When You Shouldn’t Give A Guy A Second Chance

“Sometimes the guy you meet is Mr. Wrong right from the get go. It’s part of dating and something you have to go through to find your Mr. Right.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Advice pretty roses

In one of my articles I mentioned that many women are too picky and that they don’t give (nice) guys a chance.

They make snap decisions and turn away guys who could be perfect for them.

That’s not to say that every guy you meet will be right for you.

There’s ONE special guy out there who hasn’t yet found you.

In the meantime, you’ll date a lot of nice – and not-so-nice – guys before you find your Mr. Right.

What Would Make You Turn Down A Second Date With A Guy?

Imagine this dating scenario….

You met this guy online.

He seems nice.

You both have things in common.

He makes you laugh.

He asks you out on a date.

And you say, “Yes!”

You meet at a restaurant.

You sit down.

And you start talking.

It’s back and forth, question after question.

And then, as you gather more information about this guy, you start to see patterns emerge that send up red flags.

Things like…

>> “Do you mind if I smoke?” (OMG. He smokes. Ewwww. He never told me that!)

>> “My divorce just got finalized. I’m so glad I’m free. I’ll never marry again.” (Huh? I thought you wanted a relationship?)

>> “I’m not close to my kids. I haven’t spoken to them in a few years.” (What’s wrong with you if even your kids don’t like you?)

>> “I’ll have another drink, please.” (I’m not counting but isn’t this his fifth drink?)

>> “Come on, have another drink with me.” (Looks like he needs a drinking buddy, not a partner.)

>> “I live with a roommate and we share expenses. I’ve been “between jobs” for a few years now.” (Translation: He’s unemployed. Maybe even unemployable. But sometimes, this isn’t a deal breaker – it just depends on the circumstances. He might be an entrepreneur who just sold his stake in a company for millions of dollars and he’s looking for the next idea to start a company.)

>> “I’ve been divorced two times. Marriage never seems to work out.” (Oh? Why is that?)

>> “How many one night stands have you had?” (I’m flabbergasted that you’re even asking me that question)

>> “I’ve had 100 first dates. Never seem to get past the first date with women.” (There has to be a reason, don’t you think?)

>> “I’ve never married. Actually I’m looking for someone who is in her 30’s. You seem a bit old to me.” (Then why did you ask me out?)

>> “I think I retired too early. Not much money left. But I sure enjoy being a beach bum.” (Good news! There are some wealthy beach bums out there. He’s just not one of them.)

>> “So you don’t think I look like my photos on my online dating profile? They were taken about 15 years ago.” (Does he look better now or then? And if he looks better now, why wouldn’t he post those photos? Perhaps he’s playing with you.)

>> “Yeah, I’ve put on a little (!) weight since the photos I showed on my profile.” (Liar. That’s a lot of weight.)

>> “Well, everybody exaggerates their height in online dating profiles. Heck, if I had told you I was only 5 feet 5 inches would you have gone out with me? (Maybe. Maybe not. Why not charm me with your personality and we’ll see where things go.)

>> “So how do you like my unshaven, scruffy look? I thought I’d show you my rugged side.” (Not very impressive when he doesn’t clean up for his date. But don’t be fooled. He could really be a millionaire who wants to find a woman who likes him for who he is, not for his money.)

>> “I have a few health issues I didn’t mention to you when we were chatting. Heart problems. Bit of a problem in the bedroom, too. Is that a deal breaker with you?” (What exactly are you trying to say here, buddy?”)

>> “I said in my dating profile that I was looking for a long term relationship. But I’m really happier with a Friends With Benefits arrangement.” (I’m out of here.)

>> “I have a confession. I’m really 65, not 55.” (Really?!? As if I couldn’t tell. Why did you lie?)

>> “I hang out with a lot of celebrities. You know…like (name of celebrity) and (name of celebrity).” (Am I supposed to be impressed?)

>> “I actually live in San Diego. Thought I’d widen the scope when looking for someone.” (Oh? San Diego’s a pretty big city. It must have some eligible women. Besides, I don’t want to drive for two hours for a date.)

Many of these are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored.

And they indicate he’s not the type of guy you’re looking for.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Why He Disappeared | Attracting Mr. Right

Top 4 Deal Breakers

Obviously your deal breakers shouldn’t be frivolous. They have to be major things that affect a relationship.

These can include…

1. He Blames Others For His Misfortunes – Especially When It Comes To Dating And Relationships

This guy is pretty easy to spot.

Because he’ll soon unburden himself on you…looking for your sympathy.

He’s the type of guy who doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions…or the outcome of those actions.

Everyone else is to blame for what has happened to him.

His wife didn’t understand him.

His boss doesn’t understand him.

His kids don’t understand him.

2. He Doesn’t Show You He’s Interested In You And He Doesn’t Try To Please You

If he’s interested in you he should be trying to please you in some way.

Instead, it’s all about him.

There are lots of ways a man can show his interest in you without going overboard.

He might not send you a dozen roses with a love note every day but he’s considerate and tries to make you happy in other ways…

He chooses your favorite restaurant.

He does your laundry or mows your lawn while you’re at work.

He takes you to that chick flick you’ve been dying to see.

He cooks a surprise dinner for you when you’ve had a hard day at work.

3. He’s Into Himself, Not You

This type of guy is self centered…and selfish.

Everything is about him.

And he comes first.

He talks about himself and doesn’t get to know you.

You’d think he’d at least show some interest in you by asking you questions and learning more about who you are as a person.

That’s kind of important when it comes to being involved with someone.

4. He’s A Liar (Or A Game Player)

It’s the little lies that start the ball rolling.

The lie about his age.

The lie about his relationship status. (A definite deal breaker if he’s married.)

The lie about his weight…or height.

What else has he told you that isn’t true?

Or he likes to “test” you…to see how you react.

He tests your reaction to things he does or tells you.

It’s not a good way to start out any relationship.

And dating and relationships aren’t about “testing” the other person. It’s about having a connection.

There are going to be times when you make a hasty decision about a guy – and it’s going to be wrong. Because he’s a nice guy who will make someone a wonderful partner.

But there will be times when you just know in your heart of hearts that the guy sitting across for you just isn’t the type of guy you could see spending the rest of your life with.

Look for the signs that he shows you – either directly or indirectly.

And if he’s wrong for you, move on to the next guy.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.

It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Audrey Johnson for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Pretty and Pink (c) Audrey Johnson Image #530209 freeimages.com

Why You Get Discouraged With Dating After 40

“One of the biggest issues you’ll have with dating after 40 is waiting around for that guy you met – or went on a date with – to call you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach love heart

No doubt about it. It can be discouraging when you wait for a guy to call you…and he doesn’t.

It was bad enough when you were younger waiting around for that dreamy boy in school or college to phone you.

But when you’re dating after 40 (or older) it seems even worse.

And there’s a reason for that…

The pool of eligible men shrinks more and more as you mature.

So it’s harder to find a quality man to have a relationship with.

And it can be more than that.

You’re at a point in your life where you’re more mature and more established. You know what you want.

Trouble is, you want “it” now. And “it” is a great relationship with a wonderful man.

You don’t want to wait.

Which Of These Dating Situations Have You Experienced?

Of all the problems women have with dating after 40, it’s the “Why doesn’t he call?” question that I see the most often.

Why he doesn’t call can be part of why he disappeared after a date (and never called again, even though his parting words were, “I’ll call you.”)

Or it can be why he didn’t call when he said he would…but eventually phones you.

Or it could be why he didn’t call when you expect him to.

I’ve already discussed why he disappears after a date and you don’t hear from him again.

It could be something you said or did that turned him off.

Or it could be something about him that makes him decide not to pursue you or a relationship with you.

There can be legitimate reasons why he doesn’t call when he said he would – and they might not have anything to do with you at all.

His reason could be work related.

It could be family related. There may be a family emergency or an illness in the family.

You have to keep in mind that at the very beginning of a relationship or when you’ve just met a guy, you’re not usually his priority unless he doesn’t have much of a life.

In most cases, you’re a small part of his busy life at this point.

He has his work, his friends, his activities, and his family – all of which (unfortunately) take priority over you.

The “I’ll Call You” Scenario In Dating

Let’s say, for example, he said in a casual sort of way that he’d call and you haven’t heard from him.

Two days later…no call.

Five days later…no call.

A week later…you pick up the phone…and it’s him.

Or here’s another real life scenario…

You “meet” a great guy online.

You email each other.

You message each other.

You talk on the phone.

And you get into a routine to go online each night to either message each other or talk on Skype.

It’s usually a pre-established time but if you don’t happen to make arrangements beforehand you still go on and he’s there waiting for you.

Only something happens one evening…

And he’s not waiting for you.

In fact, you can see that he’s online but he hasn’t come on to say “hi” to you or to “talk” to you.

Do You Say Things Like This When You’re Discouraged With Dating?

What is going through your mind when you don’t hear from him?

Probably things like….

> I knew he was too good to be true.

> Nobody loves me.

> I’m being dumped again.

> I’m not attractive enough to have a man in my life.

> I did something wrong that screwed up a promising relationship.

> I feel like a failure.

> I feel all alone.

And then you get mad at him.

You feel he has disrespected you.

You feel that you’ve been rejected.

You now accept that there won’t be a relationship.

Or, if you’ve been dating him for a short while, that the relationship is over.

After all, you think, if he really cared about me he wouldn’t leave me hanging. He could have at least picked up the phone.

And you nurse your wounds by saying you don’t need a man in your life.

Is Something Really Wrong With The Relationship?

It’s very easy to get into this negative thinking when in fact, there might be nothing wrong at all – at least from his point of view.

He may genuinely be busy and doesn’t want to phone you until his schedule is clear so he can ask you out.

Or he may want to give you your space not knowing that you miss him and you want to see as much of him as you can.

This isn’t about making excuses for him. It’s about taking a different perspective on things.

Let me ask you this:

If you were busy in your life, with your work, friends, family, and activities, would it matter so much if he didn’t call you within a day or so?

Chances are it wouldn’t.

Because you’d be busy. Your mind would be occupied with other things.

You’d let this promising relationship progress naturally – the way it’s supposed to progress.

Too often we’re in a rush to escalate a relationship instead of taking our time.

If you don’t hear from him and he disappears from your life then he’s done you a favor because he’s not right for you.

He’s saved you wasting time on him. So now you can move onto the next man.

You’re disappointed, of course.

You might have even had your heart set on this man.

So you’re feeling heartbroken.

But be thankful you didn’t waste months or years on him if he’s not ready for a committed relationship.

