Dating Advice For Women: What To Avoid Doing On The First Date

June 25, 2014 by

what to avoid doing on the first date

“Sometimes you will do things on a first date that turn a guy off. If you know the things to avoid doing or saying, it increases your chances to get a promising relationship off on the right foot.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

One of the main purposes of online and offline dating is to attract men and eventually find the guy who is right for you.

You may have to go on several dates with a number of men until you find a guy you’re interested in or attracted to.

Your first date is very important because it could be the beginning of a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage.

It defines whether there will be other dates and whether you’ll have the opportunity to get to know the guy you’re with even better.

It’s important that you treat the first date seriously even if it later turns out that nothing comes of it.

The first date in particular can be awkward since you don’t know each other very well.

Even if you met on an online dating site and exchanged emails to get to know each other, there’s still that awkward period where you meet in person and get to know what the other person is like.

Put your best foot forward and dress for the occasion.

Look attractive.

Look sexy without going over the top.

Show respect for the guy you’re meeting by being on time.

Be enthusiastic about meeting him.

Smile and laugh.

Initiate conversation if you need to in order to avoid awkward silences.

If there is a spark or initial chemistry then there’s a excellent chance you’ll have a fun time and enjoy yourself.

But there are ways to sabotage a date without even knowing that you’re doing so.

Here are 6 tips on what to avoid doing on your first date:

1. Avoid Asking Too Many Questions

I realize you want to know everything about the guy as quickly as possible. It helps you decide whether or not he has relationship potential.

But you shouldn’t be approaching the first date as an opportunity to see whether the guy is husband potential. And you shouldn’t make him feel that way, either.

No guy likes to feel as though he’s applying for a job on a date and has to answer question after question.

Some questions, of course, are appropriate and expected.

Questions like: How long have you been single? Why did you break up? Have you been married before? How long was your last relationship?

Questions to avoid are those about his health or his finances. You’re not his doctor nor his banker. Answers to these types of questions always seem to emerge relatively quickly once you get talking to someone. So have patience and look for clues that he’s not healthy or his financial situation is disastrous – or better still that he’s strong as an ox and he’s financially sound.

Use the date to get to know him to see if there are common interests and whether he is worth getting to know better.

2. Avoid Arriving For Your Date Late

First impressions count – even in dating. Showing up late for your date can spoil an otherwise fun time especially if something specific has been planned – like an outing or a reservation has been made.

If you’re chronically late, plan to arrive early so you can ground yourself before meeting your new guy

3. Avoid Monopolizing The Conversation

Usually when getting to know a guy you want to share information back and forth.

There’s a give and take as you exchange information about each other.

You’ll want to know about his work, his hobbies, where he grew up, his education, and his family. Many or all of these things might have been covered if you met on an online dating site. (It’s usually best to keep some information in reserve so you have something to talk about when you meet.)

Don’t talk about yourself all the time. And don’t monopolize the conversation.

If you’ve got children or grandchildren don’t start pulling out their photos and gushing over them. He wants to get to know about you first.

Be sure to find out about him and then contribute your background so he knows more about you.

4. Avoid Talking About Past Relationships

Past relationships is one of the most common questions asked on a first date.

There is no bigger turnoff than talking about past failed relationships or the faults of your last ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.

Guys usually want to know the reason you’re divorced or why you broke up with your boyfriend but you don’t have to go into specific detail.

You don’t want to give the impression that you’re not in demand or that you were so wounded by your last relationship that you’d (almost) given up hope of finding someone.

A general response that things didn’t work out or that you grew apart is sufficient and much better than talking about the lying, cheating so-and-so that he was.

You don’t want to make it sound as though – or give the impression that – you’re bitter or that you hate men or that you’re emotionally cold towards men in particular after your last relationship experience.

5. Avoid Excessive Drinking

A woman who is drunk or tipsy is a turnoff to men. Not only that, it can be dangerous to her safety.

Know your limit (Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker suggests a two drink maximum, but even that might be too much for you) and keep a clear head.

Keep in mind that you don’t know this guy.

You don’t know if you can trust him and you don’t know how safe you are with him.

6. Avoid Professing Your Love Or Affection For Him

It seems strange to suggest this since it’s only a first date.

But if you’ve met each other online through an online dating service, chances are you’ve formed some “feelings” for him even before you meet him.

If he measures up to your idea of what he is like in real life, there’s a tendency to tell him how you feel about him.

To do so is a mistake.  It makes you sound needy which can turn a guy off.

Instead, play it cool.

The first date is a chance to get to know each other and to see if there is chemistry and potential compatibility.

So take it slowly. Be fun. Be playful. Be flirtatious. And have a good time.

If the first date is a success then there will be many more opportunities down the road to get closer to your guy and tell him how you feel about him.

