils down to living your life…and what your expectations are.

Because reality is, he hasn’t made a commitment to you. He isn’t part of your life…yet.

Right now he’s nothing more than a prospective boyfriend or partner.

If you are in a relationship, talk to him. Let him know what would be nice, not what you demand from him.

If you keep that in mind you’ll shield your heart from hurt and live a happier life.

And you’ll increase your chances of ending up in a happy relationship with a great guy because you won’t have turned him off with an attitude that scares guys away.

Why you get discouraged with dating after 40 is because you haven’t yet found anyone and you’re not in a loving relationship. But there’s no reason to let that overshadow your search for a quality guy and ruin your chance to have a wonderful man in your life.

Don’t get hung up on the “I’ll call you” promise that guys make.

If they do call you that’s an opportunity to see if things can go further.

If they don’t call you, that’s okay. You have a life to live and other guys to pursue.

As long as you keep busy, don’t focus solely on one guy in the beginning, and don’t let negative thoughts creep in, you’ll be fine.

And you’ll attract men who want to be with you and who want to please you.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank tijmen van dobbenburgh for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Love you (c) tijmen van dobbenburgh Image #510909 freeimages.com Photo by tijmen on Freeimages.com

“You will encounter all types of men who seem perfect for you. Their actions will speak louder than their words.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach

Have you ever met a man where you thought, “You had me at ‘hello’” – where you thought he was interesting and maybe even perfect for you?

It’s not unusual to meet a guy who at first blush seems almost too perfect to be true.

He’s good looking. He’s charming. He’s fun to be with. He’s attentive. He says all the right things a girl wants to hear.

The Perfect Date

He takes you on a date.

He wines and dines you.

The setting is romantic.

You look into each other’s eyes and smile at each other.

There seems like an unspoken message that passes between the two of you.

You might even be impulsive and grab his hand and give it a squeeze to show you like him even though you only met a few hours ago.

The date eventually comes to an end.

You hug him.

You give him a little kiss.

As he is leaving he says, “I’ll call you.”

And you’re thrilled to hear him say those three words.

To you, they promise a future with a great guy.

You go home and dream about him.

You replay the date over and over again.

You fantasize about what your future would look like with him.

It’s like having a teenage crush on the boy at school.

The Waiting Game – It’s Part Of Dating

And now you wait to hear from this new man in your life.

A day passes.

“He must be busy,” you think.

You might even start cancelling plans you had with friends for fear of missing his phone call or not being available to see him.

Then two days go by.

“I wonder why I haven’t heard from him?” you say to yourself as that little panicky feeling starts to set in.

On the third day you begin to come to the realization that he might not phone you.

Finally a week has gone by.

No phone call.

No email.

No text messages.

Nothing.

With a sinking feeling you now realize you aren’t going to hear from him again.

And then you get discouraged…and sad.

And you start questioning yourself.

Here you thought you were attractive and fun to be with (which you are) and he had a good time with you and he doesn’t phone you even though he promised he would.

Are You Looking For Answers When He Doesn’t Call?

By this time you’re not replaying the date so much as you’re looking for answers why he didn’t phone you.

> Did you do something wrong that turned him off?

> Did he really like you or was he only pretending to like you?

> Why would he say he’d call if he had no intention to do so?

> Should you wait to hear from him before you look for someone else?

And you might be thinking things like…

> Why does this always happen to me?

> I’m going to give up on dating.

These are the things that probably go through your mind after going on a great date and being disappointed when the guy doesn’t phone you.

Why He Didn’t Call You

Let’s examine what happened and what you can do about it.

First, you will never know what really happened.

He might have had cold feet or not felt any chemistry.

He might have had second thoughts about wanting to date you or about even being in a relationship.

He might have been turned off by things you said or did.

He might have found someone else he was interested in.

He might have been married or in a relationship.

He might have had a situation – family or work – come up that meant he couldn’t phone you when he planned to. And then he got embarrassed that so much time had passed and was afraid to phone you. Because in his experience he’ll get a cold reception and be made to feel like a jerk for taking so long to phone.

Do you see how the possible explanations can go on and on?

He might have genuinely liked you and in the moment he promised to call you.

Or…which is just as likely, he said, “I’ll call you” as a way of parting so things wouldn’t be awkward.

It could be his way of saying he’s not interested without coming out and saying those exact words and hurting you.

After all, “I’ll call you” is totally different from “Are you free on Saturday night?” or “I’d like to see you again. When are you free?”

In fact, if a guy does say to you, “I’ll call you” take it with a grain of salt and start onto the next guy in your dating funnel. Because chances are he won’t phone. If he does, that’s great. If he doesn’t it’s no big deal.

Did You Do Something That Turned Him Off?

Maybe you did do or say something that turned him off.

