In one of my articles I mentioned that many women are too picky and that they don’t give (nice) guys a chance.
They make snap decisions and turn away guys who could be perfect for them.
That’s not to say that every guy you meet will be right for you.
There’s ONE special guy out there who hasn’t yet found you.
In the meantime, you’ll date a lot of nice – and not-so-nice – guys before you find your Mr. Right.
What Would Make You Turn Down A Second Date With A Guy?
Imagine this dating scenario….
You met this guy online.
He seems nice.
You both have things in common.
He makes you laugh.
He asks you out on a date.
And you say, “Yes!”
You meet at a restaurant.
You sit down.
And you start talking.
It’s back and forth, question after question.
And then, as you gather more information about this guy, you start to see patterns emerge that send up red flags.
>> “Do you mind if I smoke?” (OMG. He smokes. Ewwww. He never told me that!)
>> “My divorce just got finalized. I’m so glad I’m free. I’ll never marry again.” (Huh? I thought you wanted a relationship?)
>> “I’m not close to my kids. I haven’t spoken to them in a few years.” (What’s wrong with you if even your kids don’t like you?)
>> “I’ll have another drink, please.” (I’m not counting but isn’t this his fifth drink?)
>> “Come on, have another drink with me.” (Looks like he needs a drinking buddy, not a partner.)
>> “I live with a roommate and we share expenses. I’ve been “between jobs” for a few years now.” (Translation: He’s unemployed. Maybe even unemployable. But sometimes, this isn’t a deal breaker – it just depends on the circumstances. He might be an entrepreneur who just sold his stake in a company for millions of dollars and he’s looking for the next idea to start a company.)
>> “I’ve been divorced two times. Marriage never seems to work out.” (Oh? Why is that?)
>> “How many one night stands have you had?” (I’m flabbergasted that you’re even asking me that question)
>> “I’ve had 100 first dates. Never seem to get past the first date with women.” (There has to be a reason, don’t you think?)
>> “I’ve never married. Actually I’m looking for someone who is in her 30’s. You seem a bit old to me.” (Then why did you ask me out?)
>> “I think I retired too early. Not much money left. But I sure enjoy being a beach bum.” (Good news! There are some wealthy beach bums out there. He’s just not one of them.)
>> “So you don’t think I look like my photos on my online dating profile? They were taken about 15 years ago.” (Does he look better now or then? And if he looks better now, why wouldn’t he post those photos? Perhaps he’s playing with you.)
>> “Yeah, I’ve put on a little (!) weight since the photos I showed on my profile.” (Liar. That’s a lot of weight.)
>> “Well, everybody exaggerates their height in online dating profiles. Heck, if I had told you I was only 5 feet 5 inches would you have gone out with me? (Maybe. Maybe not. Why not charm me with your personality and we’ll see where things go.)
>> “So how do you like my unshaven, scruffy look? I thought I’d show you my rugged side.” (Not very impressive when he doesn’t clean up for his date. But don’t be fooled. He could really be a millionaire who wants to find a woman who likes him for who he is, not for his money.)
>> “I have a few health issues I didn’t mention to you when we were chatting. Heart problems. Bit of a problem in the bedroom, too. Is that a deal breaker with you?” (What exactly are you trying to say here, buddy?”)
>> “I said in my dating profile that I was looking for a long term relationship. But I’m really happier with a Friends With Benefits arrangement.” (I’m out of here.)
>> “I have a confession. I’m really 65, not 55.” (Really?!? As if I couldn’t tell. Why did you lie?)
>> “I hang out with a lot of celebrities. You know…like (name of celebrity) and (name of celebrity).” (Am I supposed to be impressed?)
>> “I actually live in San Diego. Thought I’d widen the scope when looking for someone.” (Oh? San Diego’s a pretty big city. It must have some eligible women. Besides, I don’t want to drive for two hours for a date.)
Many of these are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.
And they indicate he’s not the type of guy you’re looking for.
Top 4 Deal Breakers
Obviously your deal breakers shouldn’t be frivolous. They have to be major things that affect a relationship.
These can include…
1. He Blames Others For His Misfortunes – Especially When It Comes To Dating And Relationships
This guy is pretty easy to spot.
Because he’ll soon unburden himself on you…looking for your sympathy.
He’s the type of guy who doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions…or the outcome of those actions.
Everyone else is to blame for what has happened to him.
His wife didn’t understand him.
His boss doesn’t understand him.
His kids don’t understand him.
2. He Doesn’t Show You He’s Interested In You And He Doesn’t Try To Please You
If he’s interested in you he should be trying to please you in some way.
Instead, it’s all about him.
There are lots of ways a man can show his interest in you without going overboard.
He might not send you a dozen roses with a love note every day but he’s considerate and tries to make you happy in other ways…
He chooses your favorite restaurant.
He does your laundry or mows your lawn while you’re at work.
He takes you to that chick flick you’ve been dying to see.
He cooks a surprise dinner for you when you’ve had a hard day at work.
3. He’s Into Himself, Not You
This type of guy is self centered…and selfish.
Everything is about him.
And he comes first.
He talks about himself and doesn’t get to know you.
You’d think he’d at least show some interest in you by asking you questions and learning more about who you are as a person.
That’s kind of important when it comes to being involved with someone.
4. He’s A Liar (Or A Game Player)
It’s the little lies that start the ball rolling.
The lie about his age.
The lie about his relationship status. (A definite deal breaker if he’s married.)
The lie about his weight…or height.
What else has he told you that isn’t true?
Or he likes to “test” you…to see how you react.
He tests your reaction to things he does or tells you.
It’s not a good way to start out any relationship.
And dating and relationships aren’t about “testing” the other person. It’s about having a connection.
There are going to be times when you make a hasty decision about a guy – and it’s going to be wrong. Because he’s a nice guy who will make someone a wonderful partner.
But there will be times when you just know in your heart of hearts that the guy sitting across for you just isn’t the type of guy you could see spending the rest of your life with.
Look for the signs that he shows you – either directly or indirectly.
And if he’s wrong for you, move on to the next guy.
Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.
The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.
It’s for the woman who:
– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men
Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System
GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Audrey Johnson for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Pretty and Pink (c) Audrey Johnson Image #530209 freeimages.com