If you didn’t have much invested in the relationship you’ll get over your hurt quickly and you’ll be able to move on.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Internet Dating Scams | Attracting Mr. Right

How A Smart Woman Reacts When A Guy Says He’ll Call And He Takes Longer Than Expected

Now…

…how do you react to his call when he does phone you (or in the online example, when he messages you)?

This really is the moment of truth.

This is where many women make a huge mistake.

And they kill any hope of a relationship.

By this time they’re all wound up and ready to lash back at him.

They’ve worked themselves into such a state of mind that they’re not thinking clearly.

All they want to do is lash back and make him feel bad about not phoning sooner.

So this is your opportunity to show him how you’re different from other women.

If you give him a hard time, he’ll either back off, distance himself, and eventually disappear.

Or, he’ll immediately be out of there.

You won’t hear from him again.

If you’re cold to him, he’s going to wonder what he did wrong.

And he’ll retreat.

He’s going to feel thankful that he found out about your true personality and how you treat him before things got more serious.

But if you’re cheerful and let him know you’re glad to hear from him, he’ll not only be surprised and pleased, he’ll immediately see that you’re not like other women he’s dated.

And that can be a good thing because it could lead to a wonderful, fulfilling relationship.

This is all about mindset and how you see things.

It’s about thinking positively instead of negatively.

What To Do When He Doesn’t Call

You now know what to do if he takes his time calling you.

So let’s recap what to do in the three situations I’ve described:

1. He disappears after you had an amazing date with him?

So what?

Sure it hurts.

Sure it makes you sad.

Sure it makes you mad.

But…it’s his loss, not yours.

There are other guys out there who are looking for a smart, attractive woman like you.

2. He doesn’t call when you says he’ll call?

So what?

Live your life.

Stay busy.

Don’t focus on one man.

If he calls then make him feel welcome instead of scolding him and making him feel bad.

3. He doesn’t call when you think he should.

So what?

He doesn’t know when he “should” call you based on your “rules.”

Throw away those “rules” if you have any.

Do things you enjoy.

Keep your mind focused on other things in your life, not just one man.

It all boils down to living your life…and what your expectations are.

Because reality is, he hasn’t made a commitment to you. He isn’t part of your life…yet.

Right now he’s nothing more than a prospective boyfriend or partner.

If you are in a relationship, talk to him. Let him know what would be nice, not what you demand from him.

If you keep that in mind you’ll shield your heart from hurt and live a happier life.

And you’ll increase your chances of ending up in a happy relationship with a great guy because you won’t have turned him off with an attitude that scares guys away.

Why you get discouraged with dating after 40 is because you haven’t yet found anyone and you’re not in a loving relationship. But there’s no reason to let that overshadow your search for a quality guy and ruin your chance to have a wonderful man in your life.

Don’t get hung up on the “I’ll call you” promise that guys make.

If they do call you that’s an opportunity to see if things can go further.

If they don’t call you, that’s okay. You have a life to live and other guys to pursue.

As long as you keep busy, don’t focus solely on one guy in the beginning, and don’t let negative thoughts creep in, you’ll be fine.

And you’ll attract men who want to be with you and who want to please you.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank tijmen van dobbenburgh for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Love you (c) tijmen van dobbenburgh Image #510909 freeimages.com

Why He Disappeared

“You will encounter all types of men who seem perfect for you. Their actions will speak louder than their words.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach roses2

Have you ever met a man where you thought, “You had me at ‘hello’” – where you thought he was interesting and maybe even perfect for you?

It’s not unusual to meet a guy who at first blush seems almost too perfect to be true.

He’s good looking. He’s charming. He’s fun to be with. He’s attentive. He says all the right things a girl wants to hear.

The Perfect Date

He takes you on a date.

He wines and dines you.

The setting is romantic.

You look into each other’s eyes and smile at each other.

There seems like an unspoken message that passes between the two of you.

You might even be impulsive and grab his hand and give it a squeeze to show you like him even though you only met a few hours ago.

The date eventually comes to an end.

You hug him.

You give him a little kiss.

As he is leaving he says, “I’ll call you.”

And you’re thrilled to hear him say those three words.

To you, they promise a future with a great guy.

You go home and dream about him.

You replay the date over and over again.

You fantasize about what your future would look like with him.

It’s like having a teenage crush on the boy at school.

The Waiting Game – It’s Part Of Dating

And now you wait to hear from this new man in your life.

A day passes.

“He must be busy,” you think.

You might even start cancelling plans you had with friends for fear of missing his phone call or not being available to see him.

Then two days go by.

“I wonder why I haven’t heard from him?” you say to yourself as that little panicky feeling starts to set in.

On the third day you begin to come to the realization that he might not phone you.

Finally a week has gone by.

No phone call.

No email.

No text messages.

Nothing.

With a sinking feeling you now realize you aren’t going to hear from him again.

And then you get discouraged…and sad.

And you start questioning yourself.

Here you thought you were attractive and fun to be with (which you are) and he had a good time with you and he doesn’t phone you even though he promised he would.

Are You Looking For Answers When He Doesn’t Call?

By this time you’re not replaying the date so much as you’re looking for answers why he didn’t phone you.

> Did you do something wrong that turned him off?

> Did he really like you or was he only pretending to like you?

> Why would he say he’d call if he had no intention to do so?

> Should you wait to hear from him before you look for someone else?

And you might be thinking things like…

> Why does this always happen to me?

> I’m going to give up on dating.

These are the things that probably go through your mind after going on a great date and being disappointed when the guy doesn’t phone you.

Why He Didn’t Call You

Let’s examine what happened and what you can do about it.

First, you will never know what really happened.

He might have had cold feet or not felt any chemistry.

He might have had second thoughts about wanting to date you or about even being in a relationship.

He might have been turned off by things you said or did.

He might have found someone else he was interested in.

He might have been married or in a relationship.

He might have had a situation – family or work – come up that meant he couldn’t phone you when he planned to. And then he got embarrassed that so much time had passed and was afraid to phone you. Because in his experience he’ll get a cold reception and be made to feel like a jerk for taking so long to phone.

Do you see how the possible explanations can go on and on?

He might have genuinely liked you and in the moment he promised to call you.

Or…which is just as likely, he said, “I’ll call you” as a way of parting so things wouldn’t be awkward.

It could be his way of saying he’s not interested without coming out and saying those exact words and hurting you.

After all, “I’ll call you” is totally different from “Are you free on Saturday night?” or “I’d like to see you again. When are you free?”

In fact, if a guy does say to you, “I’ll call you” take it with a grain of salt and start onto the next guy in your dating funnel. Because chances are he won’t phone. If he does, that’s great. If he doesn’t it’s no big deal.

Did You Do Something That Turned Him Off?

Maybe you did do or say something that turned him off.

Maybe you revealed too much information to him about your abusive ex or about your health or about your sex life or about your sad childhood or how you don’t speak to your siblings or to your grown up children.

Maybe you didn’t want to appear needy so you told him you’re independent and you don’t really need a man in your life.

Maybe you have four cats and he’s allergic to cats.

Maybe you didn’t dress appropriately and tried to squeeze into an outfit that wasn’t very flattering.

If you did turn him off somehow, you will never know…unless, of course, you already know that you said or did something that you wish you hadn’t (and you’re mentally kicking yourself for doing it).

What you need to realize is that when you first meet a guy, you shouldn’t – and definitely don’t – commit with all of your heart.

It’s not love at first sight.

You don’t know this guy.

Even if you’ve traded emails and phone calls and text messages for weeks before you meet, you still don’t know who he is.

And what’s happened is that you’ve invested your feelings in one guy who you don’t know anything about in real life.

Your first meetings and dates are where you find out if you like him.

This is the discovery period where you get to know him.

It’s not the time where you commit to him.

Remember, relationships take time – even if you have been emailing and chatting before you met.

You’re not in an instant relationship just because he’s no longer someone you talk to “online” and you’ve now met him in person.

How To Approach Dating

This is where men approach dating a little differently that women.

Men go on a date thinking, “Let’s see if she’s nice and whether I like her.”

Women go on a date thinking, “I wonder if he’s The One.”

Do you see how very different those two ways of thinking are?

Men can shrug off disappointment easier with their expectation. Women, on the other hand, set themselves up for hurt – especially when they pin all of their hopes and dreams on one guy.

In the meantime, you’ve been putting off meeting other guys.

And, instead, you’ve been caught up in self doubt and hurt because this one date that you pinned everything on didn’t work out.

Avoid Doing This When Dating

What do you do to avoid this in the future?

First, you change your expectations.

Your expectations should be to get to know the guy to see if he’s boyfriend material.

Secondly, you avoid concentrating all of your efforts on one guy.

Have a couple of other guys in the background and get to know them too.

Don’t pin all of your hopes on one guy only to discover he’s not the one for you.

Yes, he looked promising.

But in reality you knew nothing about the guy in real life.

And it doesn’t matter what he’s told you in emails or phone calls, you really don’t know this man until you’re with him and you talk to him and you spend time with him and get to know him.

I realize how hard this is for many women. (It happens to guys too.)

It’s especially difficult if there aren’t a lot of good prospects out there.

If you “met” online, then chances are you revealed things to him that you haven’t told other people.

You might be a little embarrassed about what you said to him.

You might have even flirted a little with him and said racy things and gotten a little carried away.

How To Shield Yourself From Dating Disappointment

There’s only one way to shield yourself from major disappointment and hurt.

And that’s to not concentrate on just one guy.

As the saying goes, have more than one iron in the fire.

That’s not cheating or being unfaithful.

You’re not in an exclusive relationship with this guy.

He hasn’t committed to you and you haven’t committed to him.

If one guy doesn’t work out, so what?

You explore things with the next guy.

And the next.

Until you find the guy who’s right for you.

Be smart about dating.

Be brave.

Stay strong.

And stay the course.

Because you will find your Mr. Right.

Click here to increase your chances of finding YOUR Mr. Right or Soulmate.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Andrew C. for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Roses (c) Andrew C. Image #936338 freeimages.com

Dating Advice For Women: Questions To Ask Men

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“A date isn’t an interview or a confessional. You’re being judged on the things you say and do during a date. Leave a first good impression and your chances for a second date are much higher.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach

When it comes to dating advice for women, one of the first questions many women ask is what questions should I ask?

It’s a great question because when you’re getting to know someone who you’re interested in for a relationship it’s common to ask questions.

This is especially true with online dating where it’s easier to ask questions and not feel that you’re pressing too hard to get to the answers that are important to you.