How To Attract Men And Find Your Mr. Right

Finding the RIGHT guy isn’t easy.

And when you DO find him, you don’t want to spoil things and lose him.

But how do you determine whether he’s the guy of your dreams or a loser?

And how do you know how to keep him once you’ve been successful in catching him?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready to love one great guy then be sure to take a few minutes to check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System shows you step-by-step how to find the guy who is right for you and how to keep him.

Click the following link for more information about the Girl Gets Great Guy System and how it can help you find the guy of your dreams.

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of BEST places where great guys hang out.

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: ,

How To Attract A Man

June 24, 2014 by

“Sometimes the problem isn’t about being able to attract a man. It’s about being approachable so the RIGHT man can get to know you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coachhow to attract a man

Knowing how to attract a man is a common problem many women have.

Surprisingly, attracting men isn’t really that hard to do.

Often the problem is not about knowing how to attract men.

It’s knowing how to attract a man who is right for you.

It’s knowing how to attract a great guy who you’d like to have a relationship with…and perhaps even marry down the road if things work out.

First, examine why you find it hard to attract a man because it might be something that you’re doing and you don’t even realize it.

Are You Finding It Difficult To Attract A Man?

When you say you can’t attract men you might mean that men don’t approach you.

If that’s the case then you need to think about WHY men don’t approach you.

It could be that you’re so attractive that men automatically think you’re unavailable.

As well, you should also consider whether you’re approachable.

If you hang out with a lot of guys or friends, then a guy who is interested in you won’t approach you because he’s intimidated. He wants to approach you when you’re alone, not when you’re with a friend or a group of friends.

Do you find that men don’t speak to you in a way that signals that they are interested in you?

If that’s the case, then you might be Friend Zoned – and that can be a difficult situation to break out of.

Usually, being Friend Zoned occurs when guys see you as one of them – not as an attractive woman…even though you are.

It might be the way you dress. It might be the way you speak. It might be the things you do that are masculine instead of feminine.

You might ride dirt bikes with the best of them.

You might fix cars and drive hot rods.

You might drive a 4×4 truck and go muddin’ in the back roads.

You might like going hunting and fishing with the guys.

If you’re doing things just like one of the boys, then guys usually won’t see you as a romantic interest but rather as a buddy.

It doesn’t mean you stop doing the things you love or stop hanging out with the guys.

It just means you have to be feminine and show to the guys you hang out with that you’re an attractive woman.

And finally, do you find you don’t know what to say when you meet a guy who you’re interested in?

Being tongue tied isn’t all that unusual – especially when you see an attractive man. If you’re tongue tied it hinders your ability to approach the guy and start a conversation – and that can lead to missed opportunities.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

 

Turnoffs That Don’t Attract A Man

While it’s always good to know how to attract a man, you should also know some things that repel a man.

These are things he finds unattractive in a woman.

For example….

1. A woman who is needy or desperate is a huge turnoff to a man.

This is the woman who is too eager. She has no mystery. Everything is an open book – which is not necessarily a bad thing but it’s as though she wants an instant romance or love affair so she can be in a relationship.

This is the type of woman who needs a man in her life – either because she’s at that age where she wants to be married and have children or she’s insecure and needs a male presence in her life.

A guy might not know it from looking at her but once he’s talked to her for a while he’ll sense her desperation for wanting to have a man in her life.

(The secret? The needy woman has to be more independent but still be feminine.)

2. A woman who is too independent repels men.

This is the very opposite of a needy woman.

This can sometimes be the woman who says, “I’m attractive and I have a nice personality. And yet, men don’t approach me or ask me out on dates.”

The independent woman shows her masculine side.

She wears “masculine” clothes (like business suits or pant suits) or works in an industry or has a career that pits her against men all the time.

She’s proud of the fact that she can take care of herself and hold her own against men.

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Trouble is, men want a woman who is feminine.

A woman who shows her feminine side.

A woman who dresses up in a sexy dress and high heels.

A woman who takes care of her hair and makeup.

That’s what attracts a man to a woman and what turns him on.

Not only that, men want to feel useful.

They want to feel that they can take care of a woman and please her.

The independent woman doesn’t show her femininity nor does she allow men to help her which is a BIG mistake.

(The secret? The independent woman has to switch off her “masculine” side and switch on her “feminine” side.)

3. Being a drama queen is unattractive to men.

Guys really don’t like drama at all.

They prefer a woman who is cool under pressure and remains positive and fun to be with.

The woman who complains about the smallest things or creates a scene or makes a fuss will find herself very quickly without a man.

(The secret? The drama queen has to chill out, remain cool, and not let things bother her.)

For the top 5 turnoffs for men you’re invited to download my FREE Dating Mistakes Special Report here.

