Dating Advice For Women: What To Avoid Doing On The First Date

June 25, 2014 by

what to avoid doing on the first date

“Sometimes you will do things on a first date that turn a guy off. If you know the things to avoid doing or saying, it increases your chances to get a promising relationship off on the right foot.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

One of the main purposes of online and offline dating is to attract men and eventually find the guy who is right for you.

You may have to go on several dates with a number of men until you find a guy you’re interested in or attracted to.

Your first date is very important because it could be the beginning of a long term relationship that eventually leads to marriage.

It defines whether there will be other dates and whether you’ll have the opportunity to get to know the guy you’re with even better.

It’s important that you treat the first date seriously even if it later turns out that nothing comes of it.

The first date in particular can be awkward since you don’t know each other very well.

Even if you met on an online dating site and exchanged emails to get to know each other, there’s still that awkward period where you meet in person and get to know what the other person is like.

Put your best foot forward and dress for the occasion.

Look attractive.

Look sexy without going over the top.

Show respect for the guy you’re meeting by being on time.

Be enthusiastic about meeting him.

Smile and laugh.

Initiate conversation if you need to in order to avoid awkward silences.

If there is a spark or initial chemistry then there’s a excellent chance you’ll have a fun time and enjoy yourself.

But there are ways to sabotage a date without even knowing that you’re doing so.

Here are 6 tips on what to avoid doing on your first date:

1. Avoid Asking Too Many Questions

I realize you want to know everything about the guy as quickly as possible. It helps you decide whether or not he has relationship potential.

But you shouldn’t be approaching the first date as an opportunity to see whether the guy is husband potential. And you shouldn’t make him feel that way, either.

No guy likes to feel as though he’s applying for a job on a date and has to answer question after question.

Some questions, of course, are appropriate and expected.

Questions like: How long have you been single? Why did you break up? Have you been married before? How long was your last relationship?

Questions to avoid are those about his health or his finances. You’re not his doctor nor his banker. Answers to these types of questions always seem to emerge relatively quickly once you get talking to someone. So have patience and look for clues that he’s not healthy or his financial situation is disastrous – or better still that he’s strong as an ox and he’s financially sound.

Use the date to get to know him to see if there are common interests and whether he is worth getting to know better.

2. Avoid Arriving For Your Date Late

First impressions count – even in dating. Showing up late for your date can spoil an otherwise fun time especially if something specific has been planned – like an outing or a reservation has been made.

If you’re chronically late, plan to arrive early so you can ground yourself before meeting your new guy

3. Avoid Monopolizing The Conversation

Usually when getting to know a guy you want to share information back and forth.

There’s a give and take as you exchange information about each other.

You’ll want to know about his work, his hobbies, where he grew up, his education, and his family. Many or all of these things might have been covered if you met on an online dating site. (It’s usually best to keep some information in reserve so you have something to talk about when you meet.)

Don’t talk about yourself all the time. And don’t monopolize the conversation.

If you’ve got children or grandchildren don’t start pulling out their photos and gushing over them. He wants to get to know about you first.

Be sure to find out about him and then contribute your background so he knows more about you.

4. Avoid Talking About Past Relationships

Past relationships is one of the most common questions asked on a first date.

There is no bigger turnoff than talking about past failed relationships or the faults of your last ex-boyfriend or ex-husband.

Guys usually want to know the reason you’re divorced or why you broke up with your boyfriend but you don’t have to go into specific detail.

You don’t want to give the impression that you’re not in demand or that you were so wounded by your last relationship that you’d (almost) given up hope of finding someone.

A general response that things didn’t work out or that you grew apart is sufficient and much better than talking about the lying, cheating so-and-so that he was.

You don’t want to make it sound as though – or give the impression that – you’re bitter or that you hate men or that you’re emotionally cold towards men in particular after your last relationship experience.

5. Avoid Excessive Drinking

A woman who is drunk or tipsy is a turnoff to men. Not only that, it can be dangerous to her safety.

Know your limit (Patti Stanger of Millionaire Matchmaker suggests a two drink maximum, but even that might be too much for you) and keep a clear head.

Keep in mind that you don’t know this guy.

You don’t know if you can trust him and you don’t know how safe you are with him.

6. Avoid Professing Your Love Or Affection For Him

It seems strange to suggest this since it’s only a first date.

But if you’ve met each other online through an online dating service, chances are you’ve formed some “feelings” for him even before you meet him.

If he measures up to your idea of what he is like in real life, there’s a tendency to tell him how you feel about him.

To do so is a mistake.  It makes you sound needy which can turn a guy off.

Instead, play it cool.