But it can be a trap if you’re not careful. The questions you ask and the answers you give can turn a guy off.

Keep in mind that when you meet someone – online or offline – and you want to know something about them you don’t want to make it look like it’s an interview.

So you don’t ask things like, “What are your goals?” Or, “Where do you see yourself in 5 year’s time?” Or, “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”

Those aren’t the types of questions you ask – although some of that information may come about through casual conversation.

For example, he tells you what he does for a living. And then he says that in five year’s time he expects to be promoted to a higher position or move on to another job.

Instead of these “interview” type of questions, ask another type of question.

These are what I call initial “qualifiers” to see if it’s worthwhile moving forward with the guy you’re interested in.

Common questions from women – whether you’re on a date or you’re on an online dating site – can include the following:

1. Have You Ever Been Married?

These days “single” can mean never been married or divorced and no more ex in his life.

With online dating you’ll usually find a section about marital status.

Some guys have been married and divorced. Some men are widowers. Some are separated from their wife.

Others are married and looking for an affair or a no strings attached arrangement.

And others have never been married. They may be confirmed bachelors, they may be players, they may be smooth talkers, or they may not have found the woman they’re searching for.

2. Are You Seeing Anyone Right Now? [or] Do You Believe In Monogamy?

This question is sometimes disguised to mean whether he’s sleeping with anyone or whether he has a relationship with someone that he hasn’t disclosed.

This is a particularly important question since most people want to have an exclusive relationship.

With sexual disease prevalent, it’s not unusual to expect exclusivity in a relationship – especially if you’re intimate with a man.

If you ask, “Do you believe in monogamy?” it could reveal whether he’s sleeping with other women or wants to date a number of women instead of just one exclusively.

3. What Do You Do For A Living?

It’s common to ask this question. In fact, it’s probably one of the most frequently asked questions. The man you have your eye on may be a professional. He may be unemployed. He may be “between jobs.” He may be an entrepreneur. Or he may be underemployed or unemployable because of his age or for health reasons.

It will be up to you to decide which is acceptable to you. Some women don’t mind helping their man financially. Others have done it all their lives and are now looking for more security from a man who has a good job.

These days with housing and living costs so high, it’s nice to know that the man you’re dating has either a good job or has some financial resources to fall back on if the relationship progresses and especially if you decide to get married.

4. Tell Me About Your Family – Your Parent, Your Siblings, Your Children

We all like to know something about the other person’s family. After all, if things were to progress, you would eventually meet his family.

It’s also nice to know something about his relationship with his family. For example, is he close to his parents and his children.

If he’s an older man, it’s likely that his children are grown up and on their own. And sometimes that can be important in a budding relationship.

Some people like children but don’t want to raise any more children. So that could be a deal breaker for them when considering dating a man.

5. What Do You Like To Do For Fun?

This question will give you an idea about whether the guy you’re interested in is a fun guy. Whether he likes to travel. And whether the two of you have common interests.

It’s also interesting to know something about his passions, interests, hobbies, and how he spends his free time because it can open up new opportunities for things to do together.

Of course, if he’s into hang gliding or rock climbing or base jumping or bungy jumping or skydiving, he might be a little too adventurous for you.

Even worse, he might encourage you to take up extreme sports when you’re deathly afraid of them and prefer to have your feet firmly planted on the ground.

6. How Long Have You Lived In Your Town or City?

People move. And sometimes you’ll find a common town or city where you have both lived. Or you may have mutual friends from the same town or city.

It’s always easier to relate to someone if you have something in common or a shared experience.

7. Do You Drink, Smoke, Gamble, Or Use Non-Prescription and Prescription Drugs?

In other words, what sins do you like?

You don’t have to ask this question outright. For example, you could ask, “Have you ever been to Vegas?” or “Have you tried (name a casino)?”

In most cases, you’ll get some idea about a person’s “sins” on the first date or two. For example, he may order a lot of drinks if you’re at a restaurant. Or he might reveal his favorite pastime is getting together with the guys and drinking. Or he may excuse himself to go outside for a quick smoke.

Most online dating sites have a section for this so you can see what a man’s habits are.

And if you’re looking for someone who doesn’t smoke or do drugs and is a light drinker then it’s important that you know right from the beginning so you can qualify or disqualify him as a potential romantic candidate.

Drugs can be a major issue – and a deal breaker – for many people.

Even prescription drugs can be a red flag since they can affect a person’s behavior and even their sexual performance.

8. What Are You Looking For In A Partner?

This is a great question to ask any man you’re interested in because it gives you an idea what his expectations are.

He might, for example, be looking for casual dating. Or a one-night stand. Or a friend with benefits.

He may be looking for a companion for social outings and travel. He might be looking for someone to talk to and do things with as an activity partner.

Or he might be looking for love and a long term relationship with the possibility of marriage if things work out.

Some guys might also tell you they’re not interested in raising any more children – especially if their own children are grown up. So, if you’re a single parent with young children, he probably isn’t a candidate for a relationship.

If he asks you the same question, it’s best to be candid about what you’re really looking for so as not to lead him on.

But you have to be careful how you answer. For example, if you say you’re looking for a husband it will very likely scare him off.

It’s best to keep it general in the beginning. Instead, you might say you’re looking for someone to enjoy fun times with and see if a relationship develops.

Of course, if you’re only looking for intimacy then it’s best to disclose that right at the beginning and say you’re looking for a lover or for a no strings attached arrangement.

If you’re only looking for a friend or companion then he may not be a good choice if he’s looking for a lover or a future wife.

Avoid the type of answer like “an honest man” or “a guy who isn’t a loser” or “a nice guy.” These types of answers can signal bitterness from previous bad experiences with men and can reflect poorly on you.

When asking questions you don’t want to appear as though you’re prying or trying to complete a man-catching checklist.

You want to keep things casual and light.

The trouble is that when you’re considering dating a guy, you want to know that your time is well invested and you don’t want any surprises that could be deal breakers.

On the other hand, you don’t want to turn the guy off with your probing questions.

Of course, the tables can be turned on you as the man asks you questions.

Questions like:

1. What Happened In Your Marriage?

This is a question that could still cause you pain or anger if you’re recently divorced and starting all over after many years of what you thought was a happy marriage until your ex-husband ran off with a younger woman.

And it’s up to you whether you want to go into the details. If your ex husband was a cheater or had an affair or multiple affairs it’s entirely appropriate to mention that. Or you can simply say you and your ex-husband grew apart or you fell out of love and only stayed together until the children were grown up.

2. How Old Are You?

Many online dating sites ask you to indicate your age. Most people are reasonably honest about this question.

Some women are embarrassed to think that they’re looking for a relationship in their later years when their dream was to be married all their lives to one man.

It used to be that a man would never ask a woman’s age.

But times have changed.

It’s your choice whether to tell him specifically how old you are.

If the relationship progresses he’ll want to at least know when your birthday is. Or he might allude to how old you are by making remarks about specific events in history – for example, when the Beatles came to America.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Internet Dating Scams | Are You Too Picky

3. How Many Relationships Have You Had In The Past?

This is a cute way of asking how many men you’ve slept with.

It might even give him an idea of your experience as a sexual partner.

It’s not a question you need to answer or divulge.

It’s your personal business.

4. What Would You Do If You Found Out You Were Pregnant?

This is an oblique way of asking whether you’re sexually active and whether you use birth control.

It’s a question that eventually has to be answered if you’re intimate with the man you’re dating.

But as an initial question from someone you don’t know very well it’s up to you whether you answer it.

5. Do You Enjoy Sex?

For a lot of women sex questions are a turn off until they get to know a guy and think there is a connection.

Be prepared for this question from guys. Because, let’s face it, most guys are interested in sex in a relationship.

But use your common sense, too. It’s not a topic that should be encouraged in the beginning. If the question is asked in the first email or two – and you don’t know each other very well – then it’s inappropriate.

You should get to know each other first before delving into the “sex” questions which will include things like preferences, forbidden practices, birth control, condoms, sexually transmitted diseases, and being tested.

6. How Would Your Friends Describe You or What Would They Say About You?

It’s another great question. Generally you want to be able to bring out your good points about your personality and qualities.

It’s a tricky question because he might be looking for the negative qualities you have – you might get angry quickly or you might be a critical person. Or you might be jealous or you might be needy or desperate.

These qualities are guy turnoffs. And, in a guy, they’re very likely turnoffs for you too.

Obviously you want to put your best foot forward when answering questions from a prospective relationship candidate.

You want to keep things upbeat and positive. You don’t want your potential lover to wince and duck his head at the thought of being savagely mauled by your overprotective Chihuahua or the thought of the front door being smashed open by a jealous ex husband or boyfriend as your new lover has you in his arms making mad passionate love to you.

The thing to keep in mind with asking questions is that the answers to many of them will come as you get to know the man you’re interested in.

And be prepared for the answers you ask be asked of you.

Find The Man of Your Dreams Who Makes You Happy

Just as there are questions to avoid asking, there are also topics to avoid talking about.

In the Girl Gets Great Guy System – which is dating advice for women who want to find the man of their dreams – I not only show you how to ask questions without it seeming like he’s applying for a “position” in a job, I also cover 15 different topics to avoid discussing on the first date because they can change the mood and instantly turn guys off.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love. It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

How To Ruin A New Relationship

“Treat a new relationship gently – it could develop into a commitment that lasts a lifetime.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach. love hearts

You meet a guy and you’re really into him…and he’s really into you.

It looks promising.

He’s everything you ever wanted in a guy.

He’s fun.

He’s romantic.

He’s handsome.

He’s smart.

He’s a manly man.

And even though you’re in the infatuation stage where he can do no wrong, you think he might be The One.

But there are ways to spoil a budding relationship that showed so much promise.

And it’s a pity because a beginning relationship can be spoiled so quickly if it’s not nurtured properly.

Here are the top two ways to ruin what could be a promising relationship:

1. Playing Games

Playing games with a guy can be a huge turnoff.

And it’s one of the quickest ways to lose a guy.

Guys like to chase a woman.

They’re wired for it.

And the guy who is chasing you should be working to win your heart if he’s interested in you.

But don’t play games with him.

That’s more likely to annoy him than encourage him.

Instead, encourage him to date you and court you.

Return his calls or text messages quickly.

Don’t frustrate him and leave him hanging when he shows a willingness to be with you.

Don’t keep him guessing whether you’re interested in him.

You don’t have to profess your undying love to him or use the “L” word.

But you should show him you’re interested in him and you’re open to seeing him and spending time with him.