Three Things You Can Do If You Want To Attract A Man

 

 1. Make Yourself Approachable

Men look for signs before approaching a woman.

If she’s at a club with her friends most men are intimidated to approach a woman who they are attracted to.

If a woman is sitting alone a man is more likely to approach her.

But just being approachable isn’t always enough.

You might have to encourage a guy to approach you.

If you see someone you like or you’re interested in, look at him and smile at him.

This is a signal to him that you’re interested in him. (And hopefully he’ll take the hint and introduce himself.)

 2. Build Your Confidence

Have you ever seen a confident woman around men? She talks. She flirts. She laughs. She has men hanging practically on her every word.

What makes this type of woman so confident around men is that she knows what to do and say.

And it’s that confidence that’s attractive to men – and attracts men to her.

Of course, some women are naturals when it comes to being confident. They know what to do to attract men.

They’ve learned their flirting skills.

They know what works and what doesn’t work.

If you feel unsure about your flirting skills then you have to develop them.

That involves learning how to approach men instead of waiting for them to approach you.

That means you also have to develop conversational skills.

 3. Build Your Conversational Skills

Have you ever noticed that when you see a cute or attractive guy, you get tongue tied and you can’t think of a thing to talk about?

For many women, that’s perfectly normal.

The quickest and easiest way to overcome being tongue tied is to talk to men all the time – whether or not you’re attracted to them.

Talk to them in grocery stores, in lineups, at the bank, at the coffee shop. Make small talk just to get things started.

Talk about the weather. Talk about the items on the menu. Talk about something that strikes you as funny.

This gets you into the habit of being approachable and interesting because you’ve taken the initiative to start a conversation.

Then, when you do see an attractive guy you’re interested in you’ll be able to start a conversation quickly and easily and see where it goes from there.

In the Girl Gets Great Guy System, I talk about how to be approachable in greater depth because it’s one of the most important skills to have when you’re trying to attract the right man for you.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.

It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get The Guy

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives relationship and dating advice to women and helps them find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Marcelo Silva for the beautiful photo in this article. Image credit: Sunset Graceosa Beach (c) Marcelo Silva #1384968 freeimages.com

 

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With:

How to Find the Best Online Dating Service

October 26, 2013 by

holdinghandssunsetWith so many dating sites available from which to choose it can be overwhelming when you want to know how to find the best online dating service. In fact, you might have difficulty deciding which dating service or site to use.

It’s just not a matter of which site to choose but also the features each site offers and whether they will help you in your search for a guy.

Top of your list should be whether your privacy is protected, what search methods are available, and how easy it is to contact someone.

As well, pricing should be a consideration – you don’t want to pay for services you don’t use and you don’t want to spend more than necessary since you won’t use the dating service once you’ve found a guy you’re interested in.

Plus, you don’t know how long it will take to find a great guy. Sometimes you’ll be lucky and find one almost immediately. Other times it could take weeks or even months before you find someone you’re interested in.

Here are some features to check out when considering an online dating service:

Quick and Easy Registration

Most dating sites offer free registration.

Some will allow you to communicate with other members for free – these are the true “free dating sites.”

Plenty of Fish is one free dating site that allows free contact between members.

Some sites restrict your access until you fill out questionnaires or post photos. At the time of this writing, two sites that require you to fill out a questionnaire include eHarmony and PerfectMatch.

Chemistry.com and Plenty of Fish have a questionnaire that also helps with matching but is optional to fill out.

HowAboutWe.com has a different approach to online dating. Like many other dating sites it has upgrades that allow you to read all of your messages and send unlimited messages. But its search feature is geared towards the type of date you want rather than finding a particular type of person. (It targets an important matching component – having shared interests.) Plus it also has features for couples, not just singles.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

Do Research Before Signing Up

There are many sites that do online dating reviews. Usually the reviews are unbiased.

But you should be aware that many of the owners of these review sites are compensated if you sign up or pay for a dating service.

A simple search will turn up hundreds – if not thousands – of sites for online dating.

But there are several large, well known sites including eHarmony, PerfectMatch, Chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, and Match.com.

That’s not to say they are the best online dating sites. But they do generally offer a larger pool of candidates to draw upon depending on your search criteria.

There are sites for virtually all types of interests – niche dating sites for pet owners, religion, people into alternative sex, adult dating sites, and sites for short term, long term, and casual relationships including sex and intimate encounters.

Niche sites that cater to specific interests may or may not have a large pool of members depending on their popularity and the specific interest.

Be especially careful of sites that have fake profiles and scammers. Since sites don’t ordinarily screen each member, fake profiles are easy to establish since there is no verification procedure.

Profile information – including photos – is not necessarily genuine. It can be completely false and made up to lure you into a false sense of security with the intention to steal your money.