Maybe you revealed too much information to him about your abusive ex or about your health or about your sex life or about your sad childhood or how you don’t speak to your siblings or to your grown up children.

Maybe you didn’t want to appear needy so you told him you’re independent and you don’t really need a man in your life.

Maybe you have four cats and he’s allergic to cats.

Maybe you didn’t dress appropriately and tried to squeeze into an outfit that wasn’t very flattering.

If you did turn him off somehow, you will never know…unless, of course, you already know that you said or did something that you wish you hadn’t (and you’re mentally kicking yourself for doing it).

What you need to realize is that when you first meet a guy, you shouldn’t – and definitely don’t – commit with all of your heart.

It’s not love at first sight.

You don’t know this guy.

Even if you’ve traded emails and phone calls and text messages for weeks before you meet, you still don’t know who he is.

And what’s happened is that you’ve invested your feelings in one guy who you don’t know anything about in real life.

Your first meetings and dates are where you find out if you like him.

This is the discovery period where you get to know him.

It’s not the time where you commit to him.

Remember, relationships take time – even if you have been emailing and chatting before you met.

You’re not in an instant relationship just because he’s no longer someone you talk to “online” and you’ve now met him in person.

How To Approach Dating

This is where men approach dating a little differently that women.

Men go on a date thinking, “Let’s see if she’s nice and whether I like her.”

Women go on a date thinking, “I wonder if he’s The One.”

Do you see how very different those two ways of thinking are?

Men can shrug off disappointment easier with their expectation. Women, on the other hand, set themselves up for hurt – especially when they pin all of their hopes and dreams on one guy.

In the meantime, you’ve been putting off meeting other guys.

And, instead, you’ve been caught up in self doubt and hurt because this one date that you pinned everything on didn’t work out.

Avoid Doing This When Dating

What do you do to avoid this in the future?

First, you change your expectations.

Your expectations should be to get to know the guy to see if he’s boyfriend material.

Secondly, you avoid concentrating all of your efforts on one guy.

Have a couple of other guys in the background and get to know them too.

Don’t pin all of your hopes on one guy only to discover he’s not the one for you.

Yes, he looked promising.

But in reality you knew nothing about the guy in real life.

And it doesn’t matter what he’s told you in emails or phone calls, you really don’t know this man until you’re with him and you talk to him and you spend time with him and get to know him.

I realize how hard this is for many women. (It happens to guys too.)

It’s especially difficult if there aren’t a lot of good prospects out there.

If you “met” online, then chances are you revealed things to him that you haven’t told other people.

You might be a little embarrassed about what you said to him.

You might have even flirted a little with him and said racy things and gotten a little carried away.

How To Shield Yourself From Dating Disappointment

There’s only one way to shield yourself from major disappointment and hurt.

And that’s to not concentrate on just one guy.

As the saying goes, have more than one iron in the fire.

That’s not cheating or being unfaithful.

You’re not in an exclusive relationship with this guy.

He hasn’t committed to you and you haven’t committed to him.

If one guy doesn’t work out, so what?

You explore things with the next guy.

And the next.

Until you find the guy who’s right for you.

Be smart about dating.

Be brave.

Stay strong.

And stay the course.

Because you will find your Mr. Right.

Click here to increase your chances of finding YOUR Mr. Right or Soulmate.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Kirkman for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: White roses photo by kirkman on freeimages.com

“A date isn’t an interview or a confessional. You’re being judged on the things you say and do during a date. Leave a first good impression and your chances for a second date are much higher.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach

When it comes to dating advice for women, one of the first questions many women ask is what questions should I ask?

It’s a great question because when you’re getting to know someone who you’re interested in for a relationship it’s common to ask questions.

This is especially true with online dating where it’s easier to ask questions and not feel that you’re pressing too hard to get to the answers that are important to you.

But it can be a trap if you’re not careful. The questions you ask and the answers you give can turn a guy off.

Keep in mind that when you meet someone – online or offline – and you want to know something about them you don’t want to make it look like it’s an interview.

So you don’t ask things like, “What are your goals?” Or, “Where do you see yourself in 5 year’s time?” Or, “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”

Those aren’t the types of questions you ask – although some of that information may come about through casual conversation.

For example, he tells you what he does for a living. And then he says that in five year’s time he expects to be promoted to a higher position or move on to another job.

Instead of these “interview” type of questions, ask another type of question.

These are what I call initial “qualifiers” to see if it’s worthwhile moving forward with the guy you’re interested in.

Common questions from women – whether you’re on a date or you’re on an online dating site – can include the following:

1. Have You Ever Been Married?

These days “single” can mean never been married or divorced and no more ex in his life.

With online dating you’ll usually find a section about marital status.

Some guys have been married and divorced. Some men are widowers. Some are separated from their wife.

Others are married and looking for an affair or a no strings attached arrangement.