The first date is a chance to get to know each other and to see if there is chemistry and potential compatibility.

So take it slowly. Be fun. Be playful. Be flirtatious. And have a good time.

If the first date is a success then there will be many more opportunities down the road to get closer to your guy and tell him how you feel about him.

How To Attract Men And Find Your Mr. Right

Finding the RIGHT guy isn’t easy.

And when you DO find him, you don’t want to spoil things and lose him.

But how do you determine whether he’s the guy of your dreams or a loser?

And how do you know how to keep him once you’ve been successful in catching him?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready to love one great guy then be sure to take a few minutes to check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System shows you step-by-step how to find the guy who is right for you and how to keep him.

Click the following link for more information about the Girl Gets Great Guy System and how it can help you find the guy of your dreams.

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of BEST places where great guys hang out.

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: ,

How To Make Your Man Adore You

June 24, 2014 by
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“When your man adores you he stays faithful to you and has eyes only for you. These are just a few of the many techniques you can use to make your man adore you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach how to make your man adore you

Once you’ve found a good man, it’s important to know how to melt his heart and make your man – whether he’s your boyfriend or your husband – appreciate you, love you, desire you, become “addicted” to you, and adore only you.

Being in love and having great chemistry and sizzling, hot sex aren’t the only ingredients that keep a relationship together and enduring.

There are other things that round out a relationship to create a unique bond and keep it strong year after year.

If you can master the following techniques – as well as other techniques I reveal in How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You – you have a much better chance of keeping your man happy, satisfied, and in love with you.

Your man wants someone who “gets” him – someone who knows him like no other person does.

If you “get” him and he knows it and feels it to his very core, you will form a close,unbreakable bond with him.

When your man adores you, he will feel closer to you and he will try to do things that make you happy.

Because ultimately, a man wants to make his wife or girlfriend happy. Men are “wired” that way. And he’ll go to great lengths to make a woman happy if he feels appreciated, respected, admired, and loved.

If you don’t believe me, think about what a man says when he gets involved with another woman. He says, “My wife (or girlfriend) doesn’t understand me.” And the “other woman” does. She does the things your man seeks from his relationship – the things that, if you can give them to him, will keep him happy and faithful to you.

1. Keep The Attraction Alive By Being Feminine

He was originally attracted to you because of your femininity…and probably your sexiness. After all, attraction is what makes him interested in you in the first place. Attraction is the reason he wants to get to know you better.

Even if you know how to drive a big rig or fix a car engine or swing a hammer on a construction site, he still looks for and desires your feminine and sexy side.

Show him your feminine side – whether it’s by wearing a sexy little black cocktail dress and high heels, or leather pants and high boots, or sexy lingerie.

Flirt with him. Be playful. Be sexy.

Keep the attraction alive by taking care of yourself, making sure you look attractive and smell wonderful, and wearing clothing and lingerie that accent your best features.

Maintain your grooming to a high standard. Looking comfy is one thing, looking frumpy is another thing entirely.

Eat healthy foods. Exercise. Watch your weight. Glow. Smile. Laugh. Be positive. Be affectionate.

Make him proud to have you on his arm.

Attraction isn’t all about sex and chemistry. Nor is it all about physical attraction.

There are many more elements that go into being attractive to a man and inspiring him to appreciate you and be the only woman he wants in his life.

Here are some more suggestions on what makes a man adore a woman…

2. Make Suggestions Sparingly

From time to time your man might ask you for your suggestions.

This is where you have to tread very carefully and lightly.

Because while he might want – and need – your suggestions, he might also resent or take offense when you give him suggestions (even when he has asked for your help!)

It makes no sense really, until you realize that most guys like to think they have all the answers and they know everything.

So when they ask someone for help it makes them feel inferior and feel like a failure.

For example, if your man has built his business from the ground up and he asks for your help he might feel that he has let you down and that your suggestions are a way of criticizing him.

When he asks for suggestions, tread softly. Don’t overdo it, even though you mean well. And even if he insists he wants or values your suggestions.

Above all else, don’t get caught up in the notion that you’re giving “constructive criticism.”

Criticism in any form is destructive. It can be hurtful. It can be demoralizing. It can break someone’s spirit and enthusiasm.

Instead of saying, “You’ve been doing that wrong. Do it this way” try something like…“Have you considered trying it this way to see if that gives you better results?” or “If it were me, I’d try this way.”

Of course, in any relationship or marriage it doesn’t have to be something you do or don’t do. Instead, there can be something missing.

It might be the romance. It might be the passion. It might be the lust. Or it might be something else.

Whatever it is, sometimes you just need a little guidance and new ideas to put the sizzle back and heighten the romance and passion and excitement.