One of the easiest ways to discover fake profiles is to check the grammar. But that’s not a foolproof method and even asking pointed questions may not help discover that someone is a scam artist. Some are consummate liars who have successfully bilked women of their money.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t use online dating services. It just means you have to use common sense and maintain a healthy skepticism until you get to know the guy better.

Use The Dating Site’s Free Trial Service

There’s no better way to learn about an online dating service than to actually use it.

If it’s a completely free service you’ll have immediate access to many of its features.

Some free sites may offer a paid upgrade but for the most part they will provide the basic services including being able to message other members without charge.

Paid sites will require payment before being able to contact other members and/or read their messages. It’s important in this case to ensure that the site contains quality profiles of guys you’d be interested in meeting.

Sometimes guys will post their profiles on both paid and free sites hoping to attract a larger number of women so you may be able to contact them on a free site if you happen to come across their profile.

Contact Options

A quality dating service will offer several messaging options including email, instant messaging, and chat.

While it’s not necessary to have a lot of messaging options, it is helpful if you’re not getting much success from one particular option alone. For example, you may not be getting much response from emailing guys but you might find better response when chatting.

Online Dating Profiles

Reading online dating profiles can be a lot of fun and even entertaining when you read some of the essays prospective boyfriends post.

But first you have to do a search that will narrow down the field. Use the online dating site’s matching criteria to begin with. Sometimes you can narrow down the search even more depending on the sophistication of the online dating site.

Most sites have at the very least geographic and age range searches – both of which are vital to your search since you’re looking for a guy who is within a certain age range and usually pretty close to where you live.

It’s best to cast a wide net to begin with and then narrow down your choices. If you’re younger you’ll probably find a pretty large pool of guys to choose from ranging in all ages.

Once you’ve narrowed your boyfriend candidates it’s time to check out the profiles. First you’ll probably skim the photos to see if anything catches your eye. Then you’ll click on specific profiles to look at personal interests and the profile essay to see what brilliant things the guy has to say to entice you to contact him – which for most online dating sites is through anonymous email.

Most sites will indicate specific areas on the profile for religion, whether he wants kids, hair color, and other personal particulars. Some will also indicate a personality type – for example whether he’s a night owl or morning person or a book worm or adventurer or supporter.

Be on the lookout for craftily disguised wording with double meanings:

“Loves his work” could mean he’s either a workaholic or has a controlling personality.

A “sensitive” guy could mean he’s a sissy or is actually sensitive.

A guy with a “sense of humor” could mean he’s a bore or he thinks he’s funny, even if he’s not.

“Looking for a best friend” could mean he really is or maybe he’s looking for a sex kitten who is into intimate encounters or a friend with benefits arrangement.

But please don’t prejudge or jump to conclusions – which could be wrong. It’s only by meeting and getting to know the guy that you will know for sure whether you like his personality and whether you’re compatible.

If you prejudge a guy before getting to know him – which many women do – you could be passing on a quality guy who would make a wonderful boyfriend or husband.

And just because he says he has particular interests that don’t align with yours doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.

You don’t have to answer questions that you think invade your privacy. Income questions are really no-one’s business but your own.

The weight questions are always tricky – you don’t want to put a great guy off but at the same time you want to be truthful. After all, there’s no point in saying you’re athletic when in fact you have a few extra pounds or you’re rubenesque. It’s usually best to be truthful in the weight category since he’s going to find out what your build is if you meet or if you post a full body photo.

One of the usual questions is whether to include a photo or not. Some sites indicate that your success in getting responses will increase by up to 10 times if you include a photo. If you’re a very attractive woman you’ll find you’ll get a lot of responses simply because guys like your photo, not because they’ve read your profile.

Obviously, people with a photo are more likely to get a response if the photo is flattering and you’re attractive. If you’re reluctant to post a photo for privacy reasons then indicate you’ll send one to those who you think you’re compatible with.

Keep in mind that if you don’t display a photo some sites will limit their functionality until you do. As well, the issue will come up once you start corresponding with guys because a photo is one of the first things they ask for.

Take a good photo with your digital camera or smartphone. Each dating site has instructions on the file format and size and how to upload photos to your profile. Unless it’s an adult oriented dating site there usually are conditions about what photos are acceptable.

Be sure to crop photos with other people in them – especially if you’re hanging off the arm of a man (even if he’s your son). Where you don’t crop photos with men in them, be sure to explain who the man is – your son, your brother-in-law, your brother, your father.

Show photos with head and full body shots as well as those that show you in your favorite activities to give the reader a sense of who you are and what you enjoy doing. Photos don’t have to be professionally done studio shots but avoid uploading blurry photos or photos where you have sunglasses on or those where you’re so far away no-one can see what you really look like.