And others have never been married. They may be confirmed bachelors, they may be players, they may be smooth talkers, or they may not have found the woman they’re searching for.

2. Are You Seeing Anyone Right Now? [or] Do You Believe In Monogamy?

This question is sometimes disguised to mean whether he’s sleeping with anyone or whether he has a relationship with someone that he hasn’t disclosed.

This is a particularly important question since most people want to have an exclusive relationship.

With sexual disease prevalent, it’s not unusual to expect exclusivity in a relationship – especially if you’re intimate with a man.

If you ask, “Do you believe in monogamy?” it could reveal whether he’s sleeping with other women or wants to date a number of women instead of just one exclusively.

3. What Do You Do For A Living?

It’s common to ask this question. In fact, it’s probably one of the most frequently asked questions. The man you have your eye on may be a professional. He may be unemployed. He may be “between jobs.” He may be an entrepreneur. Or he may be underemployed or unemployable because of his age or for health reasons.

It will be up to you to decide which is acceptable to you. Some women don’t mind helping their man financially. Others have done it all their lives and are now looking for more security from a man who has a good job.

These days with housing and living costs so high, it’s nice to know that the man you’re dating has either a good job or has some financial resources to fall back on if the relationship progresses and especially if you decide to get married.

4. Tell Me About Your Family – Your Parent, Your Siblings, Your Children

We all like to know something about the other person’s family. After all, if things were to progress, you would eventually meet his family.

It’s also nice to know something about his relationship with his family. For example, is he close to his parents and his children.

If he’s an older man, it’s likely that his children are grown up and on their own. And sometimes that can be important in a budding relationship.

Some people like children but don’t want to raise any more children. So that could be a deal breaker for them when considering dating a man.

5. What Do You Like To Do For Fun?

This question will give you an idea about whether the guy you’re interested in is a fun guy. Whether he likes to travel. And whether the two of you have common interests.

It’s also interesting to know something about his passions, interests, hobbies, and how he spends his free time because it can open up new opportunities for things to do together.

Of course, if he’s into hang gliding or rock climbing or base jumping or bungy jumping or skydiving, he might be a little too adventurous for you.

Even worse, he might encourage you to take up extreme sports when you’re deathly afraid of them and prefer to have your feet firmly planted on the ground.

6. How Long Have You Lived In Your Town or City?

People move. And sometimes you’ll find a common town or city where you have both lived. Or you may have mutual friends from the same town or city.

It’s always easier to relate to someone if you have something in common or a shared experience.

7. Do You Drink, Smoke, Gamble, Or Use Non-Prescription and Prescription Drugs?

In other words, what sins do you like?

You don’t have to ask this question outright. For example, you could ask, “Have you ever been to Vegas?” or “Have you tried (name a casino)?”

In most cases, you’ll get some idea about a person’s “sins” on the first date or two. For example, he may order a lot of drinks if you’re at a restaurant. Or he might reveal his favorite pastime is getting together with the guys and drinking. Or he may excuse himself to go outside for a quick smoke.

Most online dating sites have a section for this so you can see what a man’s habits are.

And if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t smoke or do drugs and is a light drinker then it’s important that you know right from the beginning so you can qualify or disqualify him as a potential romantic candidate.

Drugs can be a major issue – and a deal breaker – for many people.

Even prescription drugs can be a red flag since they can affect a person’s behavior and even their sexual performance.

8. What Are You Looking For In A Partner?

This is a great question to ask any man you’re interested in because it gives you an idea what his expectations are.

He might, for example, be looking for casual dating. Or a one-night stand. Or a friend with benefits.

He may be looking for a companion for social outings and travel. He might be looking for someone to talk to and do things with as an activity partner.

Or he might be looking for love and a long term relationship with the possibility of marriage if things work out.

Some guys might also tell you they’re not interested in raising any more children – especially if their own children are grown up. So, if you’re a single parent with young children, he probably isn’t a candidate for a relationship.

If he asks you the same question, it’s best to be candid about what you’re really looking for so as not to lead him on.

But you have to be careful how you answer. For example, if you say you’re looking for a husband it will very likely scare him off.

It’s best to keep it general in the beginning. Instead, you might say you’re looking for someone to enjoy fun times with and see if a relationship develops.

Of course, if you’re only looking for intimacy then it’s best to disclose that right at the beginning and say you’re looking for a lover or for a no strings attached arrangement.

If you’re only looking for a friend or companion then he may not be a good choice if he’s looking for a lover or a future wife.

Avoid the type of answer like “an honest man” or “a guy who isn’t a loser” or “a nice guy.” These types of answers can signal bitterness from previous bad experiences with men and can reflect poorly on you.

When asking questions you don’t want to appear as though you’re prying or trying to complete a man-catching checklist.

You want to keep things casual and light.

