“How to keep him interested is a common question women ask about men, especially if they are afraid of losing him. Here are 16 Fail-Safe Ways that work whether or not you’ve found a keeper.” Blaine Barrington, Dating Coach
Whether you meet a new man or you’ve been dating for a while or you’re now in a monogamous relationship the question invariably arises how to keep him interested.
It’s no secret that a man can lose interest and disappear. After all, with online dating and social media there’s so much choice out there that a guy can move on quickly and not give you a second thought.
Ultimately, though, you’re probably asking the question because of one of the following…
1. You’re afraid to lose him
2. You had sex with him too soon
3. His behavior and feelings towards you have changed
4. Something has changed in the relationship – things aren’t as fresh, new, and exciting as they used to be (the thrill has gone)
5. You feel insecure – he hasn’t made a commitment and you’re not sure where you stand with him
6. You’ve found a great guy and you want things to work out because you’re tired of dating losers, players, and commitmentphobes
There are ways to keep a guy interested in you without playing games or manipulation.
Sometimes it’s about the chase that keeps a guy pursuing you.
But what if you’re already in a relationship?
What do you do to keep a guy so that he has eyes only for you?
There’s nothing worse than thinking he’s losing interest and looking elsewhere.
It can be frightening to think that you might lose him, especially if you’re in love with him and you’ve invested time and energy to make things work – which you will have if you’ve fallen in love.
You want things to work out.
You want him to be happy.
And you want him to make you happy.
It doesn’t matter what type of relationship you’re in – whether it’s a new, you’re dating, or you’re a couple – there are ways that work as long as you’re compatible and he’s still interested in you.
How To Keep Him Interested – 16 Fail-Safe Ways That Work [Checklist]
1. Be Slightly Mysterious and Intriguing
Want to know how to drive your guy crazy and keep him thinking about you?
Add some mystery to your life.
It keeps him off balance and curious about who you are.
This is the way to keep a guy wanting more of you.
In the beginning when you’ve met a new guy you don’t have to tell him your life story.
You’re not an “open book” in the sense that he knows all about you within a couple of weeks or months.
It takes time to get to fully know someone. But if he knows all about you so quickly he might think you’re “boring” and move on.
In the early stages of a relationship he wants to get to know you.
He wants to know what you’re like as a person and as a woman.
That intrigues him because he’s assessing whether you’re “The One” for him.
He wants to find out if you’re the woman he can’t live without.
You get to know someone over time.
You hang out together.
You do things together.
You socialize with each other’s friends and family.
You create experiences and make memories together.
And little by little you get to know each other.
You get to understand how he interacts with other people who are close to him.
You get to know his preferences and quirks…just as he gets to know yours.
This is the time when you discover whether you’re compatible with each other.
This is when you find out if your lives can blend and whether the relationship will last over the long term.
2. Take Care Of His Sexual Needs
While it’s not the most important element of a relationship, sex is usually very important at the beginning or when you’re dating someone new.
Sex is important to most men. It’s the driving force if he’s attracted to you. It’s what keeps him chasing you – the “thrill of the chase” so he can win your prize.
Men have sexual needs just like you do. And a sexually happy man is much more likely to stay invested in the relationship rather than looking for someone else or exploring an open relationship or marriage.
When a man suggests an “open marriage or relationship” it could mean he’s not satisfied with the sex.
That’s why it’s important to keep him interested sexually, too.
A man wants a lover.
But sometimes you have to be the sexy sex kitten or sultry vixen, too.
Sometimes he wants a woman who is adventurous in bed so things don’t get boring.
Use sex and affection to keep him happy in bed and show your love, desire, and appreciation for him as a man.
For a man, one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to sex.
There are different sexual turn ons and turn offs, depending on the man.
Some men are turned on by what you do. For example, you get ready for work but then go back to bed to snuggle with him or kiss him or tempt him.
Others are turned on by how you look after a gym workout.
Still others are turned on when you talk dirty to them.
Keep the sexual tension alive by being flirtatious and sassy.
Know how to touch him.
Know how to turn him on.
Know what he likes.
Know how to keep him happy in bed.
Be adventurous as long as it’s not painful, either emotionally or physically (and it’s legal).
Keep in mind that it’s not all about him. Your sexual needs have to be met, too.
Let him know what you like.