How successful you are on an online dating service depends on several factors including quality of profile, size of membership, messaging options, how diligent you are in combing through profiles, and how proactive you are in contacting guys who interest you.

Are You Looking For Your Mr. Right?

Are you tired of being single? Are you looking for the man of your dreams?

If you’ve been searching for a great guy but you seem to always wind up with losers…

If you’re newly single and ready for love again…

If you’re divorced or widowed and you want to find a great guy…

Then check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

It will show you how to find, attract, catch, and keep a wonderful man.

And, just as importantly, it will help you decide whether he’s the man of your dreams.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

 

 

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , , ,

Best Online Dating Services

October 24, 2013 by

coupleholdinghandsOnline Dating Sites have become increasingly popular over the past decade or more.

And rightly so.

There are literally hundreds of Online Dating Sites that cater to the busy woman who wants to meet a great guy but who hasn’t got the time or inclination to go out to meet him.

There are several online dating sites that have very large memberships including PerfectMatch, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony. The advantage of these types of services is wider choice of eligible men to date and have a relationship with.

Here’s a brief overview of popular questions many women ask about online dating services and dating online.

What Is The Advantage Of Online Dating Sites?

Online dating sites are an excellent way to meet men who you would normally not meet otherwise.

Many women don’t have the time to go to bars or clubs. Others don’t want to spend the money involved with offline dating – at least initially.

And others find it intimidating to approach men before getting to know them a little better – which you can do with a dating site.

Instead, they find online dating sites to be a quick and easy way to make contact with others who have diverse or similar interests.

Most dating sites make it very easy to get started. Some, however, are more involved initially since you have to answer detailed questionnaires in order to get matches that suit your personality or criteria.

How Much Success Can I Anticipate From Dating Services?

Simply put, dating sites DO work for many women as well as men.

Millions of people visit both free and paid dating sites each day to make contact and to hookup for dates and fun activities and intimate encounters.

Most sites even provide success stories of couples who have met and gotten married. POF (Plenty of Fish) is a free dating site that includes success stories.

The key to success with a dating site is patience and being proactive. Which means you have to contact men and search profiles – almost on a daily basis. In addition, it helps your chances if you have a well written profile and attractive photo.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How Safe Are Dating Sites?

While online dating sites are generally safe, it’s still wise to follow a few guidelines to ensure your personal safety when meeting someone.

Be aware that sites don’t usually do background checks so it’s your responsibility to protect yourself from unsavory men.

Reputable sites provide a safe environment for anonymity. Your contact details and personal information are safe and with some sites you can message back and forth without revealing your email address or personal details until you’re ready to do so. As well, many sites have an option to “block” other users if they are rude or harass you. You can also report these site abusers to the site’s administrators.

Some online dating sites safety rules include: Meet in a public place. Make sure someone is aware of your date and where you will be. Never take a stranger back to your home or have him meet you at your home. And never accept an offer to be driven anywhere unless you know the person.

Most sites have detailed lists of safety rules for their members.

What Are Some of The Best Online Dating Sites?

Everyone has their own opinion on the best online dating sites. Usually they will recommend a site if they have had success.

It also depends on whether you’re looking for a free or paid site.

One of the most popular free dating sites is POF (Plenty of Fish). It offers concise profiles as well as the ability to contact men for free.

Some paid sites also allow women to contact men for free. Many, though, will allow you to post a free profile but charge for communicating with other members.

Popular paid dating sites include eHarmony, Chemistry.com, and Perfect Match.

Your best strategy is to sign up for a few sites to see what response you’re getting. Most paid dating sites will allow you to post a free profile although you usually won’t be able to contact other members unless you pay.

There are also dating sites for specific niches including pets, sports and fitness, religion, and activities.

Are Paid Sites Better Than Free Online Dating Sites?

Again, this is a matter of personal experience. There’s no guarantee that a paid site will be any better than a free site for contacting someone and making a connection or getting into a relationship.

Some free sites – particularly niche dating sites – will have a smaller number of members which makes it harder to find your True Love.

Sometimes free sites won’t have as many features as a paid site but generally if they provide a way to contact someone for free it’s worth giving a free site a try.

Some people post their profiles on both paid and free sites for better exposure.

Generally people gravitate to sites with high membership since it gives them more options and opportunity to meet someone to have a relationship with.

You should be aware that some sites have been accused of “beefing up” their membership numbers with fake profiles. And some members have more than one profile which can also distort the membership figures. Also be on the lookout for members who are scammers.

People who pay for a membership with an online dating site are definitely serious about finding someone for a relationship. But just because someone signs up for a free site doesn’t mean they’re not serious about wanting to be in a relationship.