The trouble is that when you’re considering dating a guy, you want to know that your time is well invested and you don’t want any surprises that could be deal breakers.

On the other hand, you don’t want to turn the guy off with your probing questions.

Of course, the tables can be turned on you as the man asks you questions.

Questions like:

1. What Happened In Your Marriage?

This is a question that could still cause you pain or anger if you’re recently divorced and starting all over after many years of what you thought was a happy marriage until your ex-husband ran off with a younger woman.

And it’s up to you whether you want to go into the details. If your ex husband was a cheater or had an affair or multiple affairs it’s entirely appropriate to mention that. Or you can simply say you and your ex-husband grew apart or you fell out of love and only stayed together until the children were grown up.

2. How Old Are You?

Many online dating sites ask you to indicate your age. Most people are reasonably honest about this question.

Some women are embarrassed to think that they’re looking for a relationship in their later years when their dream was to be married all their lives to one man.

It used to be that a man would never ask a woman’s age.

But times have changed.

It’s your choice whether to tell him specifically how old you are.

If the relationship progresses he’ll want to at least know when your birthday is. Or he might allude to how old you are by making remarks about specific events in history – for example, when the Beatles came to America.

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3. How Many Relationships Have You Had In The Past?

This is a cute way of asking how many men you’ve slept with.

It might even give him an idea of your experience as a sexual partner.

It’s not a question you need to answer or divulge.

It’s your personal business.

4. What Would You Do If You Found Out You Were Pregnant?

This is an oblique way of asking whether you’re sexually active and whether you use birth control.

It’s a question that eventually has to be answered if you’re intimate with the man you’re dating.

But as an initial question from someone you don’t know very well it’s up to you whether you answer it.

5. Do You Enjoy Sex?

For a lot of women sex questions are a turn off until they get to know a guy and think there is a connection.

Be prepared for this question from guys. Because, let’s face it, most guys are interested in sex in a relationship.

But use your common sense, too. It’s not a topic that should be encouraged in the beginning. If the question is asked in the first email or two – and you don’t know each other very well – then it’s inappropriate.

You should get to know each other first before delving into the “sex” questions which will include things like preferences, forbidden practices, birth control, condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and being tested.

6. How Would Your Friends Describe You or What Would They Say About You?

It’s another great question. Generally you want to be able to bring out your good points about your personality and qualities.

It’s a tricky question because he might be looking for the negative qualities you have – you might get angry quickly or you might be a critical person. Or you might be jealous or you might be needy or desperate.

These qualities are guy turnoffs. And, in a guy, they’re very likely turnoffs for you too.

Obviously you want to put your best foot forward when answering questions from a prospective relationship candidate.

You want to keep things upbeat and positive. You don’t want your potential lover to wince and duck his head at the thought of being savagely mauled by your overprotective Chihuahua or the thought of the front door being smashed open by a jealous ex husband or boyfriend as your new lover has you in his arms making mad passionate love to you.

The thing to keep in mind with asking questions is that the answers to many of them will come as you get to know the man you’re interested in.

And be prepared for the answers you ask be asked of you.

Find The Man of Your Dreams Who Makes You Happy

Just as there are questions to avoid asking, there are also topics to avoid talking about.

In the Girl Gets Great Guy System – which is dating advice for women who want to find the man of their dreams – I not only show you how to ask questions without it seeming like he’s applying for a “position” in a job, I also cover 15 different topics to avoid discussing on the first date because they can change the mood and instantly turn guys off.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love. It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

“Treat a new relationship gently – it could develop into a commitment that lasts a lifetime.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

You meet a guy and you’re really into him…and he’s really into you.

It looks promising.

He’s everything you ever wanted in a guy.

He’s fun.

He’s romantic.

He’s handsome.

He’s smart.

He’s a manly man.

And even though you’re in the infatuation stage where he can do no wrong, you think he might be The One.

But there are ways to spoil a budding relationship that showed so much promise.

And it’s a pity because a beginning relationship can be spoiled so quickly if it’s not nurtured properly.

Here are the top two ways to ruin what could be a promising relationship:

1. Playing Games

Playing games with a guy can be a huge turnoff.

And it’s one of the quickest ways to lose a guy.

Guys like to chase a woman.

They’re wired for it.

And the guy who is chasing you should be working to win your heart if he’s interested in you.

But don’t play games with him.

That’s more likely to annoy him than encourage him.

Instead, encourage him to date you and court you.

Return his calls or text messages quickly.

Don’t frustrate him and leave him hanging when he shows a willingness to be with you.

Don’t keep him guessing whether you’re interested in him.

You don’t have to profess your undying love to him or use the “L” word.

But you should show him you’re interested in him and you’re open to seeing him and spending time with him.

Don’t blow him off when he asks you for a date.

If you can’t make the day or evening that he suggests, suggest another time. Don’t let him get away with a “I’ll phone you another time to set something up” because he might not phone you again.