Men like to think they’re pretty good in bed and they know what they’re doing.
Truth is, most men don’t know their way around the female body and have little idea how to please a woman.
So if you have to “teach” him things or where to touch, do so in a way that doesn’t bruise his ego or make him feel inadequate or inexperienced.
Be adventurous in the bedroom. Put fun into your lovemaking. That might mean acting out fantasies, role playing, or trying new things.
Be open to experimenting with or suggesting new things in a safe environment as long as you both are in agreement.
Mix things up and suggest new ideas.
Transform your bedroom into a “love nest” so it’s conducive to lovemaking without distractions like a TV.
Surprise him with new lingerie or fun things to do or experiment with to excite him (and you).
How To Make Him Chase You After You’ve Slept With Him
One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make is having sex too soon with a man.
It should be more than a couple of weeks or a couple of dates before you sleep with him. Because chances are that if you have sex with him too early you’ll not only wonder how to keep him interested but you’ll also find he starts pulling away or distancing himself from you.
Don’t be misled into thinking that by having sex with a guy when you don’t know him very well he’ll bond with you and stay with you. Sex is sex to a man, not a bonding experience.
For some men – especially players – it’s the conquest that counts. After that they lose interest and then they move on.
What if you’ve become his booty call?
A booty call should be on your terms, not his. You don’t just jump at his command. You’re in control. You have the power.
Here’s what to do if you’ve had sex with him and he’s starting to pull away:
Make your time together exciting (in and out of the bedroom).
Give him positive and amazing experiences when he’s with you and make him realize what a catch you really are.
You want him to miss you and you want him to want to see more of you.
You want to avoid making sex the only reason he wants to see you.
That means doing exciting and fun things outside of the bedroom.
This is the way you get him thinking about you and wanting more of being with you.
After all, who doesn’t want to be with a sexy woman who is fun to be with?
Tease him playfully and challenge him. You’re going to kick his butt at a video game or at a game of pool or at tennis or other sport.
Alternatively, ask him to join you in something that’s fun. Maybe it’s to try out a burger joint you know has awesome burgers. Maybe it’s a steak house. Or a pizza joint. Maybe it’s a BBQ. Maybe it’s a fair. Maybe it’s surfing or sailboarding or jet skiing.
If he says no or makes excuses not to hang out with you then he shouldn’t be your priority because he’s not making you his priority.
Do you see what’s happening here? You’re in control. Instead of you chasing him, you’re encouraging him to chase you.
You don’t have to cut him loose completely if he’s not showing interest but reduce your interactions with him. Pursue your own interests instead of focusing on him.
When you do hang out with him continue to make those experiences awesome but dial back or eliminate the sex.
He’ll start to realize that sex with you isn’t something that he’s automatically entitled to.
Either he’s going to pursue you because he’s interested in you or he’ll move on – in which case you look for a quality man who will make you his priority and woo you and treat you the way you want to be treated.
3. Maintain Your Style And The Way You Look
Grooming is very important. You want to smell good and look good for your man.
Men like to be proud of the woman on their arm.
They want her to look attractive.
If he lusts after you chances are he’ll find you attractive even if your hair is unkempt or you’re wearing sweats or yoga pants.
But he may be extremely attracted to you when you’re wearing your LBD, high heels, and makeup.
You don’t have to be “arm candy” to make a man proud of you.
He’s attracted to you for many reasons.
One of those reasons will be the way you look.
It might be the way you dress. It might be the way you wear your hair. It might be your curves. It might be your fashion sense.
It might even be the way you move, how you toss your hair, or how you coyly look at him.
Whatever it is (and the best way to find out is to observe his reaction to things you do and what he compliments you on), it’s something that you want to highlight – and maintain – because that attracts him to you and only you.
And that’s the whole point – you want him to be interested in you and not other women.
Most men want their woman to be fit and healthy.
Exercise. Even walking can help you lose weight and feel fit, invigorated, and put you in a good mood.
4. Be Fun To Be With
Most guys are looking for a woman who they can do fun things with.
They’re not usually looking for a woman who is a couch potato or whose biggest adventure is to go to the spa or to the salon and have a manicure or pedicure or facial.
A guy wants to do things. He wants to get out and about. He might want to play sports. He might want to travel. He might want to participate in a hobby.
He might want to go bungy jumping or sky diving or do extreme sports or go rock climbing or mountain biking or scuba diving.