Also be aware that some sites will email you to say that someone is interested in you or has contacted you. But in order to read the email you have to have a paid subscription. Sometimes this is a legitimate inquiry from someone who is genuinely interested in knowing more about you. And sometimes it’s a scammer who is trying to fleece you of your money.

How Do I Use An Online Dating Site To My Best Advantage?

First, create a good profile – one that is interesting and invites guys to contact you.

Include an attractive photo – or several photos.

Don’t wait for guys to contact you – even though it’s likely you’ll get a number of enquiries. Instead, do your own searches and look for guys who might interest you.

If you’re on a paid site you may have to upgrade to contact guys and initiate a conversation. Also be aware that just because you contact someone doesn’t mean you’ll get a reply.

That’s why it’s a good idea to sign up on several sites and to also pick sites with large memberships.

What Types of Online Dating Sites Are There Out There?

The internet is filled with sites that cater to all types of people who have different interests and tastes.

There are dating sites for those of the Jewish faith, sites for Single Parents, Christian dating sites, and sites that cater to scuba diving, pets, and other interests. There are also sites for those who are Big Beautiful Women and large men.

I’m Seeking A Casual Relationship Leading To A Serious Relationship. Which Dating Sites Are Good Choices?

In no particular order, you could try PerfectMatch, eHarmony, and PlentyofFish.

If you’re looking for “hookups” and one night stands or you want to make friends with someone so you have a FWB (Friend With Benefits) relationship then AdultFriendFinder.com or Passion.com are two sites to consider.

What Should I Say In My Dating Profile?

Your dating profile is an opportunity to put yourself in front of hundreds of potential men – and dates.

Hopefully it will lead to finding the man of your dreams.

It’s your task to sift through responses and profiles of eligible men before deciding to meet them for a date.

Make your profile interesting. There’s no need to give a lot of details – just enough to arouse curiosity and invite a guy to correspond with you.

A shorter profile is usually better than a long profile simply because men are scanning your profile looking to see if there are things you both have in common.

Say something about your interests and also indicate what type of guy you’re looking for. Some profiles also indicate that they won’t respond unless the guy has an update photo. Still others say they won’t respond if they don’t think there is a match – usually because they don’t find the guy attractive or because there aren’t a lot of similar interests.

Avoid saying anything about past relationships or that you’ve kissed a lot of frogs or dated a lot of losers. It puts you in a bad light and makes you look bitter.

Also avoid inviting guys to ask you anything. Instead fill out your profile as much as you can. And avoid saying that you’re just looking – it makes you look insincere in your search and many guys will think you’re a trifler or tire kicker instead of having serious dating potential.

Should I Include A Photo On My Online Dating Profile?

This is a common question that most people ask especially with online dating.

A photo will, in many cases, increase your chances of getting replies. However, sometimes it can work against you if you’re not photogenic.

It’s a good idea to add at least a couple of good photos so a guy can get a sense of who you are. Studio shots are not required – in fact they can look rather uninviting. And don’t consider using other photos like passport photos or driver’s license photos.

Head shots and full body shots are the best. If you’re interested in attracting a guy who likes boating, for example, show a shot of yourself on a sailboat or kayak or fishing boat.

Bikini, bathing suit, and beach shots can be particularly attractive to guys especially if you like to travel to warm climates and you’re looking for a guy who also likes to travel.

From your own experience you know that you’re more likely to read a profile that has a photo instead of one that doesn’t.

If you’re a very attractive woman who doesn’t want to be inundated with emails from every guy on the planet – or you value your privacy – you can indicate you’ll provide a photo only to those men you think you could have a connection with.

How Long Should I Correspond With A Guy Before Meeting Him?

This depends entirely on the connection you have with the guy and how interested you both are in meeting.

A normal progression is to correspond and then talk on the phone although there is no set rule to this.

Many times it’s better to meet in person relatively quickly since you might be falling in love with the concept of being in a loving relationship rather than being in love with the guy himself – which is impossible since you haven’t met him in person.

How Can I Weed Out The Losers and The Scammers?

No matter what you put in your profile you’ll always get people who aren’t suitable for you. Some simply wouldn’t be a match. Others are scammers trying to get your money.

Having said that, it’s always a good idea to say what type of guy you’re looking for and what interests you have that should be shared by him.

Scammers are usually easy to spot – their grammar isn’t very good, their spelling isn’t always very good, and they don’t answer your questions (or they avoid giving you a complete answer.) While poor spelling doesn’t automatically disqualify a guy, be wary of someone with poor spelling or grammar – they are red flags.

How Can I Attract A Man?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready for love, then the Girl Gets Great Guy System can help you.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is about finding the right guy for you.

It applies to both online dating and to offline dating – although it shows in detail how you can get a guy offline.

But many of the techniques and principles can be used whether you find a guy online or offline.