After all, you came here looking for answers because there’s something that’s not right in your relationship.

If…

> You’re wondering if your man still loves you or even cares about you

> You’re feeling alone in your relationship

> You feel you’re the only one who does anything in the relationship and he’s not pulling his weight

> The romance and passion have disappeared from your relationship

> You love your man but he’s clueless about you and your wants, needs, and desires

and you want him to love you again or show more love towards you…

…then click the following link for How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You and discover how to capture and recapture your man’s heart!

After all, wouldn’t it be wonderful if there were more romance and passion, more love and caring, more touching and affection, more harmony and peace in your relationship so you feel loved and special all over again, just like it was when you and your man first met and started dating?

3.  Understand His Needs  

If you haven’t guessed it by now, your man has needs.

Some of those needs will be different from those you have.

Others will be the same.

Many of those needs will come as no surprise to you.

He needs sex and intimacy.

He needs to be loved, appreciated, and adored by you.

He needs your respect.

He needs your support so that he knows you have his back.

He needs someone who understands him.

He needs time alone in his Man Den.

He needs time to do his own thing – whether they’re hobbies or sports.

He needs time to hang out with his buddies.

His needs are very important to him.

If his needs are fulfilled he will feel satisfied and not seek them elsewhere.

4.  Treat Him Right

Treat him as though he is the most intelligent, loving, funny, loyal, and attractive man in the world.

After all, there are things about him that you admire, respect, and like about him, otherwise you would never have fallen in love with him in the first place.

Make him feel desired and wanted…the way you would want to be treated.

5. Don’t Judge Him, Stand By Him

Avoid being like a critical parent.

He doesn’t want someone to tell him when he’s done something wrong – that just makes him feel like a little boy who’s been naughty or bad.

He’s looking for a partner, someone who is by his side and who supports him.

Sometimes that can be difficult – especially if he makes silly (or even stupid) decisions.

Ultimately, though, a man wants his girlfriend or wife to be his biggest fan. He wants someone who can cheer him on and who will stick by him through thick and thin.

6. Don’t Disrespect Him

A man doesn’t want to feel disrespected.

In fact, being respected by the woman he loves is very important to him.

Respect his right to have beliefs and values that are different from yours rather than ridiculing them or scoffing at them.

Avoid looking for ways to capitalize on opportunities to belittle or humiliate or embarrass him and that make him feel small and unappreciated.

7. Make Him Feel Loved, Valued, And Appreciated

When he’s least expecting it*, go up to him or go up behind him, wrap your arms around him, give him a big hug, kiss him and tell him how much you love him and value him and appreciate him in your life.

He’ll be thrilled to hear your words of love!

(*A word of caution: This technique can be very distracting. Don’t do this when he’s concentrating on something like a computer program or game or working intently on something like a project or using power tools or fixing the car.)

There are many more techniques you can use to make your man adore you.

Keep in mind, though, that these tips are just the beginning.

By using these – and many more – techniques you’ll go a long way in keeping your man happy and true to you.

A savvy woman knows how to treat her man so he has eyes only for her.

She knows the secrets that make her man happy that she’s in his life.

She doesn’t have just one or two secrets, though.

She knows dozens and dozens of ways to love, appreciate, and excite her man and make him feel like he’s the luckiest guy in the world.

Best of all, she uses these secrets all the time in subtle ways that work like magic on her man.

If your boyfriend or husband is…

> cold

> distant

> unloving

> or has shut down and created an emotional wall

and you want him to love you again or you want him to be more loving…

…then click the following link for How To Inspire Your Man To Love, Cherish, Appreciate and Adore You and discover how to capture and recapture your man’s heart!

You’ll find 101 ways – the secrets savvy women know – to add more love, respect, passion, and excitement to your relationship. Plus, you’ll find ways to ignite the passion in your relationship so he desires you, wants you, and can’t live without you. (Who doesn’t want that in their relationship?)

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives relationship and dating advice to women and helps them find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Andrew C. for the beautiful roses photo in this article. Image credit: Roses (c) Andreyutzu #936341 freeimages.com

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: ,

How To Attract A Man

June 24, 2014 by

“Sometimes the problem isn’t about being able to attract a man. It’s about being approachable so the RIGHT man can get to know you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coachhow to attract a man

Knowing how to attract a man is a common problem many women have.

Surprisingly, attracting men isn’t really that hard to do.

Often the problem is not about knowing how to attract men.

It’s knowing how to attract a man who is right for you.

It’s knowing how to attract a great guy who you’d like to have a relationship with…and perhaps even marry down the road if things work out.