That doesn’t mean you have to always participate in these things unless you like the adrenaline rush the way he does.
But you can support him in his interests.
The worst thing you can do is not support him in his interests because those are important to him. They validate him as a man. There’s nothing worse than complaining you never see him or discouraging him from doing the things he wants to do or likes to do.
Being fun can apply to the little things, too. You can try different foods. You can go on small trips or weekend getaways. You can go hiking or kayaking or fishing or crabbing or camping or quadding.
Many guys are looking for a woman who isn’t afraid to get a little dirt under her fingernails and yet is also able to clean up and look stunning in a little black dress and high heels.
Be open to trying new things with him – it shows your interest in having experiences with him and getting to know him better. Best of all, it bonds him to you because you’re fun to be with.
Being fun also applies to the bedroom. Create an atmosphere that excites and thrills him. That can include new techniques, acting out fantasies, or having special theme nights and dressing up.
5. Be Adventurous
Being fun to be with can also include being adventurous.
If you’ve ever watched The Bachelor or Bachelorette on TV you’ll know this to be true: There’s a correlation between adrenaline and attraction.
When Jake Pavelka was the Bachelor he took Vienna bungy jumping. The very fact that they were scared about what they were going to do drew them closer together and attracted him even more to her.
Men like a woman who’s adventurous. Doing extreme sports, in particular, like mountain biking or rock climbing, or bungee jumping or sky diving are adrenaline rushes. And doing them with their partner can bond a man closely to his woman.
In fact, a study showed that there’s a direct effect between adrenaline and arousal. Being involved with your guy in sports or hobbies that are exciting and get the adrenaline pumping can cause him to find you more attractive and arouse him.
Of course, you don’t have to participate in bungee jumping or sky diving. It could be some other adventure like going on a roller coaster or going on a water slide or hang gliding or hiking up a volcano or dirt biking or scuba diving or sailing or going on a safari, or river tubing or white water rafting.
Sometimes all it takes is to be fun to be with. Someone to laugh with. Someone who enjoys the simple things in life like strolling in the park or sightseeing or people watching while eating an ice cream cone or going to a restaurant or pub with friends.
6. Give Him His Freedom
Men like their freedom.
Your man doesn’t like to feel that you’re keeping tabs on his every move.
He wants to do his own thing.
And he expects that you will want to do your own thing, too.
In the early stages of a relationship you might be calling or texting him a lot. And he may be doing that, too.
But don’t freak out when he doesn’t respond to you instantly.
And don’t freak out when he doesn’t call you back right away.
If you do, it makes you look clingy and needy. And men don’t like that in a woman. They begin to feel closed in and pressured to be “on call” all the time, and that takes the fun out of the relationship.
Follow your own pursuits and passions. Don’t have your whole life revolve around him. Otherwise he’ll feel stifled and that’s a sure way to lose a guy.
Create a relationship where your man wants to be with you rather than wanting to escape from you because he feels confined when he’s with you.
7. Show Your Appreciation For The Things He Does For You
If there’s one way to differentiate yourself from other women it’s this: Show your man that you appreciate him.
Show him that you appreciate what he brings to the relationship and the things he does for you – even if it’s something small or even insignificant to you.
He brings you a coffee. He fixes something for you.
Of course many of these things you can do yourself. But when he feels he’s helping and you thank him for that you’ll earn extra points in his eyes – even if he’s done something small for you.
If you want to know how to keep a guy interested because you’re afraid you’ll lose him, then showing your appreciation can go a long way to keeping him.
Many men thrive on praise. And they thrive on doing things for their woman that earns that praise.
If you don’t believe me, try it sometime. Thank him for doing something for you and see how his chest puffs out and how his mood changes.
Praise works wonders on a man.
There’s another side to keeping him interested. And that’s being different from other women he’s dated or been in a relationship with. You have to differentiate yourself from them in some way. And that way is to appreciate him and show your appreciation.
8. Don’t Be A Drama Queen
Men hate drama.
They don’t like scenes.
They don’t like small things blown out of proportion.
They don’t like to be the one to have to calm things down over something that is minor or insignificant.
In fact, a drama queen is a turn off.
Instead, they like someone who can go with the flow.
A woman who is “chill.”
A woman who accepts things without making a big deal about them.