Let him know you’re disappointed you can’t make the original date and be sure to make firm plans for a new time that is good for both of you.

And don’t cancel on him again – unless it really is a true emergency.

Show your interest in him.

Be fun to be with.

Make him feel excited to be with you so he will want to continue seeing you.

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2. Having Sex With Him Too Soon

Let’s face it…it’s no surprise that he wants to sleep with you.

That’s nature’s way.

It doesn’t make him a pervert to have those feelings because it’s a natural thing between two people who are in love.

But having sex too soon can spoil everything.

I know what you’re thinking…

He’s hot.

He’s handsome.

He’s got a gorgeous body.

He has a great smile.

He makes you feel wonderful.

And you’re feeling frisky.

Your hormones are working overtime especially when you’re around him.

You just want to rip his clothes off and get rid of all of that sexual tension that is building up inside of you.

Big mistake!

It’s nature’s (unintentional) trap.

And, if you’re not careful and if you’re not strong, you’re going to fall right into it and perhaps even regret it down the road.

It’s especially difficult if you haven’t been in a relationship for quite a while.

Along comes your perfect man and you want to show him how much you appreciate him and love him.

I get how you’re feeling.

But here’s my suggestion:

If you want the relationship to develop, let it progress naturally.

It’s okay to keep him interested with kissing and touching but that’s the limit until you are ready.

Don’t have sex (including oral sex) until you’re in a committed relationship where you are exclusive to him.

And that means he makes that commitment to you.

You’re not asking him to marry you.

Instead, you’re asking him to commit to being exclusive with you.

That’s the defining point in the relationship to see if it will progress to something more.

You don’t want him sleeping around.

You definitely don’t want to be another notch in his bedpost.

And you don’t want him to satisfy his curiosity about you sexually and then move on to another woman.

You want to be his one and only.

When you give yourself to him you want to feel – and know – that he’s yours and you’re his top priority.

Keep in mind that giving yourself to him doesn’t mean he’ll automatically bond with you or be closer to you and want to be in an exclusive relationship.

Bonding with you is much more likely to happen when he’s in an exclusive relationship with you.

And, it should go without saying that you should be taking normal precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

That means testing for STDs and seeing the results, not just taking his word for it.

In fact, it’s wise to discuss these topics before you are intimate with him.

Not only is that being smart about sex it’s also about protecting yourself.

After all, you don’t know where the relationship will go.

Everything looks wonderful now.

But things do change and there’s no guarantee you’ll be together forever.

And you don’t want to be left to raise a beautiful child by yourself or left with an incurable sexual disease.

Both of those things could affect both your future and a future relationship if you were to break up.

Every new relationship takes time to develop and mature.

And some things – especially sex – shouldn’t be rushed. Because the things you do early on in a new relationship can either spoil a good thing or help it to mature into something wonderful and long term.

Avoid making him jump through hoops to date you. And don’t have sex with him until he’s made a commitment to you and you’re in an exclusive relationship.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who finds herself in any of the following circumstances:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank photographer – kirsche222 – for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Candy hearts photo by kirsche222 on free images

“Qualify your guy.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

Many women find that they are in a committed relationship for years and then they break up.

They wonder what they did wrong when it looked so promising at the beginning of the relationship.

One reason for the eventual breakup is that you might be dating the wrong guy(s) because….

…you’re not qualifying them.

That is the one thing you can do that can save you not only wasted years of being in an unfulfilling relationship but also heartache.

Sometimes you’re overlooking important things that you want from a relationship because you’re attracted to the guy and he makes you happy.

You might have known that you weren’t completely compatible right from the start but ignored it or thought that he’d “change” after he was with you.

That’s a perfectly natural thing to do.

When I talk about “wrong” guys that doesn’t necessarily mean they were “wrong” in the beginning.

Sometimes things change and you have no control over them.

What your guy wanted when he first met you changes over time as the relationship progresses and matures.

Here’s an example:

You meet a great guy. There’s chemistry. There’s romance.

You talk about what you both want from a relationship and you’re both in agreement.

Then, over time, he changes his mind.

Perhaps at first, for example, he wanted children like you did. But as time goes on he decides he doesn’t want children.

But you still do.

In that situation, if you really do want children then you’re no longer compatible.

Do you know what good salespeople do when they talk to a prospect or customer?

They qualify them.

They ask questions to see whether their prospects and customers would be suitable candidates for what they’re selling.

Or they find out what their prospect or customer wants so they can deliver the goods to them.

If you’ve ever bought real estate or you’ve watched shows on TV like Property Brothers you’ll know what I mean.

In Property Brothers, Drew, the real estate expert, finds out what prospective buyers are looking for and then goes out and looks for fixer upper properties that can be upgraded to have many or all of the features the prospective buyers want. Of course, he also knows what the buyers’ budget is so he can scout for suitable properties.