First, examine why you find it hard to attract a man because it might be something that you’re doing and you don’t even realize it.

Are You Finding It Difficult To Attract A Man?

When you say you can’t attract men you might mean that men don’t approach you.

If that’s the case then you need to think about WHY men don’t approach you.

It could be that you’re so attractive that men automatically think you’re unavailable.

As well, you should also consider whether you’re approachable.

If you hang out with a lot of guys or friends, then a guy who is interested in you won’t approach you because he’s intimidated. He wants to approach you when you’re alone, not when you’re with a friend or a group of friends.

Do you find that men don’t speak to you in a way that signals that they are interested in you?

If that’s the case, then you might be Friend Zoned – and that can be a difficult situation to break out of.

Usually, being Friend Zoned occurs when guys see you as one of them – not as an attractive woman…even though you are.

It might be the way you dress. It might be the way you speak. It might be the things you do that are masculine instead of feminine.

You might ride dirt bikes with the best of them.

You might fix cars and drive hot rods.

You might drive a 4×4 truck and go muddin’ in the back roads.

You might like going hunting and fishing with the guys.

If you’re doing things just like one of the boys, then guys usually won’t see you as a romantic interest but rather as a buddy.

It doesn’t mean you stop doing the things you love or stop hanging out with the guys.

It just means you have to be feminine and show to the guys you hang out with that you’re an attractive woman.

And finally, do you find you don’t know what to say when you meet a guy who you’re interested in?

Being tongue tied isn’t all that unusual – especially when you see an attractive man. If you’re tongue tied it hinders your ability to approach the guy and start a conversation – and that can lead to missed opportunities.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

 

Turnoffs That Don’t Attract A Man

While it’s always good to know how to attract a man, you should also know some things that repel a man.

These are things he finds unattractive in a woman.

For example….

1. A woman who is needy or desperate is a huge turnoff to a man.

This is the woman who is too eager. She has no mystery. Everything is an open book – which is not necessarily a bad thing but it’s as though she wants an instant romance or love affair so she can be in a relationship.

This is the type of woman who needs a man in her life – either because she’s at that age where she wants to be married and have children or she’s insecure and needs a male presence in her life.

A guy might not know it from looking at her but once he’s talked to her for a while he’ll sense her desperation for wanting to have a man in her life.

(The secret? The needy woman has to be more independent but still be feminine.)

2. A woman who is too independent repels men.

This is the very opposite of a needy woman.

This can sometimes be the woman who says, “I’m attractive and I have a nice personality. And yet, men don’t approach me or ask me out on dates.”

The independent woman shows her masculine side.

She wears “masculine” clothes (like business suits or pant suits) or works in an industry or has a career that pits her against men all the time.

She’s proud of the fact that she can take care of herself and hold her own against men.

And there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Trouble is, men want a woman who is feminine.

A woman who shows her feminine side.

A woman who dresses up in a sexy dress and high heels.

A woman who takes care of her hair and makeup.

That’s what attracts a man to a woman and what turns him on.

Not only that, men want to feel useful.

They want to feel that they can take care of a woman and please her.

The independent woman doesn’t show her femininity nor does she allow men to help her which is a BIG mistake.

(The secret? The independent woman has to switch off her “masculine” side and switch on her “feminine” side.)

3. Being a drama queen is unattractive to men.

Guys really don’t like drama at all.

They prefer a woman who is cool under pressure and remains positive and fun to be with.

The woman who complains about the smallest things or creates a scene or makes a fuss will find herself very quickly without a man.

(The secret? The drama queen has to chill out, remain cool, and not let things bother her.)

For the top 5 turnoffs for men you’re invited to download my FREE Dating Mistakes Special Report here.

Three Things You Can Do If You Want To Attract A Man

 

 1. Make Yourself Approachable

Men look for signs before approaching a woman.

If she’s at a club with her friends most men are intimidated to approach a woman who they are attracted to.

If a woman is sitting alone a man is more likely to approach her.

But just being approachable isn’t always enough.

You might have to encourage a guy to approach you.

If you see someone you like or you’re interested in, look at him and smile at him.

This is a signal to him that you’re interested in him. (And hopefully he’ll take the hint and introduce himself.)

 2. Build Your Confidence

Have you ever seen a confident woman around men? She talks. She flirts. She laughs. She has men hanging practically on her every word.

What makes this type of woman so confident around men is that she knows what to do and say.

And it’s that confidence that’s attractive to men – and attracts men to her.

Of course, some women are naturals when it comes to being confident. They know what to do to attract men.

They’ve learned their flirting skills.

They know what works and what doesn’t work.