Don’t blow him off when he asks you for a date.

If you can’t make the day or evening that he suggests, suggest another time. Don’t let him get away with a “I’ll phone you another time to set something up” because he might not phone you again.

Let him know you’re disappointed you can’t make the original date and be sure to make firm plans for a new time that is good for both of you.

And don’t cancel on him again – unless it really is a true emergency.

Show your interest in him.

Be fun to be with.

Make him feel excited to be with you so he will want to continue seeing you.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

2. Having Sex With Him Too Soon

Let’s face it…it’s no surprise that he wants to sleep with you.

That’s nature’s way.

It doesn’t make him a pervert to have those feelings because it’s a natural thing between two people who are in love.

But having sex too soon can spoil everything.

I know what you’re thinking…

He’s hot.

He’s handsome.

He’s got a gorgeous body.

He has a great smile.

He makes you feel wonderful.

And you’re feeling frisky.

Your hormones are working overtime especially when you’re around him.

You just want to rip his clothes off and get rid of all of that sexual tension that is building up inside of you.

Big mistake!

It’s nature’s (unintentional) trap.

And, if you’re not careful and if you’re not strong, you’re going to fall right into it and perhaps even regret it down the road.

It’s especially difficult if you haven’t been in a relationship for quite a while.

Along comes your perfect man and you want to show him how much you appreciate him and love him.

I get how you’re feeling.

But here’s my suggestion:

If you want the relationship to develop, let it progress naturally.

It’s okay to keep him interested with kissing and touching but that’s the limit until you are ready.

Don’t have sex (including oral sex) until you’re in a committed relationship where you are exclusive to him.

And that means he makes that commitment to you.

You’re not asking him to marry you.

Instead, you’re asking him to commit to being exclusive with you.

That’s the defining point in the relationship to see if it will progress to something more.

You don’t want him sleeping around.

You definitely don’t want to be another notch in his bedpost.

And you don’t want him to satisfy his curiosity about you sexually and then move on to another woman.

You want to be his one and only.

When you give yourself to him you want to feel – and know – that he’s yours and you’re his top priority.

Keep in mind that giving yourself to him doesn’t mean he’ll automatically bond with you or be closer to you and want to be in an exclusive relationship.

Bonding with you is much more likely to happen when he’s in an exclusive relationship with you.

And, it should go without saying that you should be taking normal precautions to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

That means testing for STDs and seeing the results, not just taking his word for it.

In fact, it’s wise to discuss these topics before you are intimate with him.

Not only is that being smart about sex it’s also about protecting yourself.

After all, you don’t know where the relationship will go.

Everything looks wonderful now.

But things do change and there’s no guarantee you’ll be together forever.

And you don’t want to be left to raise a beautiful child by yourself or left with an incurable sexual disease.

Both of those things could affect both your future and a future relationship if you were to break up.

Every new relationship takes time to develop and mature.

And some things – especially sex – shouldn’t be rushed. Because the things you do early on in a new relationship can either spoil a good thing or help it to mature into something wonderful and long term.

Avoid making him jump through hoops to date you. And don’t have sex with him until he’s made a commitment to you and you’re in an exclusive relationship.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who finds herself in any of the following circumstances:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Stephanie Berghaeuser for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Love (c) Stephanie Berghaeuser Image #1039712 freeimages.com

Why You Are Picking The Wrong Guys

“Qualify your guy.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach. why you are picking the wrong guys

Many women find that they are in a committed relationship for years and then they break up.

They wonder what they did wrong when it looked so promising at the beginning of the relationship.

One reason for the eventual breakup is that you might be dating the wrong guy(s) because….

…you’re not qualifying them.

That is the one thing you can do that can save you not only wasted years of being in an unfulfilling relationship but also heartache.

Sometimes you’re overlooking important things that you want from a relationship because you’re attracted to the guy and he makes you happy.

You might have known that you weren’t completely compatible right from the start but ignored it or thought that he’d “change” after he was with you.

That’s a perfectly natural thing to do.

When I talk about “wrong” guys that doesn’t necessarily mean they were “wrong” in the beginning.

Sometimes things change and you have no control over them.

What your guy wanted when he first met you changes over time as the relationship progresses and matures.

Here’s an example:

You meet a great guy. There’s chemistry. There’s romance.

You talk about what you both want from a relationship and you’re both in agreement.

Then, over time, he changes his mind.

Perhaps at first, for example, he wanted children like you did. But as time goes on he decides he doesn’t want children.

But you still do.

In that situation, if you really do want children then you’re no longer compatible.

Do you know what good salespeople do when they talk to a prospect or customer?

They qualify them.

They ask questions to see whether their prospects and customers would be suitable candidates for what they’re selling.

Or they find out what their prospect or customer wants so they can deliver the goods to them.

If you’ve ever bought real estate or you’ve watched shows on TV like Property Brothers you’ll know what I mean.

In Property Brothers, Drew, the real estate expert, finds out what prospective buyers are looking for and then goes out and looks for fixer upper properties that can be upgraded to have many or all of the features the prospective buyers want. Of course, he also knows what the buyers’ budget is so he can scout for suitable properties.

Traditional realtors do the same thing only they usually look for properties that already have most of the features the buyers want.

This technique – qualifying buyers – isn’t just limited to realtors.

Professional salespeople qualify their buyers all the time and a true professional will make it sound conversational instead of peppering his or her prospect or customer with question after question.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
Places To Meet Single Men | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

Your List of Relationship Non-Negotiables

Qualifying a guy means you should have a list of your non-negotiables.

Non-negotiables are those things you MUST have in a relationship.

They are what I call your “Must Haves.”

Keep that list to no more than 5 of the most important things you want out of a relationship.

Order them in importance if you want to – from most important to least important.

Remember, the longer the list of non-negotiables the harder it will be to find the guy who can satisfy ALL of your requirements.

And don’t be tied down to that list of non-negotiables.

If the man you meet has most of the things that you want in a relationship, you might be perfectly happy with that especially if your must haves are listed in importance.

Your list of non-negotiables can include such things as: a man who wants children, a man who is kind, a man who is romantic, a man who is funny, a man with similar beliefs or values, and a man who is generous.

These non-negotiables are what qualifies a guy as boyfriend material or husband potential.

How To Qualify Your Man

How do you find out if he “qualifies?”

You ask him questions and get his thoughts on things that are important to you.

I’m not suggesting you do this on the first date or two.

But in time you and your man will talk about things that are important to you both.

You might discuss having children.

You might discuss where you want to live.

You might discuss career plans.

You might discuss owning a home.

You might discuss wanting to travel.

You might discuss your dreams and hopes and plans for the future.

Also keep in mind that your relationship should be progressing towards what you want – whether it’s exclusivity or marriage.

If the guy you’re with doesn’t want children (and you do) or he doesn’t want to date exclusively (and you do) or he doesn’t want to get married (and you do) then you’re not compatible and you’re wasting your time with him.

And you have to decide whether you should stay together or break up so that you can each find someone who is more compatible.

Even when you qualify a guy, there’s no certainty that things will work out.

People’s circumstances do change and sometimes it’s beyond their control.

But at least you know there’s a better chance of compatibility and a future together if you know early on in the relationship that you both want the same thing.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Lynn Cummings for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Have A Heart 2 (c) Lynn Cummings Image #22735 freeimages.com

Dating Advice For Women: What To Avoid Doing On The First Date

what to avoid doing on the first date

“Sometimes you will do things on a first date that turn a guy off. If you know the things to avoid doing or saying, it increases your chances to get a promising relationship off on the right foot.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

One of the main purposes of online and offline dating is to attract men and eventually find the guy who is right for you.

You may have to go on several dates with a number of men until you find a guy you’re interested in or attracted to.

Your first date is very important because it could be the beginning of a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage.

It defines whether there will be other dates and whether you’ll have the opportunity to get to know the guy you’re with even better.

It’s important that you treat the first date seriously even if it later turns out that nothing comes of it.

The first date in particular can be awkward since you don’t know each other very well.

Even if you met on an online dating site and exchanged emails to get to know each other, there’s still that awkward period where you meet in person and get to know what the other person is like.

Put your best foot forward and dress for the occasion.

Look attractive.

Look sexy without going over the top.

Show respect for the guy you’re meeting by being on time.

Be enthusiastic about meeting him.

Smile and laugh.

Initiate conversation if you need to in order to avoid awkward silences.

If there is a spark or initial chemistry then there’s a excellent chance you’ll have a fun time and enjoy yourself.

But there are ways to sabotage a date without even knowing that you’re doing so.

Here are 6 tips on what to avoid doing on your first date:

1. Avoid Asking Too Many Questions

I realize you want to know everything about the guy as quickly as possible. It helps you decide whether or not he has relationship potential.

But you shouldn’t be approaching the first date as an opportunity to see whether the guy is husband potential. And you shouldn’t make him feel that way, either.

No guy likes to feel as though he’s applying for a job on a date and has to answer question after question.

Some questions, of course, are appropriate and expected.

Questions like: How long have you been single? Why did you break up? Have you been married before? How long was your last relationship?

Questions to avoid are those about his health or his finances. You’re not his doctor nor his banker. Answers to these types of questions always seem to emerge relatively quickly once you get talking to someone. So have patience and look for clues that he’s not healthy or his financial situation is disastrous – or better still that he’s strong as an ox and he’s financially sound.

Use the date to get to know him to see if there are common interests and whether he is worth getting to know better.

2. Avoid Arriving For Your Date Late

First impressions count – even in dating. Showing up late for your date can spoil an otherwise fun time especially if something specific has been planned – like an outing or a reservation has been made.

If you’re chronically late, plan to arrive early so you can ground yourself before meeting your new guy

3. Avoid Monopolizing The Conversation

Usually when getting to know a guy you want to share information back and forth.

There’s a give and take as you exchange information about each other.

You’ll want to know about his work, his hobbies, where he grew up, his education, and his family. Many or all of these things might have been covered if you met on an online dating site. (It’s usually best to keep some information in reserve so you have something to talk about when you meet.)

Don’t talk about yourself all the time. And don’t monopolize the conversation.

If you’ve got children or grandchildren don’t start pulling out their photos and gushing over them. He wants to get to know about you first.

Be sure to find out about him and then contribute your background so he knows more about you.

4. Avoid Talking About Past Relationships

Past relationships is one of the most common questions asked on a first date.

There is no bigger turnoff than talking about past failed relationships or the faults of your last ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.

Guys usually want to know the reason you’re divorced or why you broke up with your boyfriend but you don’t have to go into specific detail.