Traditional realtors do the same thing only they usually look for properties that already have most of the features the buyers want.

This technique – qualifying buyers – isn’t just limited to realtors.

Professional salespeople qualify their buyers all the time and a true professional will make it sound conversational instead of peppering his or her prospect or customer with question after question.

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Your List of Relationship Non-Negotiables

Qualifying a guy means you should have a list of your non-negotiables.

Non-negotiables are those things you MUST have in a relationship.

They are what I call your “Must Haves.”

Keep that list to no more than 5 of the most important things you want out of a relationship.

Order them in importance if you want to – from most important to least important.

Remember, the longer the list of non-negotiables the harder it will be to find the guy who can satisfy ALL of your requirements.

And don’t be tied down to that list of non-negotiables.

If the man you meet has most of the things that you want in a relationship, you might be perfectly happy with that especially if your must haves are listed in importance.

Your list of non-negotiables can include such things as: a man who wants children, a man who is kind, a man who is romantic, a man who is funny, a man with similar beliefs or values, and a man who is generous.

These non-negotiables are what qualifies a guy as boyfriend material or husband potential.

How To Qualify Your Man

How do you find out if he “qualifies?”

You ask him questions and get his thoughts on things that are important to you.

I’m not suggesting you do this on the first date or two.

But in time you and your man will talk about things that are important to you both.

You might discuss having children.

You might discuss where you want to live.

You might discuss career plans.

You might discuss owning a home.

You might discuss wanting to travel.

You might discuss your dreams and hopes and plans for the future.

Also keep in mind that your relationship should be progressing towards what you want – whether it’s exclusivity or marriage.

If the guy you’re with doesn’t want children (and you do) or he doesn’t want to date exclusively (and you do) or he doesn’t want to get married (and you do) then you’re not compatible and you’re wasting your time with him.

And you have to decide whether you should stay together or break up so that you can each find someone who is more compatible.

Even when you qualify a guy, there’s no certainty that things will work out.

People’s circumstances do change and sometimes it’s beyond their control.

But at least you know there’s a better chance of compatibility and a future together if you know early on in the relationship that you both want the same thing.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Lynn Cummings for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Have A Heart 2 (c) Lynn Cummings on Freeimages.com

“Your attitude can make or break a promising relationship. In this dating advice for women article I explain your choices if a man doesn’t phone you shortly after going on a great date with you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

There are several reasons why a man doesn’t phone you after having a great first or second date with you.

If he does call a week or more after a great date then how you respond to him will determine whether there is potential for a relationship or not.

I’m going to give you ideas on how to react so you don’t blow your chances of missing out on a great guy.

When you meet a great guy and you’ve had a great first (or second) date you get your hopes up.

He seems to have many of the qualities you’re looking for in a guy. He’s attractive. He’s funny and personable. He’s interesting.

You think there’s a chance of a relationship and he might even be The One.

You’re willing to make him a priority and put most of your other activities on hold to get to know him better to see if things will develop.

Trouble is, you don’t know what he’s thinking. He may still be processing the date and trying to decide whether he wants to pursue things with you.

He might want to pursue things with you but his job (or other activity) takes precedence and time gets away from him.

And even if you think he could have picked up the phone or texted you or emailed you, some guys just don’t think that way. They put things off and before you know it a week or more has gone by.

You have to remember that with the first few dates – and until you’re in an exclusive relationship with him – you are NOT his number one priority unless he has virtually no life to speak of…or unless he is totally head-over-heels in love with you and completely infatuated with you (in which case he’d be contacting you a lot).

The first few weeks and even months are the “getting to know you” stage. Things are casual. And until things become more serious, you should assume he’s dating other women.

In the meantime, he has work. He has his friends. He has his activities and hobbies. He might even have a pet like a dog that comes before you (I’m sorry to say that, but that’s reality, because to some guys their dog is their best buddy and gets tons of attention.)

So you have to accept that you’re not a priority in his life (at least not right now) – you’re still someone he’s getting to know.

Admittedly, if he contacts you a week or two after a date, he’s either not showing much interest or he’s not very considerate or he’s inexperienced in dating.

But it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not attracted to you and doesn’t want to get to know you better.

Why He May Not Have Contacted You

It can be really confusing and frustrating can’t it? You go on a great date with a guy. You think there’s potential for something more and then you don’t hear from him. Or he promises to phone and then you don’t hear from him.

And a week or so later he resurfaces. It’s the classic “submarine syndrome” used by some guys.

There are at least six possible reasons why he hasn’t contacted you after a great date. Your difficulty is trying to determine what the REAL reason is.