If you feel unsure about your flirting skills then you have to develop them.

That involves learning how to approach men instead of waiting for them to approach you.

That means you also have to develop conversational skills.

 3. Build Your Conversational Skills

Have you ever noticed that when you see a cute or attractive guy, you get tongue tied and you can’t think of a thing to talk about?

For many women, that’s perfectly normal.

The quickest and easiest way to overcome being tongue tied is to talk to men all the time – whether or not you’re attracted to them.

Talk to them in grocery stores, in lineups, at the bank, at the coffee shop. Make small talk just to get things started.

Talk about the weather. Talk about the items on the menu. Talk about something that strikes you as funny.

This gets you into the habit of being approachable and interesting because you’ve taken the initiative to start a conversation.

Then, when you do see an attractive guy you’re interested in you’ll be able to start a conversation quickly and easily and see where it goes from there.

In the Girl Gets Great Guy System, I talk about how to be approachable in greater depth because it’s one of the most important skills to have when you’re trying to attract the right man for you.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who wants to find her one true love.

It’s for the woman who:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Never seems to be able to keep a good man for long
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get The Guy

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives relationship and dating advice to women and helps them find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Marcelo Silva for the beautiful photo in this article. Image credit: Sunset Graceosa Beach (c) Marcelo Silva #1384968 freeimages.com

 

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With:

Places To Meet Single Men

June 23, 2014 by

“Be proactive. Get out there and meet men. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a spectator or participator. The important thing is to meet guys. You just have to make sure they’re quality guys. Meeting quality men is one of the most effective ways to find your Mr. Right.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coachplaces to meet single men

Many women approach dating and relationships with a single goal – to find a good man as soon as possible. And that’s perfectly understandable.

After all, being involved in a relationship with a guy is what you want when you make the decision to look for a good man.

But it can put guys off if you come on too strong. They sense something isn’t quite right. They might even think you’re desperate. So you have to be more subtle in the way you approach it.

Instead of approaching having a relationship as your goal, I’d suggest changing your focus to this…

Meeting a guy is all about getting to know him as a friend.

So you approach guys as someone you’d like to get to know as a friend…at least at first.

(But, for goodness sake, don’t say to a guy – especially with online dating – that you want to be friends first. It’s a huge turnoff for guys.)

This doesn’t mean you put him in the Friend Zone.

It means you start out by thinking of him as a friend and getting to know him.

Because, ultimately, if you do get into a relationship, the friendship you have is just as important as the sex.

Probably more so because the sex can diminish over time but a true friendship will last and endure through good and bad times.

This casual approach can lead to dating and, if it’s the right guy, a relationship…and even marriage.

Keep in mind that the men you meet might not be what you’re looking for. But some of those men might introduce you to The One because they may be friends with The One or related to him.

I realize that you lead a busy life with work and family and life and that online dating has its advantages – it’s convenient, you don’t have to dress up, and you can stay anonymous.

But there’s nothing like getting out and meeting guys and seeing them in their element. You’ll see them do things they are passionate about.

You’ll have an opportunity to talk to them and ask them questions and get to know them.

Not all of these places that I suggest will be available to you. And you don’t have to be involved in every one of the activities either.

The point is to be aware of the possibilities available and I want to motivate you to take action to meet great guys. The more guys you meet the better your chances of meeting the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Many of these events you’ll have to attend by yourself. With some of them you might want to take a wing woman with you, but it’s more difficult for guys to approach you if you’re with someone else.

And keep this in mind: Those activities or classes that involve instruction are some of the best places to get to know guys because guys love to show how much they know about a certain topic.

Here is a short list of places to meet single men:

1. Luxury car dealership parties – Talk to guys who go to these events even if they’re married. Married men have sons or friends who might be single and available.

2. Join or watch a co-ed softball, volleyball, or bowling league

3. Take a kayaking, (motor) boating, or sailing class

4. Realtor parties – These aren’t open houses. These are parties where realtors press the flesh and pitch prospective buyers. Talk to guys who go to these even if they’re married

5. Take a hunting, archery, or an automotive repair class. You might not know a thing about these topics but you’ll find guys willing to share their knowledge.

6. Golf – Take lessons, visit golf stores, attend golf tournaments and chat with guys whether single or not (the married ones might have a cute son or they might have single friends)

7. Home improvement stores – Home Depot and Lowes are two of the biggest stores for home improvements. Walk around the aisles especially the tools, plumbing, and lumber sections of the stores. Tradesmen are usually at these stores early in the morning. Do-it-yourselfers usually shop on the weekends.