You don’t want to give the impression that you’re not in demand or that you were so wounded by your last relationship that you’d (almost) given up hope of finding someone.

A general response that things didn’t work out or that you grew apart is sufficient and much better than talking about the lying, cheating so-and-so that he was.

You don’t want to make it sound as though – or give the impression that – you’re bitter or that you hate men or that you’re emotionally cold towards men in particular after your last relationship experience.

5. Avoid Excessive Drinking

A woman who is drunk or tipsy is a turnoff to men. Not only that, it can be dangerous to her safety.

Know your limit (Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker suggests a two drink maximum, but even that might be too much for you) and keep a clear head.

Keep in mind that you don’t know this guy.

You don’t know if you can trust him and you don’t know how safe you are with him.

6. Avoid Professing Your Love Or Affection For Him

It seems strange to suggest this since it’s only a first date.

But if you’ve met each other online through an online dating service, chances are you’ve formed some “feelings” for him even before you meet him.

If he measures up to your idea of what he is like in real life, there’s a tendency to tell him how you feel about him.

To do so is a mistake.  It makes you sound needy which can turn a guy off.

Instead, play it cool.

The first date is a chance to get to know each other and to see if there is chemistry and potential compatibility.

So take it slowly. Be fun. Be playful. Be flirtatious. And have a good time.

If the first date is a success then there will be many more opportunities down the road to get closer to your guy and tell him how you feel about him.

How To Attract Men And Find Your Mr. Right

Finding the RIGHT guy isn’t easy.

And when you DO find him, you don’t want to spoil things and lose him.

But how do you determine whether he’s the guy of your dreams or a loser?

And how do you know how to keep him once you’ve been successful in catching him?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready to love one great guy then be sure to take a few minutes to check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System shows you step-by-step how to find the guy who is right for you and how to keep him.

Click the following link for more information about the Girl Gets Great Guy System and how it can help you find the guy of your dreams.

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of BEST places where great guys hang out.

How To Make Your Man Adore You

“When your man adores you he stays faithful to you and has eyes only for you. These are just a few of the many techniques you can use to make your man adore you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach how to make your man adore you

Once you’ve found a good man, it’s important to know how to melt his heart and make your man – whether he’s your boyfriend or your husband – appreciate you, love you, desire you, become “addicted” to you, and adore only you.

Being in love and having great chemistry and sizzling, hot sex aren’t the only ingredients that keep a relationship together and enduring.

There are other things that round out a relationship to create a unique bond and keep it strong year after year.

If you can master the following techniques – as well as other techniques I reveal in How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You – you have a much better chance of keeping your man happy, satisfied, and in love with you.

Your man wants someone who “gets” him – someone who knows him like no other person does.

If you “get” him and he knows it and feels it to his very core, you will form a close,unbreakable bond with him.

When your man adores you, he will feel closer to you and he will try to do things that make you happy.

Because ultimately, a man wants to make his wife or girlfriend happy. Men are “wired” that way. And he’ll go to great lengths to make a woman happy if he feels appreciated, respected, admired, and loved.

If you don’t believe me, think about what a man says when he gets involved with another woman. He says, “My wife (or girlfriend) doesn’t understand me.” And the “other woman” does. She does the things your man seeks from his relationship – the things that, if you can give them to him, will keep him happy and faithful to you.

1. Keep The Attraction Alive By Being Feminine

He was originally attracted to you because of your femininity…and probably your sexiness. After all, attraction is what makes him interested in you in the first place. Attraction is the reason he wants to get to know you better.

Even if you know how to drive a big rig or fix a car engine or swing a hammer on a construction site, he still looks for and desires your feminine and sexy side.

Show him your feminine side – whether it’s by wearing a sexy little black cocktail dress and high heels, or leather pants and high boots, or sexy lingerie.

Flirt with him. Be playful. Be sexy.

Keep the attraction alive by taking care of yourself, making sure you look attractive and smell wonderful, and wearing clothing and lingerie that accent your best features.

Maintain your grooming to a high standard. Looking comfy is one thing, looking frumpy is another thing entirely.

Eat healthy foods. Exercise. Watch your weight. Glow. Smile. Laugh. Be positive. Be affectionate.

Make him proud to have you on his arm.

Attraction isn’t all about sex and chemistry. Nor is it all about physical attraction.

There are many more elements that go into being attractive to a man and inspiring him to appreciate you and be the only woman he wants in his life.

Here are some more suggestions on what makes a man adore a woman…

2. Make Suggestions Sparingly

From time to time your man might ask you for your suggestions.

This is where you have to tread very carefully and lightly.

Because while he might want – and need – your suggestions, he might also resent or take offense when you give him suggestions (even when he has asked for your help!)

It makes no sense really, until you realize that most guys like to think they have all the answers and they know everything.

So when they ask someone for help it makes them feel inferior and feel like a failure.

For example, if your man has built his business from the ground up and he asks for your help he might feel that he has let you down and that your suggestions are a way of criticizing him.

When he asks for suggestions, tread softly. Don’t overdo it, even though you mean well. And even if he insists he wants or values your suggestions.

Above all else, don’t get caught up in the notion that you’re giving “constructive criticism.”

Criticism in any form is destructive. It can be hurtful. It can be demoralizing. It can break someone’s spirit and enthusiasm.

Instead of saying, “You’ve been doing that wrong. Do it this way” try something like…“Have you considered trying it this way to see if that gives you better results?” or “If it were me, I’d try this way.”

Of course, in any relationship or marriage it doesn’t have to be something you do or don’t do. Instead, there can be something missing.

It might be the romance. It might be the passion. It might be the lust. Or it might be something else.

Whatever it is, sometimes you just need a little guidance and new ideas to put the sizzle back and heighten the romance and passion and excitement.

After all, you came here looking for answers because there’s something that’s not right in your relationship.

If…

> You’re wondering if your man still loves you or even cares about you

> You’re feeling alone in your relationship

> You feel you’re the only one who does anything in the relationship and he’s not pulling his weight

> The romance and passion have disappeared from your relationship

> You love your man but he’s clueless about you and your wants, needs, and desires

and you want him to love you again or show more love towards you…

…then click the following link for How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You and discover how to capture and recapture your man’s heart!

After all, wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were more romance and passion, more love and caring, more touching and affection, more harmony and peace in your relationship so you feel loved and special all over again, just like it was when you and your man first met and started dating?

3.  Understand His Needs  

If you haven’t guessed it by now, your man has needs.

Some of those needs will be different from those you have.

Others will be the same.

Many of those needs will come as no surprise to you.

He needs sex and intimacy.

He needs to be loved, appreciated, and adored by you.

He needs your respect.

He needs your support so that he knows you have his back.

He needs someone who understands him.

He needs time alone in his Man Den.

He needs time to do his own thing – whether they’re hobbies or sports.

He needs time to hang out with his buddies.

His needs are very important to him.

If his needs are fulfilled he will feel satisfied and not seek them elsewhere.

4.  Treat Him Right

Treat him as though he is the most intelligent, loving, funny, loyal, and attractive man in the world.

After all, there are things about him that you admire, respect, and like about him, otherwise you would never have fallen in love with him in the first place.

Make him feel desired and wanted…the way you would want to be treated.

5. Don’t Judge Him, Stand By Him

Avoid being like a critical parent.

He doesn’t want someone to tell him when he’s done something wrong – that just makes him feel like a little boy who’s been naughty or bad.

He’s looking for a partner, someone who is by his side and who supports him.

Sometimes that can be difficult – especially if he makes silly (or even stupid) decisions.

Ultimately, though, a man wants his girlfriend or wife to be his biggest fan. He wants someone who can cheer him on and who will stick by him through thick and thin.

6. Don’t Disrespect Him

A man doesn’t want to feel disrespected.

In fact, being respected by the woman he loves is very important to him.

Respect his right to have beliefs and values that are different from yours rather than ridiculing them or scoffing at them.

Avoid looking for ways to capitalize on opportunities to belittle or humiliate or embarrass him and that make him feel small and unappreciated.

7. Make Him Feel Loved, Valued, And Appreciated

When he’s least expecting it*, go up to him or go up behind him, wrap your arms around him, give him a big hug, kiss him and tell him how much you love him and value him and appreciate him in your life.

He’ll be thrilled to hear your words of love!

(*A word of caution: This technique can be very distracting. Don’t do this when he’s concentrating on something like a computer program or game or working intently on something like a project or using power tools or fixing the car.)

There are many more techniques you can use to make your man adore you.

Keep in mind, though, that these tips are just the beginning.

By using these – and many more – techniques you’ll go a long way in keeping your man happy and true to you.

A savvy woman knows how to treat her man so he has eyes only for her.

She knows the secrets that make her man happy that she’s in his life.

She doesn’t have just one or two secrets, though.

She knows dozens and dozens of ways to love, appreciate, and excite her man and make him feel like he’s the luckiest guy in the world.

Best of all, she uses these secrets all the time in subtle ways that work like magic on her man.

If your boyfriend or husband is…

> cold

> distant

> unloving

> or has shut down and created an emotional wall

and you want him to love you again or you want him to be more loving…

…then click the following link for How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You and discover how to capture and recapture your man’s heart!

You’ll find 101 ways – the secrets savvy women know – to add more love, respect, passion, and excitement to your relationship. Plus, you’ll find ways to ignite the passion in your relationship so he desires you, wants you, and can’t live without you. (Who doesn’t want that in their relationship?)

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives relationship and dating advice to women and helps them find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Andrew C. for the beautiful roses photo in this article. Image credit: Roses (c) Andreyutzu #936341 freeimages.com

How To Respond If A Guy Phones You A Week Or Two After A Great First Date

10426927_s“Your attitude can make or break a promising relationship. In this dating advice for women article I explain your choices if a man doesn’t phone you shortly after going on a great date with you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

When you meet a great guy and you’ve had a great first (or second) date you get your hopes up.

He seems to have many of the qualities you’re looking for in a guy. He’s attractive. He’s funny and personable. He’s interesting.

You think there’s a chance of a relationship and he might even be The One.

You’re willing to make him a priority and put most of your other activities on hold to get to know him better to see if things will develop.

Trouble is, you don’t know what he’s thinking. He may still be processing the date and trying to decide whether he wants to pursue things with you.

He might want to pursue things with you but his job (or other activity) takes precedence and time gets away from him.

And even if you think he could have picked up the phone or texted you or emailed you, some guys just don’t think that way. They put things off and before you know it a week or more has gone by.