1. He’s a lazy dater and wants you to contact him. This is a red flag. Don’t chase him. He’s the man and he should be chasing you. He could be egotistical and think he’s God’s gift to women and women should chase him. Or he could be lazy and doesn’t want to do the work that’s required to get to know you. Or he could be shy and be nervous about contacting you.

You have to decide which of these options applies to him. You should be able to tell that from your interaction with him on the date. How did he act? Was he outgoing? Did he drop hints that he went on lots of dates or lots of women were interested in him? Did he seem hesitant and shy? Or did he seem nonchalant or laid back to the point where he had a take it or leave it attitude and didn’t seem that interested unless you did all of the work?

2. He didn’t feel chemistry or a spark on the date and decides not to pursue you. (There’s nothing you can do in this situation and it’s best to move on.)

Sometimes a guy will say that he had a great time with you but in truth he didn’t feel any connection and while he thought you were nice he really doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you.

If there’s chemistry and a spark initially chances are he’s going to be into you. He’s going to be flirting and having fun and making sure you have fun. And, if he’s on the ball, he’s going to tell you he’s interested in you and he’d like to see you again.

3. You said or did something that turned him off. (Again, there’s nothing you can do so you might as well look for another guy)

You probably won’t know if you did this or what you did to turn him off, but if you’re not getting a lot of second or third dates that could be a clue you’re doing something wrong.

4. There is a legitimate reason why he hasn’t called.

An emergency or crazy work schedule or time conflict fall into this category.

Although rare, sometimes there are legitimate reasons why a guy hasn’t called. Be open to the idea that this might be one of those times.

Keep this in mind: A great date – and a promising relationship – can turn into a disaster depending on how you respond to him if he does contact you a week or two after the date.

5. You’re not right for him.

Sometimes you can have a great first or second date with a guy but things fizzle out. This happens because after the date he’s thinking about things. He’s future projecting a bit. He’s trying to figure out what it would be like to have you in his life.

Maybe you’re sociable and he’s not. Maybe you like to hang with friends and family and he doesn’t. Maybe you like adventure and you like to travel and he doesn’t.

He thinks of these things and they determine whether he thinks a relationship with you is worth pursuing. If, for some reason, he doesn’t feel you’re compatible with each other he’s not going to contact you.

Keep in mind that a guy doesn’t like drama. It’s easier to fade away quietly than to come right out and say that he doesn’t think things will work out.

6. The timing is wrong.

You go on a few great dates with him and you get to know him. During those dates you discover things about each other.

It might have to do with future plans. It might have to do with where you both are in your life or careers. You might be planning on a major life change. Or he might have plans to travel or go to college or university or move to another town.

The potential for a relationship might be there but the circumstances just don’t work out. You’re at different stages in your lives and your lives wouldn’t mesh into a long term relationship.

7. He’s uncertain whether he should pursue you.

He might be shy. He might be inexperienced. He might not know if you gave him the “green light” to pursue you. He doesn’t know what you’re thinking and whether you like him.

Perhaps you didn’t give him signals that indicated you’re interested in him. Or he didn’t pick up on the signals you gave him.

So he’s confused. He has to sort things out in his own mind and decide whether he wants to get to know you better.

After all, he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself and be shot down if you rebuff him or ignore him.

This is a legitimate reason to give him another chance.

3 Choices You Face If He Takes His Time To Phone You

You have three main choices if a man you’ve just dated doesn’t phone you within a day or two after a great date:

1. You can give him a piece of your mind, show him how angry you are, and blow him off. (Definitely a mood killer and a great way to ruin any chance of a relationship)

This is usually the reaction most women will have. They had their hopes pinned on this guy and he dashes those hopes away in an instant by appearing disinterested and taking his time to call again.

Maybe he’s playing it cool and doesn’t want to appear too eager.

Maybe he’s inexperienced with dating.

Or maybe he’s not that into you.

Getting your hopes up too much and too early is especially true with online dating – you develop a rapport with a guy, seem to be getting along well, message each other frequently so that it becomes an established routine, and then he disappears for a few days or his communication with you becomes intermittent.

You begin to wonder what’s up…and you get angry with him for “standing you up.”

2. You can ignore his call and not return his calls. (It’s a surefire way to get over him and move onto the next guy if you’re absolutely certain you don’t want to get to know him better.)

This usually signifies that you’re angry at the guy and don’t want anything more to do with him.

If that’s the case, it’s time to move on and look for another guy.

3. You can cut him some slack and pursue things with him to see where they lead. (Best choice if you’re interested in him.)

Sometimes it turns out that it’s worth giving a guy a second chance. Keep in mind that there may be a very valid reason why he took so long to get back to you – it could be work related. Or he could have been sick, or his children could have been sick.

How would you feel, for example, if you got angry with him and gave him a piece of your mind when in fact his father was gravely ill and he had to make an emergency trip to see his father?

Or what if he’s a medical student who’s on call at all hours of the day and night and when he’s free you’re not?