As well, it’s not just about finding a guy. It’s about having a relationship with a guy and deciding whether he’s the right man for you and whether you’d like to eventually marry him.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , , ,

Relationship Advice For Women – Are You Too Picky When Looking For A Great Guy?

July 16, 2013 by

prettyrose“Some women are so picky when looking for a guy that they miss out on a great guy. It’s not about having everything you want, it’s about having what’s important to you in a relationship.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

No relationship advice for women would be complete without asking this question:

Do you think finding and falling in love with your Mr. Right “will happen?”

That one day Mr. Right will come along?

Just like a Cinderella story…where your Prince will magically appear and you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.

If you are thinking that finding your Mr. Right will just “happen” without any effort on your part, then it’s probably time to change your mindset if you want to find a great guy.

Because chances are you’ll be waiting and waiting for Mr. Right…who won’t come along.

Having Mr. Right magically appear in your life is so rare you really can’t count on it happening.

Maybe you’ve been in bad relationships before and found they haven’t worked.

So you think to yourself that this time you’ll wait for the right guy to come along.

That you’ll stumble upon him at some chance meeting as you’re going about your daily routine.

I know how easy it is to give up when you haven’t had much – or any – luck in previous relationships.

Or where you’ve been badly hurt and you don’t want to be hurt again.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How To Find A Boyfriend

If you want to succeed in finding a great guy you have to be proactive in your search for the guy of your dreams.

You can’t just wait and let things happen.

You have to seek out your Mr. Right.

I know it makes for a great romantic movie for two people to meet by chance and instantly fall in love.

That you were destined for each other and just had to find each other – as in the movie Serendipity starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

But the reality is it’s not what usually happens in real life.

If you think Mr. Right will magically appear on your doorstep, one day you’ll wake up and find that you’re ten years older with fewer prospects for a relationship or marriage.

So what do you do?

First, you have to take the initiative in finding a guy.

Yes, you have to meet men.

Yes, you have to try online dating.

And yes, you might have to sort through a lot of men before you find the guy who makes you tingle.

Secondly, you have to change your expectations about what you want in a guy…because that may be what is holding you back from finding a great guy.

That doesn’t mean lowering your standards.

It means that you have to be more flexible in your “checklist” of desirable qualities you want in a guy in order to widen the pool of eligible guys.

This is a concept that I’ve noticed with online dating.

Are You Being Too Selective?

Here’s the problem: You’re very likely being too selective, too restrictive, and too picky when looking for “The One.”

And that could be hurting your dating and relationship life.

> Instead of restricting your search to guys taller than 5 feet 10 inches, for example, include guys who are a little shorter.

> Instead of looking for guys who are athletic, include guys who are less active.

> Instead of looking for guys with all of your interests, look for guys who have some of your interests.

> Instead of looking for guys who are a year or two older than you are, expand the age range – it opens up more prospects for you to consider. (Older men are sometimes better prospects for a relationship because they’re more established in their careers and are looking for a stable, long term relationship.)

Be open to more possibilities.

Here’s what a typical woman does, especially if she’s using online dating to find a guy…

She reads a guy’s profile on an online dating site.

And what does she find?

How about…

> The spelling isn’t quite right on a couple of words. (A big turnoff for most women. And guys, too.)

> Or the photo isn’t very flattering. (Another turnoff – for both men and women – if it’s not a good photo.)

> He’s not into the arts and she is.

> He doesn’t make a lot of money.

> He’s not into sports and she is.

> He’s not her intellectual equal because he doesn’t have a Ph.D. or at least a university education.

As she’s reading the guy’s profile she’s mentally checking off the things she doesn’t like about him.

She’s so focused looking for the qualities she wants in a man that she overlooks his good qualities.

And those good qualities could be that he’s a loving man who will make her feel cherished and valued as a woman.

He might even be a fantastic lover!

(On the other hand, she may be so focused on his photo (because he’s so good looking) that she doesn’t read his profile and doesn’t take note of his bad qualities or flaws. Her single qualification is how handsome he looks.)

Are You Prejudging Him?

But she will never find out because she’s already rejected him without even contacting him and finding out more about him.

Instead, in many cases, she’s focusing on the negatives.

You see, many times she won’t be able to find those good qualities just from reading an online dating profile.

She’s definitely found the negative things about him – or what she thinks are negative qualities.

But chances are she didn’t find many or all of his positive qualities.

She has prejudged and excluded the guy before she even gets to know him.

I see it often enough on online dating sites – a woman writes in her profile, “If I don’t respond it’s because I don’t think we’d be a good match.”

Obviously there will be guys who are not a good match right from the start.

It could be because of distance.

It could be because of his habits like smoking or alcohol or drugs.

It could be that she has so many emails from guys that she has to save time by eliminating those guys that she “thinks” aren’t suitable for her.