You have to remember that with the first few dates – and until you’re in an exclusive relationship with him – you are NOT his number one priority unless he has virtually no life to speak of.

The first few weeks and even months are the “getting to know you” stage.

In the meantime, he has work. He has his friends. He has his activities and hobbies. He might even have a pet like a dog that comes before you (sorry to say that, but that’s reality.)

So you have to accept that you’re not a priority in his life (at least not right now) – you’re still someone he’s getting to know.

Admittedly, if he contacts you a week or two after a date, he’s either not showing much interest or he’s not very considerate.

But it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not attracted to you and doesn’t want to get to know you better.

Why He May Not Have Contacted You

There are four possible reasons why he hasn’t contacted you after a great date. Your difficulty is trying to determine what the REAL reason is.

1. He’s a lazy dater and wants you to contact him. (This is a red flag. Don’t chase him. He’s the man and he should be chasing you. He could be egotistical and think he’s God’s gift to women and women should chase him. Or he could be lazy and doesn’t want to do the work that’s required to get to know you. Or he could be shy and be nervous about contacting you. You have to decide which of these options applies to him.)

2. He didn’t feel chemistry or a spark on the date and decides not to pursue you (There’s nothing you can do in this situation and it’s best to move on)

Sometimes a guy will say that he had a great time with you but in truth he didn’t feel any connection and while he thought you were nice he really doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you.

3. You said or did something that turned him off (Again, there’s nothing you can do so you might as well look for another guy)

You probably won’t know if you did this or what you did to turn him off, but if you’re not getting a lot of second or third dates that could be a clue you’re doing something wrong.

4. There is a legitimate reason why he hasn’t called

An emergency or crazy work schedule or time conflict fall into this category.

Although rare, sometimes there are legitimate reasons why a guy hasn’t called. Be open to the idea that this might be one of those times.

Keep this in mind: A great date – and a promising relationship – can turn into a disaster depending on how you respond to him if he does contact you a week or two after the date.

3 Choices You Face If He Takes His Time To Phone You

You have three main choices if a man you’ve just dated doesn’t phone you within a day or two after a great date:

1. You can give him a piece of your mind, show him how angry you are, and blow him off. (Definitely a mood killer and a great way to ruin any chance of a relationship)

This is usually the reaction most women will have. They had their hopes pinned on this guy and he dashes those hopes away in an instant by appearing disinterested and taking his time to call again.

Maybe he’s playing it cool and doesn’t want to appear too eager.

Maybe he’s inexperienced with dating.

Or maybe he’s not that into you.

Getting your hopes up too much and too early is especially true with online dating – you develop a rapport with a guy, seem to be getting along well, message each other frequently so that it becomes an established routine, and then he disappears for a few days or his communication with you becomes intermittent.

You begin to wonder what’s up…and you get angry with him for “standing you up.”

2. You can ignore his call and not return his calls. (It’s a surefire way to get over him and move onto the next guy if you’re absolutely certain you don’t want to get to know him better.)

This usually signifies that you’re angry at the guy and don’t want anything more to do with him.

If that’s the case, it’s time to move on.

3. You can cut him some slack and pursue things with him to see where they lead. (Best choice if you’re interested in him.)

Sometimes it turns out that it’s worth giving a guy a second chance. Keep in mind that there may be a very valid reason why he took so long to get back to you – it could be work related. Or he could have been sick, or his children could have been sick.

How would you feel, for example, if you got angry with him and gave him a piece of your mind when in fact his father was gravely ill and he had to make an emergency trip to see his father?

Or what if he’s a medical student who’s on call at all hours of the day and night and when he’s free you’re not?

You have to show understanding about his circumstances. It’s not about making excuses for him, it’s about taking a step back and seeing things through his eyes.

Until you know the facts, don’t assume that he isn’t interested. Sure, maybe he is a lazy dater. If that’s the case then at some point you’ll have to politely tell him how you like to be treated…or look for another guy.

But don’t write him off completely – at least not yet – if you’re interested in him.

If the guy is a decent guy, you’re attracted to him, and it’s worth pursuing to see if he has signs he has boyfriend potential then when he phones be sweet and keep things light and fun.

What Most Guys Expect

Most guys expect that they will be chastised if they don’t phone soon after a date. If he does phone you and you cut him some slack and show him you welcome the opportunity to get to know him better you will stand out from the majority of other women.

If you chastise him, get angry with him, argue with him, try and teach him manners, or make him feel bad for taking so long to contact you after the date, then you won’t get a second chance with him.

If you are cold towards him and start playing games or you are not understanding, then you’ve lost him. He definitely won’t pursue you.

Of course, he might be the type of guy who has you “in reserve.” In this situation, he dates other women to see if there is a connection with them.

You’re his “alternate choice” if things don’t work out with another woman. While this might not be very flattering to you, it may turn out to be to your benefit in the long run if he chooses you over other women. After all, we all choose one person over another when we decide to be in an exclusive relationship. And at this point, he’s not in a committed relationship with you so he’s free to date other women, just as you’re free to date other men.

Next time a great guy doesn’t phone you a day or two after a wonderful date and leaves you cooling your heels for a while, consider whether you want to get to know him or not.

If you do, keep it light and upbeat when he phones and see if a relationship develops. (But the next time you meet, let him know in a nice way how you prefer to be treated in the future without him thinking you’ve been sitting by the phone waiting for him to call – which is a no-no.)

The key is not to jump to conclusions until you know the facts because sometimes your assumptions can be incorrect.

If he doesn’t phone you then move on unless you decide to take the initiative to contact him…and find out once and for all whether he’s interested in spending time with you. (Be prepared for him to tell you he’s not interested. And if you do phone him and you get a cool “Oh, hi” from him, chances are he’s not that into you.)

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

 

How to Find the Best Online Dating Service

holdinghandssunsetWith so many dating sites available from which to choose it can be overwhelming when you want to know how to find the best online dating service. In fact, you might have difficulty deciding which dating service or site to use.

It’s just not a matter of which site to choose but also the features each site offers and whether they will help you in your search for a guy.

Top of your list should be whether your privacy is protected, what search methods are available, and how easy it is to contact someone.

As well, pricing should be a consideration – you don’t want to pay for services you don’t use and you don’t want to spend more than necessary since you won’t use the dating service once you’ve found a guy you’re interested in.

Plus, you don’t know how long it will take to find a great guy. Sometimes you’ll be lucky and find one almost immediately. Other times it could take weeks or even months before you find someone you’re interested in.

Here are some features to check out when considering an online dating service:

Quick and Easy Registration

Most dating sites offer free registration.

Some will allow you to communicate with other members for free – these are the true “free dating sites.”

Plenty of Fish is one free dating site that allows free contact between members.

Some sites restrict your access until you fill out questionnaires or post photos. At the time of this writing, two sites that require you to fill out a questionnaire include eHarmony and PerfectMatch.

Chemistry.com and Plenty of Fish have a questionnaire that also helps with matching but is optional to fill out.

HowAboutWe.com has a different approach to online dating. Like many other dating sites it has upgrades that allow you to read all of your messages and send unlimited messages. But its search feature is geared towards the type of date you want rather than finding a particular type of person. (It targets an important matching component – having shared interests.) Plus it also has features for couples, not just singles.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

Do Research Before Signing Up

There are many sites that do online dating reviews. Usually the reviews are unbiased.

But you should be aware that many of the owners of these review sites are compensated if you sign up or pay for a dating service.

A simple search will turn up hundreds – if not thousands – of sites for online dating.

But there are several large, well known sites including eHarmony, PerfectMatch, Chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, and Match.com.

That’s not to say they are the best online dating sites. But they do generally offer a larger pool of candidates to draw upon depending on your search criteria.

There are sites for virtually all types of interests – niche dating sites for pet owners, religion, people into alternative sex, adult dating sites, and sites for short term, long term, and casual relationships including sex and intimate encounters.

Niche sites that cater to specific interests may or may not have a large pool of members depending on their popularity and the specific interest.

Be especially careful of sites that have fake profiles and scammers. Since sites don’t ordinarily screen each member, fake profiles are easy to establish since there is no verification procedure.

Profile information – including photos – is not necessarily genuine. It can be completely false and made up to lure you into a false sense of security with the intention to steal your money.

One of the easiest ways to discover fake profiles is to check the grammar. But that’s not a foolproof method and even asking pointed questions may not help discover that someone is a scam artist. Some are consummate liars who have successfully bilked women of their money.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t use online dating services. It just means you have to use common sense and maintain a healthy skepticism until you get to know the guy better.

Use The Dating Site’s Free Trial Service

There’s no better way to learn about an online dating service than to actually use it.

If it’s a completely free service you’ll have immediate access to many of its features.

Some free sites may offer a paid upgrade but for the most part they will provide the basic services including being able to message other members without charge.

Paid sites will require payment before being able to contact other members and/or read their messages. It’s important in this case to ensure that the site contains quality profiles of guys you’d be interested in meeting.

Sometimes guys will post their profiles on both paid and free sites hoping to attract a larger number of women so you may be able to contact them on a free site if you happen to come across their profile.

Contact Options

A quality dating service will offer several messaging options including email, instant messaging, and chat.

While it’s not necessary to have a lot of messaging options, it is helpful if you’re not getting much success from one particular option alone. For example, you may not be getting much response from emailing guys but you might find better response when chatting.

Online Dating Profiles

Reading online dating profiles can be a lot of fun and even entertaining when you read some of the essays prospective boyfriends post.

But first you have to do a search that will narrow down the field. Use the online dating site’s matching criteria to begin with. Sometimes you can narrow down the search even more depending on the sophistication of the online dating site.

Most sites have at the very least geographic and age range searches – both of which are vital to your search since you’re looking for a guy who is within a certain age range and usually pretty close to where you live.

It’s best to cast a wide net to begin with and then narrow down your choices. If you’re younger you’ll probably find a pretty large pool of guys to choose from ranging in all ages.

Once you’ve narrowed your boyfriend candidates it’s time to check out the profiles. First you’ll probably skim the photos to see if anything catches your eye. Then you’ll click on specific profiles to look at personal interests and the profile essay to see what brilliant things the guy has to say to entice you to contact him – which for most online dating sites is through anonymous email.

Most sites will indicate specific areas on the profile for religion, whether he wants kids, hair color, and other personal particulars. Some will also indicate a personality type – for example whether he’s a night owl or morning person or a book worm or adventurer or supporter.

Be on the lookout for craftily disguised wording with double meanings:

“Loves his work” could mean he’s either a workaholic or has a controlling personality.

