You meet a guy and you’re really into him…and he’s really into you.
It looks promising.
He’s everything you ever wanted in a guy.
He’s a manly man.
And even though you’re in the infatuation stage where he can do no wrong, you think he might be The One.
But there are ways to spoil a budding relationship that showed so much promise.
And it’s a pity because a beginning relationship can be spoiled so quickly if it’s not nurtured properly.
Here are the top two ways to ruin what could be a promising relationship:
1. Playing Games
Playing games with a guy can be a huge turnoff.
And it’s one of the quickest ways to lose a guy.
Guys like to chase a woman.
They’re wired for it.
And the guy who is chasing you should be working to win your heart if he’s interested in you.
But don’t play games with him.
That’s more likely to annoy him than encourage him.
Instead, encourage him to date you and court you.
Return his calls or text messages quickly.
Don’t frustrate him and leave him hanging when he shows a willingness to be with you.
Don’t keep him guessing whether you’re interested in him.
You don’t have to profess your undying love to him or use the “L” word.
But you should show him you’re interested in him and you’re open to seeing him and spending time with him.
Don’t blow him off when he asks you for a date.
If you can’t make the day or evening that he suggests, suggest another time. Don’t let him get away with a “I’ll phone you another time to set something up” because he might not phone you again.
Let him know you’re disappointed you can’t make the original date and be sure to make firm plans for a new time that is good for both of you.
And don’t cancel on him again – unless it really is a true emergency.
Show your interest in him.
Be fun to be with.
Make him feel excited to be with you so he will want to continue seeing you.
2. Having Sex With Him Too Soon
Let’s face it…it’s no surprise that he wants to sleep with you.
That’s nature’s way.
It doesn’t make him a pervert to have those feelings because it’s a natural thing between two people who are in love.
But having sex too soon can spoil everything.
I know what you’re thinking…
He’s got a gorgeous body.
He has a great smile.
He makes you feel wonderful.
And you’re feeling frisky.
Your hormones are working overtime especially when you’re around him.
You just want to rip his clothes off and get rid of all of that sexual tension that is building up inside of you.
It’s nature’s (unintentional) trap.
And, if you’re not careful and if you’re not strong, you’re going to fall right into it and perhaps even regret it down the road.
It’s especially difficult if you haven’t been in a relationship for quite a while.
Along comes your perfect man and you want to show him how much you appreciate him and love him.
I get how you’re feeling.
But here’s my suggestion:
If you want the relationship to develop, let it progress naturally.
It’s okay to keep him interested with kissing and touching but that’s the limit until you are ready.
Don’t have sex (including oral sex) until you’re in a committed relationship where you are exclusive to him.
And that means he makes that commitment to you.
You’re not asking him to marry you.
Instead, you’re asking him to commit to being exclusive with you.
That’s the defining point in the relationship to see if it will progress to something more.
You don’t want him sleeping around.
You definitely don’t want to be another notch in his bedpost.
And you don’t want him to satisfy his curiosity about you sexually and then move on to another woman.
You want to be his one and only.
When you give yourself to him you want to feel – and know – that he’s yours and you’re his top priority.
Keep in mind that giving yourself to him doesn’t mean he’ll automatically bond with you or be closer to you and want to be in an exclusive relationship.
Bonding with you is much more likely to happen when he’s in an exclusive relationship with you.
And, it should go without saying that you should be taking normal precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
That means testing for STDs and seeing the results, not just taking his word for it.
In fact, it’s wise to discuss these topics before you are intimate with him.
Not only is that being smart about sex it’s also about protecting yourself.
After all, you don’t know where the relationship will go.
Everything looks wonderful now.
But things do change and there’s no guarantee you’ll be together forever.
And you don’t want to be left to raise a beautiful child by yourself or left with an incurable sexual disease.
Both of those things could affect both your future and a future relationship if you were to break up.
Every new relationship takes time to develop and mature.
And some things – especially sex – shouldn’t be rushed. Because the things you do early on in a new relationship can either spoil a good thing or help it to mature into something wonderful and long term.
Avoid making him jump through hoops to date you. And don’t have sex with him until he’s made a commitment to you and you’re in an exclusive relationship.
Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.
The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who finds herself in any of the following circumstances:
– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men
Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.
GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Stephanie Berghaeuser for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Love (c) Stephanie Berghaeuser Image #1039712 freeimages.com