A woman who can laugh or shrug something off.
It’s one thing to freak out over seeing a huge spider or a mouse or a snake.
It’s a totally different thing when you dump on him and make him feel like an ass because he was ten minutes late picking you up for a date or he didn’t text you back because he was busy at work.
Or when you create a scene at the restaurant because the waiter made a mistake with your order.
Or you make him feel bad and criticize him for selecting a restaurant that you don’t like (when he thought he was doing the right thing and showing you a good time.)
9. Don’t Overinvest In The Relationship Until He Commits
Many women complain that they’re the only one in the relationship who is trying to make it work.
Usually, when a man isn’t trying very hard to make things work, it means he hasn’t made a commitment to you.
In fact, he could be multi-dating and you’re just “one of many.”
Commitment is a tricky issue because it’s difficult to know when there is commitment unless it’s talked about.
When you first meet someone there is NO commitment.
It’s merely the beginning stages of dating to see if there is a connection.
When you start dating a guy – either steadily or occasionally – there isn’t necessarily any commitment until you’ve both agreed you’re a couple and you won’t date anyone else.
Just because you think you’re in a committed relationship doesn’t mean he thinks the same way.
Some men will never commit because it makes them feel tied down – and freedom is important to a man.
If the man you’re dating or in a relationship with isn’t making a commitment then it’s wise to protect your heart because he just might break it.
Multi-dating is the perfect way to ensure you protect your heart.
Some women prefer to date one man at a time. Others don’t believe in multi-dating at all.
When you multi-date you arouse his competitive nature which makes him chase you.
A prime example of lack of commitment is the “booty call.”
This is the guy who phones or texts you late at night to “see what you’re up to.”
And then he either wants to come over or have you come over to his place.
There is NO commitment in this case. He’s using you for his own sexual pleasure.
When you succumb to a “booty call” you’re giving him the freedom to selfishly do as he pleases without making a commitment to you – and that’s the exact opposite of giving him freedom in a committed, monogamous relationship.
10. Make Him Work To Win Your Heart
By their very nature men are hunters.
They enjoy the thrill of the chase.
Men are also driven to accomplish things.
They’re focused on winning.
And you’re the prize to win.
So it makes sense to make a man work to win your heart and your treasure.
If you fall for him too quickly and he doesn’t have to put any effort into wooing you, or you have sex with him too early and his curiosity is satisfied, then you’ve taken away the incentive for him to get to know you better and to win you over.
This isn’t about playing games with him or frustrating him. If you do that, you’ll lose him for sure.
But if you playfully tease him and entice him and encourage him, you’ll keep him chasing you and coming back for more – which is exactly what you want, isn’t it?
11. Don’t “One Up” Him
Maybe you’ve traveled more than he has.
Maybe you make more money than he does.
Maybe you’ve had a raise or a recent promotion and he’s stuck in a dead end job and he’s feeling discouraged.
Sometimes you reveal these things in an attempt to bond with him – especially when you’re just getting to know a guy.
Trouble is, revealing these things in the early stages can have the very opposite effect of bonding with him.
You can lose a guy quickly if he thinks you’re “better” than he is or if he doesn’t feel he’s in the same league as you.
It’s a guy thing and an ego thing. But you still have to be aware of how a man thinks if you want him to stick around.
Ultimately, a man likes to think that his partner is his equal, not his superior.
12. Be Playful
Even if you’re the serious type, do things that are playful.
Tease him playfully.
Do something out of the ordinary that surprises him (in a good way).
For example, if he’s teasing you or flirting with you, turn around as playfully scratch his chest with your fingernail.
13. Text Him
Texts are the perfect way to keep connected and are how to keep a guy thinking about you when you’re apart.
While it’s a good idea to limit how many texts you to send him while you’re apart, an occasional text to let him know you’re thinking of him will keep you on his mind.
Keep your texts short. And don’t overdo it. Otherwise your texts become a nuisance.
If you have something planned for the day or evening there’s nothing wrong with being playful, seductive, flirty…and sexy.
14. Be Interesting
If you have your own interests and hobbies and pursuits it makes you much more interesting.
You have things to talk to him about.
You have things that he might be interested in doing with you.
You might do things that he can relate to.
If you’re interested in online games, for example, he might be into that too.
Shared interests can bond you closer to each other.