A “sensitive” guy could mean he’s a sissy or is actually sensitive.

A guy with a “sense of humor” could mean he’s a bore or he thinks he’s funny, even if he’s not.

“Looking for a best friend” could mean he really is or maybe he’s looking for a sex kitten who is into intimate encounters or a friend with benefits arrangement.

But please don’t prejudge or jump to conclusions – which could be wrong. It’s only by meeting and getting to know the guy that you will know for sure whether you like his personality and whether you’re compatible.

If you prejudge a guy before getting to know him – which many women do – you could be passing on a quality guy who would make a wonderful boyfriend or husband.

And just because he says he has particular interests that don’t align with yours doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.

You don’t have to answer questions that you think invade your privacy. Income questions are really no-one’s business but your own.

The weight questions are always tricky – you don’t want to put a great guy off but at the same time you want to be truthful. After all, there’s no point in saying you’re athletic when in fact you have a few extra pounds or you’re rubenesque. It’s usually best to be truthful in the weight category since he’s going to find out what your build is if you meet or if you post a full body photo.

One of the usual questions is whether to include a photo or not. Some sites indicate that your success in getting responses will increase by up to 10 times if you include a photo. If you’re a very attractive woman you’ll find you’ll get a lot of responses simply because guys like your photo, not because they’ve read your profile.

Obviously, people with a photo are more likely to get a response if the photo is flattering and you’re attractive. If you’re reluctant to post a photo for privacy reasons then indicate you’ll send one to those who you think you’re compatible with.

Keep in mind that if you don’t display a photo some sites will limit their functionality until you do. As well, the issue will come up once you start corresponding with guys because a photo is one of the first things they ask for.

Take a good photo with your digital camera or smartphone. Each dating site has instructions on the file format and size and how to upload photos to your profile. Unless it’s an adult oriented dating site there usually are conditions about what photos are acceptable.

Be sure to crop photos with other people in them – especially if you’re hanging off the arm of a man (even if he’s your son). Where you don’t crop photos with men in them, be sure to explain who the man is – your son, your brother-in-law, your brother, your father.

Show photos with head and full body shots as well as those that show you in your favorite activities to give the reader a sense of who you are and what you enjoy doing. Photos don’t have to be professionally done studio shots but avoid uploading blurry photos or photos where you have sunglasses on or those where you’re so far away no-one can see what you really look like.

How successful you are on an online dating service depends on several factors including quality of profile, size of membership, messaging options, how diligent you are in combing through profiles, and how proactive you are in contacting guys who interest you.

Are You Looking For Your Mr. Right?

Are you tired of being single? Are you looking for the man of your dreams?

If you’ve been searching for a great guy but you seem to always wind up with losers…

If you’re newly single and ready for love again…

If you’re divorced or widowed and you want to find a great guy…

Then check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

It will show you how to find, attract, catch, and keep a wonderful man.

And, just as importantly, it will help you decide whether he’s the man of your dreams.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

 

 

Best Online Dating Services

coupleholdinghandsOnline Dating Sites have become increasingly popular over the past decade or more.

And rightly so.

There are literally hundreds of Online Dating Sites that cater to the busy woman who wants to meet a great guy but who hasn’t got the time or inclination to go out to meet him.

There are several online dating sites that have very large memberships including PerfectMatch, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony. The advantage of these types of services is wider choice of eligible men to date and have a relationship with.

Here’s a brief overview of popular questions many women ask about online dating services and dating online.

What Is The Advantage Of Online Dating Sites?

Online dating sites are an excellent way to meet men who you would normally not meet otherwise.

Many women don’t have the time to go to bars or clubs. Others don’t want to spend the money involved with offline dating – at least initially.

And others find it intimidating to approach men before getting to know them a little better – which you can do with a dating site.

Instead, they find online dating sites to be a quick and easy way to make contact with others who have diverse or similar interests.

Most dating sites make it very easy to get started. Some, however, are more involved initially since you have to answer detailed questionnaires in order to get matches that suit your personality or criteria.

How Much Success Can I Anticipate From Dating Services?

Simply put, dating sites DO work for many women as well as men.

Millions of people visit both free and paid dating sites each day to make contact and to hookup for dates and fun activities and intimate encounters.

Most sites even provide success stories of couples who have met and gotten married. POF (Plenty of Fish) is a free dating site that includes success stories.

The key to success with a dating site is patience and being proactive. Which means you have to contact men and search profiles – almost on a daily basis. In addition, it helps your chances if you have a well written profile and attractive photo.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How Safe Are Dating Sites?

While online dating sites are generally safe, it’s still wise to follow a few guidelines to ensure your personal safety when meeting someone.

Be aware that sites don’t usually do background checks so it’s your responsibility to protect yourself from unsavory men.

Reputable sites provide a safe environment for anonymity. Your contact details and personal information are safe and with some sites you can message back and forth without revealing your email address or personal details until you’re ready to do so. As well, many sites have an option to “block” other users if they are rude or harass you. You can also report these site abusers to the site’s administrators.

Some online dating sites safety rules include: Meet in a public place. Make sure someone is aware of your date and where you will be. Never take a stranger back to your home or have him meet you at your home. And never accept an offer to be driven anywhere unless you know the person.

Most sites have detailed lists of safety rules for their members.

What Are Some of The Best Online Dating Sites?

Everyone has their own opinion on the best online dating sites. Usually they will recommend a site if they have had success.

It also depends on whether you’re looking for a free or paid site.

One of the most popular free dating sites is POF (Plenty of Fish). It offers concise profiles as well as the ability to contact men for free.

Some paid sites also allow women to contact men for free. Many, though, will allow you to post a free profile but charge for communicating with other members.

Popular paid dating sites include eHarmony, Chemistry.com, and Perfect Match.

Your best strategy is to sign up for a few sites to see what response you’re getting. Most paid dating sites will allow you to post a free profile although you usually won’t be able to contact other members unless you pay.

There are also dating sites for specific niches including pets, sports and fitness, religion, and activities.

Are Paid Sites Better Than Free Online Dating Sites?

Again, this is a matter of personal experience. There’s no guarantee that a paid site will be any better than a free site for contacting someone and making a connection or getting into a relationship.

Some free sites – particularly niche dating sites – will have a smaller number of members which makes it harder to find your True Love.

Sometimes free sites won’t have as many features as a paid site but generally if they provide a way to contact someone for free it’s worth giving a free site a try.

Some people post their profiles on both paid and free sites for better exposure.

Generally people gravitate to sites with high membership since it gives them more options and opportunity to meet someone to have a relationship with.

You should be aware that some sites have been accused of “beefing up” their membership numbers with fake profiles. And some members have more than one profile which can also distort the membership figures. Also be on the lookout for members who are scammers.

People who pay for a membership with an online dating site are definitely serious about finding someone for a relationship. But just because someone signs up for a free site doesn’t mean they’re not serious about wanting to be in a relationship.

Also be aware that some sites will email you to say that someone is interested in you or has contacted you. But in order to read the email you have to have a paid subscription. Sometimes this is a legitimate inquiry from someone who is genuinely interested in knowing more about you. And sometimes it’s a scammer who is trying to fleece you of your money.

How Do I Use An Online Dating Site To My Best Advantage?

First, create a good profile – one that is interesting and invites guys to contact you.

Include an attractive photo – or several photos.

Don’t wait for guys to contact you – even though it’s likely you’ll get a number of enquiries. Instead, do your own searches and look for guys who might interest you.

If you’re on a paid site you may have to upgrade to contact guys and initiate a conversation. Also be aware that just because you contact someone doesn’t mean you’ll get a reply.

That’s why it’s a good idea to sign up on several sites and to also pick sites with large memberships.

What Types of Online Dating Sites Are There Out There?

The internet is filled with sites that cater to all types of people who have different interests and tastes.

There are dating sites for those of the Jewish faith, sites for Single Parents, Christian dating sites, and sites that cater to scuba diving, pets, and other interests. There are also sites for those who are Big Beautiful Women and large men.

I’m Seeking A Casual Relationship Leading To A Serious Relationship. Which Dating Sites Are Good Choices?

In no particular order, you could try PerfectMatch, eHarmony, and PlentyofFish.

If you’re looking for “hookups” and one night stands or you want to make friends with someone so you have a FWB (Friend With Benefits) relationship then AdultFriendFinder.com or Passion.com are two sites to consider.

What Should I Say In My Dating Profile?

Your dating profile is an opportunity to put yourself in front of hundreds of potential men – and dates.

Hopefully it will lead to finding the man of your dreams.

It’s your task to sift through responses and profiles of eligible men before deciding to meet them for a date.

Make your profile interesting. There’s no need to give a lot of details – just enough to arouse curiosity and invite a guy to correspond with you.

A shorter profile is usually better than a long profile simply because men are scanning your profile looking to see if there are things you both have in common.

Say something about your interests and also indicate what type of guy you’re looking for. Some profiles also indicate that they won’t respond unless the guy has an update photo. Still others say they won’t respond if they don’t think there is a match – usually because they don’t find the guy attractive or because there aren’t a lot of similar interests.

Avoid saying anything about past relationships or that you’ve kissed a lot of frogs or dated a lot of losers. It puts you in a bad light and makes you look bitter.

Also avoid inviting guys to ask you anything. Instead fill out your profile as much as you can. And avoid saying that you’re just looking – it makes you look insincere in your search and many guys will think you’re a trifler or tire kicker instead of having serious dating potential.

Should I Include A Photo On My Online Dating Profile?

This is a common question that most people ask especially with online dating.

A photo will, in many cases, increase your chances of getting replies. However, sometimes it can work against you if you’re not photogenic.

It’s a good idea to add at least a couple of good photos so a guy can get a sense of who you are. Studio shots are not required – in fact they can look rather uninviting. And don’t consider using other photos like passport photos or driver’s license photos.

Head shots and full body shots are the best. If you’re interested in attracting a guy who likes boating, for example, show a shot of yourself on a sailboat or kayak or fishing boat.

Bikini, bathing suit, and beach shots can be particularly attractive to guys especially if you like to travel to warm climates and you’re looking for a guy who also likes to travel.

From your own experience you know that you’re more likely to read a profile that has a photo instead of one that doesn’t.

If you’re a very attractive woman who doesn’t want to be inundated with emails from every guy on the planet – or you value your privacy – you can indicate you’ll provide a photo only to those men you think you could have a connection with.

How Long Should I Correspond With A Guy Before Meeting Him?

This depends entirely on the connection you have with the guy and how interested you both are in meeting.