You have to show understanding about his circumstances. It’s not about making excuses for him, it’s about taking a step back and seeing things through his eyes.

Until you know the facts, don’t assume that he isn’t interested. Sure, maybe he is a lazy dater. If that’s the case then at some point you’ll have to politely tell him how you like to be treated…or look for another guy.

But don’t write him off completely – at least not yet – if you’re interested in him.

If the guy is a decent guy, you’re attracted to him, and it’s worth pursuing to see if he has signs he has boyfriend potential then when he phones be sweet and keep things light and fun.

What Most Guys Expect

Most guys expect that they will be chastised if they don’t phone soon after a date. If he does phone you and you cut him some slack and show him you welcome the opportunity to get to know him better you will stand out from the majority of other women.

If you chastise him, get angry with him, argue with him, try and teach him manners, or make him feel bad for taking so long to contact you after the date, then you won’t get a second chance with him.

If you are cold towards him and start playing games or you are not understanding, then you’ve lost him. He definitely won’t pursue you.

Of course, he might be the type of guy who has you “in reserve.” In this situation, he dates other women to see if there is a connection with them.

You’re his “alternate choice” if things don’t work out with another woman. While this might not be very flattering to you, it may turn out to be to your benefit in the long run if he chooses you over other women. After all, we all choose one person over another when we decide to be in an exclusive relationship. And at this point, he’s not in a committed relationship with you so he’s free to date other women, just as you’re free to date other men.

Next time a great guy doesn’t phone you a day or two after a wonderful date and leaves you cooling your heels for a while, consider whether you want to get to know him or not.

If you do, keep it light and upbeat when he phones and see if a relationship develops. (But the next time you meet, let him know in a nice way how you prefer to be treated in the future without him thinking you’ve been sitting by the phone waiting for him to call – which is a no-no.)

The key is not to jump to conclusions until you know the facts because sometimes your assumptions can be incorrect.

If he doesn’t phone you then move on unless you decide to take the initiative to contact him…and find out once and for all whether he’s interested in spending time with you. (Be prepared for him to tell you he’s not interested. And if you do phone him and you get a cool (as in disinterested) “Oh, hi” from him, chances are he’s not that into you.)

In fact, there’s nothing wrong in taking the initiative. It’s not “chasing” him like many people think. It’s showing interest and then letting him take the lead and show you how he feels about you.

If he’s not interested in you, it’s okay to be disappointed. But it’s not the end of the world. In fact, he’s done you a favor – you can now concentrate on finding your Mr. Right – someone who will move Heaven and Earth to be with you and show you he adores you.

Chances are, if he hasn’t phoned or texted you within a day or two after going on a great first or second date, he’s not into you as much as you’re into him.

After all, a guy who is interested in you will go to great lengths and crawl a mile over broken glass to see you again – unless there’s a valid reason he couldn’t text or call.

You see, when a guy is interested in you he’s going to romance you and woo you.

He’s going to be hot for you.

Because he’s attracted to you.

If he doesn’t text, call, or romance you, then he’s probably not the guy for you because there are a lot of men out there who are single and available who still romance women and show their interest in her.

He has to show his interest, even if it’s with just a text.

It shouldn’t be just one text, either.

It should be continued contact to show that he wants to be on your mind all the time.

A guy who wants to be romantically involved with you will usually do romantic things.

He might write poems.

Or he might send you romantic texts.

Or he might flirt with you.

Or he might buy you flowers.

He might take you on a romantic date.

These are all signs a man is interested in you.

If you’re getting a different vibe – and he’s only interested in a one night stand or a booty call – then he’s a pass.

He’s not interested in a relationship with you. And you won’t change his mind by sleeping with him.

That’s when you need to try something different and attract a man who’s looking for a wonderful woman like you and wants to be in a long term relationship.

There’s no point in hanging around waiting for love to happen, sitting by the phone waiting for a guy to call, and passing up opportunities with other men, wishing and hoping this one guy you went on a great date with – who hasn’t shown enough interest in you – will come around, change his mind, and want to be in a relationship with you.

If you’re ready for love and you want a great man in your life, you have to take the initiative and look for a man who will love, cherish, appreciate and adore you.

This isn’t about “rules.”

Instead, it’s about having the tools to help you find and catch the man of your dreams.

If you want to “up your dating game” then there’s a wonderful way to do that with this special system that cracks the “Guy Code” and shows you how to meet new, single and available men.

It shows you how to find a boyfriend and get a boyfriend – but not just any boyfriend. After all, it’s not hard to get a boyfriend.

Instead, you’re looking for the right man, the man who wants to be in a long term relationship and who will commit to you.

You’ll discover…

>> The best places to find HOT men

>> Key questions to ask any man you’re chatting with online so you don’t waste your time

>> Top internet dating scams to avoid

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