8. Sporting goods stores – REI, L.L. Bean, and Mountain Equipment Co-op are a few of the big names in sporting goods in the U.S. and Canada. But there are many more specialty stores as well. Hang out where men are likely to be, especially the fishing, hunting, baseball, cycling, and camping sections

9. Investment, real estate, and business seminars – Sit next to or strike up a conversation with (single) guys

10. Attend local sporting events – especially baseball, soccer, hockey, and basketball

11. Go to the dog park – If you don’t have a dog, volunteer to take a friend’s dog to the park (or go with your friend) so you can meet (male) dog lovers

12. Visit computer and electronic stores or join a computer club and ask guys for their suggestions and recommendations about computers, hard drives, thumb drives, laptops, notebooks, cell phones, TVs, stereos, and other electronic equipment. This is geek and nerd territory but you’ll find nice guys who will be happy to help you.

13. Join a wine tasting club or attend an open house if they have one. Remember: This is to meet guys, not get drunk or get a DUI. So be sure to keep your drinking to a minimum. If in doubt, get a taxi or have a friend drive you home.

14. Join a political group or be a volunteer – You’ll meet enthusiastic men who share similar political views that you do

15. Attend Chamber of Commerce or business networking events and network with business owners. Attend their silent auctions and get involved in projects or be on committees.

16. Volunteer in your community to meet men who want to serve their community or contribute money to worthy causes. These can include charitable organizations, fund raisers for national campaigns, or local charities.

17. Join a skiing or snowboarding club. Dress the part in an attention-getting outfit.

18. Join a backpacking, travel, or camping group or club. This is a great opportunity to ask questions about equipment and places to travel to.

This list is just the beginning…

In the Girl Gets Great Guy System I show you many more places where you can find quality men who are looking for a wonderful woman like you.

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice for women and shows women how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank John Nyberg for the image in this article. Image credit: Couple kissing in sunset (c) by Johnny Nyberg. Photo by johnnyberg on Freeimages.com

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women

Signs Of Falling In Love With A Guy

June 21, 2014 by

26801107_s“Falling in love and being in love are two of the most wonderful feelings that can happen to a person.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach

You meet a new guy and you start dating him.

You try and keep it light and casual and upbeat but something starts changing with the way you feel about him.

It might be that you’re starting to fall for him.

In fact, you might even be smitten with him.

And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s such a wonderful feeling when you’re in love.

Here are 7 signs you’re falling in love with him…

1. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him And About Having A Future Together

Virtually every new relationship has a certain excitement about it.

Things are new and fresh and interesting.

You think about him constantly.

You smile at the very thought of him.

You day dream about him.

And you wonder what it would be like to have him in your life every day – to wake up beside him and to look at him over breakfast or dinner.

2. You Miss Him And Feel Lonely When You’re Not With Him

You get used to having him in your life and you enjoy his company.

And you get used to talking to him and having fun with him.

You like sitting beside him and watching TV together…or going to the park with him…or pottering around the garden together.

You like his hugs and kisses and words of endearment.

You like holding hands with him.

You like the way he teases you and compliments you.

You like his jokes and you like laughing with him.

When you’re not with him – or he’s not with you – you feel lonely.

You want him around all the time – or at the very least you want to see him as much as possible to the exclusion of other things – so you can talk to him and do things with him and see his smile.

3. You Start Dating Him Exclusively

Other guys you’ve been dating pale in comparison to him. He just seems so manly and romantic and he makes you happy.

You want to focus all of your time on him and you plan to spend all of your free time with him.

This is a big step because it might even mean you are both exclusive at this point. Or it might mean you’re committed to him but he hasn’t made that commitment to you yet.

4. Your Life Seems Happier Since You’ve Met Him And Started Dating Him

Sometimes life seems to be full of hassles and you feel so stressed out.

But now…things don’t upset you as much as they used to because you’re “in love.”

Your outlook on life is happier and things just seem better now that you’ve met this great guy.

5. You Ignore Or Overlook His Faults

Admittedly you’re biased here because you’re into him and you’re attracted to him.

Even his quirks and the unusual things he does have a certain charm to them that endear him to you.

In fact, his faults might seem kind of cute to you at this point in the relationship.

6. You Want To Be Intimate With Him

This can be a huge step for you.

You’re attracted to him, there’s that “spark,” and you want him.

But you have to be careful even if your desire for him is strong – you don’t give yourself to him just because he’s hot and there’s crackling chemistry between the two of you.

If he hasn’t made a commitment to you to date exclusively then this is one area where you hold back until he’s ready to make that commitment.

This isn’t about teasing him or frustrating him – it’s about being smart in catching a man and keeping him.