A normal progression is to correspond and then talk on the phone although there is no set rule to this.

Many times it’s better to meet in person relatively quickly since you might be falling in love with the concept of being in a loving relationship rather than being in love with the guy himself – which is impossible since you haven’t met him in person.

How Can I Weed Out The Losers and The Scammers?

No matter what you put in your profile you’ll always get people who aren’t suitable for you. Some simply wouldn’t be a match. Others are scammers trying to get your money.

Having said that, it’s always a good idea to say what type of guy you’re looking for and what interests you have that should be shared by him.

Scammers are usually easy to spot – their grammar isn’t very good, their spelling isn’t always very good, and they don’t answer your questions (or they avoid giving you a complete answer.) While poor spelling doesn’t automatically disqualify a guy, be wary of someone with poor spelling or grammar – they are red flags.

How Can I Attract A Man?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready for love, then the Girl Gets Great Guy System can help you.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is about finding the right guy for you.

It applies to both online dating and to offline dating – although it shows in detail how you can get a guy offline.

But many of the techniques and principles can be used whether you find a guy online or offline.

As well, it’s not just about finding a guy. It’s about having a relationship with a guy and deciding whether he’s the right man for you and whether you’d like to eventually marry him.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

Relationship Advice For Women – Are You Too Picky When Looking For A Great Guy?

prettyrose“Some women are so picky when looking for a guy that they miss out on a great guy. It’s not about having everything you want, it’s about having what’s important to you in a relationship.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

No relationship advice for women would be complete without asking this question:

Do you think finding and falling in love with your Mr. Right “will happen?”

That one day Mr. Right will come along?

Just like a Cinderella story…where your Prince will magically appear and you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.

If you are thinking that finding your Mr. Right will just “happen” without any effort on your part, then it’s probably time to change your mindset if you want to find a great guy.

Because chances are you’ll be waiting and waiting for Mr. Right…who won’t come along.

Having Mr. Right magically appear in your life is so rare you really can’t count on it happening.

Maybe you’ve been in bad relationships before and found they haven’t worked.

So you think to yourself that this time you’ll wait for the right guy to come along.

That you’ll stumble upon him at some chance meeting as you’re going about your daily routine.

I know how easy it is to give up when you haven’t had much – or any – luck in previous relationships.

Or where you’ve been badly hurt and you don’t want to be hurt again.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How To Find A Boyfriend

If you want to succeed in finding a great guy you have to be proactive in your search for the guy of your dreams.

You can’t just wait and let things happen.

You have to seek out your Mr. Right.

I know it makes for a great romantic movie for two people to meet by chance and instantly fall in love.

That you were destined for each other and just had to find each other – as in the movie Serendipity starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

But the reality is it’s not what usually happens in real life.

If you think Mr. Right will magically appear on your doorstep, one day you’ll wake up and find that you’re ten years older with fewer prospects for a relationship or marriage.

So what do you do?

First, you have to take the initiative in finding a guy.

Yes, you have to meet men.

Yes, you have to try online dating.

And yes, you might have to sort through a lot of men before you find the guy who makes you tingle.

Secondly, you have to change your expectations about what you want in a guy…because that may be what is holding you back from finding a great guy.

That doesn’t mean lowering your standards.

It means that you have to be more flexible in your “checklist” of desirable qualities you want in a guy in order to widen the pool of eligible guys.

This is a concept that I’ve noticed with online dating.

Are You Being Too Selective?

Here’s the problem: You’re very likely being too selective, too restrictive, and too picky when looking for “The One.”

And that could be hurting your dating and relationship life.

> Instead of restricting your search to guys taller than 5 feet 10 inches, for example, include guys who are a little shorter.

> Instead of looking for guys who are athletic, include guys who are less active.

> Instead of looking for guys with all of your interests, look for guys who have some of your interests.

> Instead of looking for guys who are a year or two older than you are, expand the age range – it opens up more prospects for you to consider. (Older men are sometimes better prospects for a relationship because they’re more established in their careers and are looking for a stable, long term relationship.)

Be open to more possibilities.

Here’s what a typical woman does, especially if she’s using online dating to find a guy…

She reads a guy’s profile on an online dating site.

And what does she find?

How about…

> The spelling isn’t quite right on a couple of words. (A big turnoff for most women. And guys, too.)

> Or the photo isn’t very flattering. (Another turnoff – for both men and women – if it’s not a good photo.)

> He’s not into the arts and she is.

> He doesn’t make a lot of money.

> He’s not into sports and she is.

> He’s not her intellectual equal because he doesn’t have a Ph.D. or at least a university education.

As she’s reading the guy’s profile she’s mentally checking off the things she doesn’t like about him.

She’s so focused looking for the qualities she wants in a man that she overlooks his good qualities.

And those good qualities could be that he’s a loving man who will make her feel cherished and valued as a woman.

He might even be a fantastic lover!

(On the other hand, she may be so focused on his photo (because he’s so good looking) that she doesn’t read his profile and doesn’t take note of his bad qualities or flaws. Her single qualification is how handsome he looks.)

Are You Prejudging Him?

But she will never find out because she’s already rejected him without even contacting him and finding out more about him.

Instead, in many cases, she’s focusing on the negatives.

You see, many times she won’t be able to find those good qualities just from reading an online dating profile.

She’s definitely found the negative things about him – or what she thinks are negative qualities.

But chances are she didn’t find many or all of his positive qualities.

She has prejudged and excluded the guy before she even gets to know him.

I see it often enough on online dating sites – a woman writes in her profile, “If I don’t respond it’s because I don’t think we’d be a good match.”

Obviously there will be guys who are not a good match right from the start.

It could be because of distance.

It could be because of his habits like smoking or alcohol or drugs.

It could be that she has so many emails from guys that she has to save time by eliminating those guys that she “thinks” aren’t suitable for her.

But how does she know she won’t be a good match with many of the men who contact her or whose profile she reads?

She hasn’t even taken the time to get to know the guy!

She’s prejudged him based on his profile.

She’s prejudged him because he wrote to her and all he said, “Hi.” (Not the greatest way to woo a woman, but let’s be realistic, some guys just aren’t that good at doing this sort of thing.)

She’s crossed him off her list without finding out more about him.

At the very least she could email him to see if there are common interests, beliefs, and values.

This isn’t about sounding harsh or being scolding because of what women do, because it isn’t.

What she’s doing is perfectly normal and understandable.

Both men and women do it all the time. Not just with online dating but also when they’re out a clubs or at parties.

She doesn’t want to waste her time with someone she doesn’t feel she’ll have a connection with.

That’s how most of us are programmed – we look for similarities and differences and while we’re reading an online dating profile we weigh and judge the person so that we can arrive at a decision about whether or not to contact them or meet them.

This can be an intense battle in your head, too, as you think to yourself what you like and don’t like about the guy’s profile.

Maybe it’s the photo.

Maybe it’s what he says in his profile.

Or maybe what he doesn’t say in his profile. (Let’s face it, many men really aren’t very good at writing online dating profiles.)

But what if that guy who is a little shorter than you like, or who doesn’t know how to spell a word or two, or who has some bizarre interest in ancient pottery, is exactly what you’ve been looking for?

What if he’s an adventurous type who can keep you fascinated with stories of his travels.

Or what if he’s a geek who’s a whiz with numbers but isn’t perfect with the King’s English…but has a lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about.

My point is that you could be skipping over good men because of how you’re “vetting” them based on their profiles alone.

Many women say there are no good men out there.

That all of the good ones are taken.

That they’ve given up hope of finding a great guy.

The truth is, there are tons of great guys out there.

Your mission is to find the one who is right for you.

How To Find A Great Guy

The challenge (and, I’ll admit, it’s a very real challenge) is to resist prejudging a guy before you get to know him.

It happens all the time and it could be hurting your chances to find a great guy.

When you’re in your 20’s it doesn’t matter as much because there’s a large pool of available guys to draw upon.

But as you get into your 30’s and 40’s – and beyond – that pool gets smaller.

The reality is that the pool of available guys shrinks more and more as you mature. The pickier you are, the less chance you have of finding the guy who is right for you.

And here’s something else…

We’d all like to think love hits like a bolt of lightening when we meet someone new.

But it doesn’t.

Love takes time to develop.

If there’s no spark and no chemistry at first then most women will move on to the next guy. (And that reaction isn’t exclusive to women because guys do the same thing.)

They feel there’s nothing there – no chance of a relationship – simply because they didn’t feel the spark.

Trouble is, they could be missing out on a terrific man.

Someone who will appreciate them and love them and care for them and have their back.

Funny thing is that you can’t tell whether a guy has those qualities you’re looking for without getting to know him.

You can’t tell from his emails.

You can’t tell from his phone calls.

You can’t tell from his text messages.

You can’t tell in a first meeting.

You can’t even tell from the first few dates!

You can’t tell what his good (and bad) qualities are without spending time with him and seeing how he interacts with you and how he treats you over time.

Spend time finding out how you feel when you’re with him.

He might be…

> The guy who looks after you when you’re sick.

> The guy who stands up for you and helps you out when you’re stressed at work.

> The guy who pitches in and cooks dinner when you come home late from work instead of sitting around watching TV or playing video games and asks what’s for dinner the moment you come through the door.

Hopefully he’s not…

x The guy who cheats on you.

x The guy who sponges off you and lets you pay all the bills.

x The guy who tries to control your life and treats you badly.

You won’t know what he’s like until you get to know him.

And that means spending time with him.

There are just as many stories about women who didn’t even like their boyfriends or husbands at first but later fell in love with them…as there are stories about falling in love with them shortly after they met them.

Sometimes the chemistry is there right from the beginning.

Other times – and more often – it takes time for the chemistry to develop as you get to know each other.

As you get to see each other’s qualities.

Next time you’re hanging around with your girlfriends and lamenting that there are no good guys, stop and think why you can’t find them – because they’re waiting to meet you if you give them the chance.

And, the next time you’re looking for a relationship and checking out guys, start including guys you wouldn’t normally date.

Add them to your “maybe” list.

Instead of recoiling with horror at the very suggestion of having to change your criteria, be open to the idea of expanding your list of possibilities.

Keep an open mind.

You might just find a hidden gem who turns out to be the guy of your dreams.

How To Attract And Meet Men

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Carlos Koblischek for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Rose (c) Carlos Koblischek Image #1421435 freeimages.com

Get Dating And Relationship Advice For Women At Girl Gets Great Guy And Find The Man Who Is Right For You.

Tired of dating losers, commitmentphobes, and players? Girl Gets Great Guy is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.

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