The key is that you become more interesting to him because you have your own life and you don’t depend on him.
And you become more fun to be with because you have experiences to talk about and share with him.
15. Highlight Your Compatibility With Him
A guy might be losing interest because he’s worried that you aren’t compatible with him.
A relationship is only going to be successful if there’s compatibility. Not just in one or two areas but in many areas.
The more areas you’re compatible in, the better.
If you and your man are only compatible because you both like to hike or go sailing, for example, chances are it won’t be enough to bond you together in the long term.
But if you have many things in common – your beliefs and values are the same, you have similar ideas about finances and raising children, you have similar religious beliefs, you enjoy doing some (or many) things together, and so forth – then highlight those common things in a subtle way when you’re with him.
Being compatible doesn’t mean you have to be joined at the hip all the time. What it does mean is that while you both have your own passions and interests, you can also share common interests and enjoy doing them together. That increases the odds of staying together.
Those compatibilities will come out in the things you do together as well as the things you talk about. You can use this to your advantage by simply commenting on how you both enjoy the same things or have similar viewpoints.
When you and your guy are in agreement with the things you talk about or you say things like, “This is fun to do with you” or “We think a lot alike, don’t we?” it plants the seed in his mind that you both get along well together.
Also keep in mind that while you may be trying to keep him interested in you, you should also be determining whether there really is compatibility that makes him “The One” for you in the long term. You may find, in time, that there are things about him that you don’t like and decide he’s not for you.
16. How To Keep Him Hooked: Show Him How Important He Is To You
If you keep him interested, you’ll also want to keep him hooked. Here are fourteen things to get a guy hooked when you’re in a relationship with him…
1. Be kind. Avoid saying hurtful things to him.
2. Be thoughtful and considerate.
3. Be non-judgmental and loyal.
4. Stand by him. Have his back – be his “ride-or-die” chick (not in the literal sense) who is in it for the long term and who is willing to accept the good and the bad.
5. Make him feel wanted and desired. Don’t take him for granted.
6. Don’t put him down or belittle him or embarrass him in front of his friends, family, colleagues, or strangers.
7. Don’t tell him what to do. (Men resent bossiness.)
8. Don’t try to change him. (Men resent that, too.)
9. Know how to please him – inside and outside of the bedroom. Be affectionate. It keeps him coming back for more.
10. Appreciate him and show your appreciation with compliments and actions.
11. Praise him and compliment him – even for the little things he does for you.
12. Be positive. Find joy in your own life. Avoid complaining or being negative.
13. Make him feel needed. If you’re so independent that you don’t need him, he will look elsewhere because men are “wired” to help women.
14. Make him feel energized and better about himself when he’s with you.
It’s easy for a guy to break up or disappear if you were someone who wasn’t kind and considerate and who thought only of yourself.
On the other hand, you’ll definitely stand out if you’re kind, fun to be with, show your loyalty and affection, make him realize you’re a good catch, and make him feel like he’s the only man in the world worthy of your love.
How To Keep Him Interested – Secrets Savvy Women Use
If you’ve found a really great guy and you want things to develop further, the checklist above is just the start.
Whether you want him to chase you or you want the relationship to develop and flourish over time, these sixteen ways are just the tip of the iceberg.
There are many more techniques that savvy women use to keep a man interested.
Imagine waving a magic wand that keeps your man interested in you and makes him more attentive, more affectionate, more loving, and more caring.
> You’re wondering if your man still loves you or even cares about you
> The romance and passion have disappeared
> You feel unloved and unappreciated
> You’re worried the spark has gone and that he might be thinking of finding someone else or cheating on you
…then discover how to inspire your man to love, cherish, appreciate and adore you, including…
>> How to rock your man’s world in the bedroom
>> The secrets to an amazing relationship – 23 powerful ideas that nurture your relationship and help it grow with each passing year
>> The savvy woman’s technique for getting a man to do what she wants without nagging or chastising or becoming frustrated
>> The quickest way to melt his heart and inspire him to adore you
>> The weird trick to get him to appreciate you so he never takes you for granted again (Works amazingly well when you set the stage)
>> The secrets to keeping your man close so he doesn’t pull away or look elsewhere for love and affection
>> 7 easy, but amazingly powerful, ways to bond and connect with him so he appreciates having you in his life every day
Click The Following Link To Discover How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You
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