But how does she know she won’t be a good match with many of the men who contact her or whose profile she reads?

She hasn’t even taken the time to get to know the guy!

She’s prejudged him based on his profile.

She’s prejudged him because he wrote to her and all he said, “Hi.” (Not the greatest way to woo a woman, but let’s be realistic, some guys just aren’t that good at doing this sort of thing.)

She’s crossed him off her list without finding out more about him.

At the very least she could email him to see if there are common interests, beliefs, and values.

This isn’t about sounding harsh or being scolding because of what women do, because it isn’t.

What she’s doing is perfectly normal and understandable.

Both men and women do it all the time. Not just with online dating but also when they’re out a clubs or at parties.

She doesn’t want to waste her time with someone she doesn’t feel she’ll have a connection with.

That’s how most of us are programmed – we look for similarities and differences and while we’re reading an online dating profile we weigh and judge the person so that we can arrive at a decision about whether or not to contact them or meet them.

This can be an intense battle in your head, too, as you think to yourself what you like and don’t like about the guy’s profile.

Maybe it’s the photo.

Maybe it’s what he says in his profile.

Or maybe what he doesn’t say in his profile. (Let’s face it, many men really aren’t very good at writing online dating profiles.)

But what if that guy who is a little shorter than you like, or who doesn’t know how to spell a word or two, or who has some bizarre interest in ancient pottery, is exactly what you’ve been looking for?

What if he’s an adventurous type who can keep you fascinated with stories of his travels.

Or what if he’s a geek who’s a whiz with numbers but isn’t perfect with the King’s English…but has a lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about.

My point is that you could be skipping over good men because of how you’re “vetting” them based on their profiles alone.

Many women say there are no good men out there.

That all of the good ones are taken.

That they’ve given up hope of finding a great guy.

The truth is, there are tons of great guys out there.

Your mission is to find the one who is right for you.

How To Find A Great Guy

The challenge (and, I’ll admit, it’s a very real challenge) is to resist prejudging a guy before you get to know him.

It happens all the time and it could be hurting your chances to find a great guy.

When you’re in your 20’s it doesn’t matter as much because there’s a large pool of available guys to draw upon.

But as you get into your 30’s and 40’s – and beyond – that pool gets smaller.

The reality is that the pool of available guys shrinks more and more as you mature. The pickier you are, the less chance you have of finding the guy who is right for you.

And here’s something else…

We’d all like to think love hits like a bolt of lightening when we meet someone new.

But it doesn’t.

Love takes time to develop.

If there’s no spark and no chemistry at first then most women will move on to the next guy. (And that reaction isn’t exclusive to women because guys do the same thing.)

They feel there’s nothing there – no chance of a relationship – simply because they didn’t feel the spark.

Trouble is, they could be missing out on a terrific man.

Someone who will appreciate them and love them and care for them and have their back.

Funny thing is that you can’t tell whether a guy has those qualities you’re looking for without getting to know him.

You can’t tell from his emails.

You can’t tell from his phone calls.

You can’t tell from his text messages.

You can’t tell in a first meeting.

You can’t even tell from the first few dates!

You can’t tell what his good (and bad) qualities are without spending time with him and seeing how he interacts with you and how he treats you over time.

Spend time finding out how you feel when you’re with him.

He might be…

> The guy who looks after you when you’re sick.

> The guy who stands up for you and helps you out when you’re stressed at work.

> The guy who pitches in and cooks dinner when you come home late from work instead of sitting around watching TV or playing video games and asks what’s for dinner the moment you come through the door.

Hopefully he’s not…

x The guy who cheats on you.

x The guy who sponges off you and lets you pay all the bills.

x The guy who tries to control your life and treats you badly.

You won’t know what he’s like until you get to know him.

And that means spending time with him.

There are just as many stories about women who didn’t even like their boyfriends or husbands at first but later fell in love with them…as there are stories about falling in love with them shortly after they met them.

Sometimes the chemistry is there right from the beginning.

Other times – and more often – it takes time for the chemistry to develop as you get to know each other.

As you get to see each other’s qualities.

Next time you’re hanging around with your girlfriends and lamenting that there are no good guys, stop and think why you can’t find them – because they’re waiting to meet you if you give them the chance.

And, the next time you’re looking for a relationship and checking out guys, start including guys you wouldn’t normally date.

Add them to your “maybe” list.

Instead of recoiling with horror at the very suggestion of having to change your criteria, be open to the idea of expanding your list of possibilities.

Keep an open mind.

You might just find a hidden gem who turns out to be the guy of your dreams.

How To Attract And Meet Men

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Carlos Koblischek for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Rose (c) Carlos Koblischek Image #1421435 freeimages.com Photo by carloszk on Freeimages.com

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: ,
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