If you’re intimate with him too early in the relationship you risk losing him. That’s because his curiosity will be satisfied and he might move on to another woman.

7. You Start Changing Or Making Changes To Please Him

You might change the color of your hair or the length of your hair because he likes it a certain way and you want to please him.

You might dress a certain way to please him. You might wear certain lingerie that he’s particularly fond of seeing you wear.

You might start reading books or listening to music or watching movies that he likes or has mentioned or recommended to you.

You make him your priority rather than going to the gym or hanging out with your friends.

Any of these signs can mean you’re falling for a guy and that you’re in love with him.

The challenge though is to carry on with your life rather than making your new guy your whole life.

Falling in love is a wonderful feeling. But don’t overlook the signs that he has boyfriend potential instead of being just a short term distraction.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women

Signs He’s Boyfriend Material

June 20, 2014 by

“Look for these signs he’s a great guy with boyfriend potential.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coachhearts

What you’ve invariably learned about love is that a relationship that initially looks promising doesn’t mean it will last. Sometimes the chemistry isn’t as strong as you thought. Other times you discover you’re not as compatible as you thought.

Just look at the Bachelorette TV Show as an example.

It’s so easy to fall in love with a handsome, funny, charismatic man.

The locations and settings are romantic.

There are candle-lit dinners.

There’s attraction.

There’s instant chemistry.

There’s passion.

There are fireworks.

There are private and public appearances with musicians, bands, and celebrities.

There are fun things to do either as a group or on a one-on-one date.

There’s the fantasy suite where the Bachelorette and her final choices “get to know each other” better.

It’s like you’re in a relationship bubble of romance and passion.

It’s so easy to fall in love when you feel the strong attraction and the chemistry.

The heart rules.

The reality, though can be totally different.

There’s the TV relationship that suddenly turns from seeing each other often to being in a long distance relationship because the Bachelorette and the “winner” live in different cities.

There can be the family dynamics where the parents and siblings are skeptical and don’t fully accept the Bachelorette’s new boyfriend.

There can be career situations where one has to give up their job or career to be with the other if they decide to live together.

The distance and time apart becomes a problem and decisions have to be made about who has to move so they can be together.

Invariably time will tell whether there’s a true connection and true compatibility and whether this is a lasting relationship or one that fizzles out.

As you know, when it comes to love and relationships there are no guarantees.

But there are clues that increase your chances of finding a great guy…and knowing you have found a great guy.

It’s not that difficult to decide if a guy has boyfriend potential. Because if you’re feeling the chemistry and you like him and he’s nice then chances are he’s a great guy to have as a boyfriend.

Sometimes when you’re falling in love or you’re initially smitten with a guy, you need to take a step back to look at things objectively. If you feel deep down that something is not quite right then listen to your instincts because chances are something isn’t right.

You’ll generally have two situations with relationships:

1. You’re just getting to know a guy but you haven’t moved beyond that to be considered boyfriend and girlfriend in an exclusive relationship

2. You’re beyond the beginning stages of getting to know each other and you’re moving into or you’re already in an exclusive or monogamous relationship. By this time you should be boyfriend and girlfriend although there will be situations where it’s not as well defined even though you spend time together.

If you have any doubts that the guy you’re interested in is boyfriend material, then here are some signs a guy could make a good boyfriend (think of this a your “boyfriend material checklist” or “good guy checklist”).

1. He’s Not A Player And He Wants A Relationship

Players usually have a reputation for being a “player.” They could even be pickup artists.

They’re usually easy to spot once you get to know them a little bit.

They frequent clubs and bars for the night life and the action.

So if you’re into that scene as well, then chances are you’re going to run into a player.

They’re smooth. They have good pickup lines. They know what to say to “woo” women.

However, players usually have short(er) term relationships. They might play the field. They might be into one-night stands.

They might even have a large number of women who are their friends.

Players usually grow weary of their existing relationship and look for someone “better.” So their investment in the relationship might not be as much as yours because they know it will eventually end and they will move on.

A guy with boyfriend potential is a good guy. A nice guy. In a way, that might even seem boring.

But he’s definitely not a rebel or a bad boy.

He doesn’t play games and he wants to be in a relationship.

He doesn’t want to play the field and you’re not another notch in his bedpost.

2. You Can Rely On Him And Trust What He Says

His word is his bond. You can rely on what he says.

He’s not the type who says one thing and does the exact opposite.

If he says he’ll do something you can trust that he’ll keep his word.

3. He Makes You Feel Happy When You’re With Him

He has a calming influence on you. It’s exciting to be with him because he’s a fun guy and he makes you feel good about yourself.

He makes you feel safe and desired.

Best of all, there are no pretenses – you can be yourself around him and he’s himself around you.

4. Your Friends And Family Like Him

The rebel doesn’t care what others think about him. And that can cause unnecessary friction with those who are closest to you.

There’s nothing more stressful and upsetting than knowing your friends and family don’t like your boyfriend.

Sometimes they’re wrong. But chances are they see something about him that you don’t – and it’s not a good sign.

A great boyfriend will treat your friends and family well and get to know them.

You know you’ve got a keeper when your friends and family aren’t telling you to ditch him because he’s no good for you or you deserve better.

Better still if your girlfriends ask you to tell them if you and your guy ever break up because they think he’s hot.

5. He Knows What’s Important To You

He listens to you and knows what you like and don’t like.

He knows what’s important to you and he respects that. He doesn’t put you down, criticize you, or make you feel stupid or inadequate because you have certain beliefs or morals or tastes.

6. He Thinks You’re Hot Even When You’re Not Feeling (or Looking) Hot

Chances are you have those days when you feel fat or you just don’t feel pretty.

But a great guy makes you feel pretty by the way he treats you and the things he says to you.  That’s the type of guy you want to have around.

He makes you feel good about yourself.

To him, you’re hot, no matter how you feel about yourself. And that’s a good thing.

7. He’s Your Friend

He’s the type of guy you can confide in.

He’s the type of guy you can talk to about (almost) anything.

He’s there for you when things get tough.

He’s there to encourage you and cheer you on.

He’s there to listen to you and give you advice if you ask for it.

8. He Cares

He cares about you.

He cares how you feel.

He cares about your feelings.

He cares about what’s important to you.

He’s there to support you.

He has your back.

And while all these little factors might at first not seem very important, how he feels about you (now and as time goes on) is a major factor in determining whether he’ll make a great boyfriend.

You might not find all of these qualities in the guy you’re interested in. But the more qualities you do find, the better the chances are that he IS boyfriend material and he is someone you should seriously consider to have in your life.

Is He Boyfriend Material That Can Lead To
Being Your Husband?

The next step, after dating for a while, and getting to know each other better, is to decide whether he’s a keeper – the man you might want to eventually marry.

Because in the early stages of dating everything is fresh and new.

It’s exciting.

It’s thrilling.

It’s exhilarating.

It’s about dreaming of a future with someone you fall in love with.

As times goes on though, you’ll discover things about him that you like and don’t like.

Things that were “cute” at first could become irritants later on.

Or they could just be things that you accept because your love for him grows deeper and deeper.

Most importantly, though, you’ll discover whether you’re compatible or not.

Compatibility is one of the keys to a lasting relationship.

It determines whether you can get along with each other, whether you enjoy being with each other, and whether you grow together as a couple.

In many cases, these early stages of a relationship can be the most challenging.

You see he has “boyfriend potential” but you get caught up in the attraction and the lust and passion.

That’s what Mother Nature intended to happen.

Are You And Your Boyfriend Compatible?

Of course, there’s another side to relationships.

It’s about getting to know each other and understanding who that person is at the very core of their being.

Ultimately, you have to determine whether he’s the person you want in your life.

You’ll be asking yourself questions (and looking for answers to questions) like…

Is he a nice person?

Is he kind?

Does he fly off the handle, get moody and start arguments, or show road rage?

Does he show empathy and gentleness to you and others?

Does he help others or is he selfish?

Would he be a good husband who would keep you safe and look after you?

Would he be a good father and raise children you’d be proud of?

In the initial stages of getting to know each other, things always seem so positive.

He’s your dream guy.

He can do no wrong.

But that’s because you don’t really know him very well.

What issues does he bring to the relationship from his past?

How was he raised?

How has he been treated by women in past relationships?

Why did his past relationships fail?

What lessons has he learned from his past relationships?

Is he looking for a partner or arm candy?

Will he be a fantastic provider but be so busy with his career that you always come second and feel lonely and unloved in your relationship (or marriage)?

Knowing how your man reacts in different situations is also important.

Does he pull away and withdraw?

Does he go cold and distant?

Does he push you away when you want to be amorous?

Is he controlling?

Does he do things that hurt or disturb you?

These are the questions that can only be answered with time as you interact with him and get to know him.

How To Make Your Boyfriend Adore You

If you’ve found a man you want as your boyfriend or you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you have to know how to KEEP him.

You have to be the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Truth is, you’re in competition with other women who are vying for his attention and affection – even when he is in a committed relationship.

If he loses interest in you it might be because he’s more interested in other women.

But a man who loves, cherishes, appreciates and adores you has eyes only for you.

It’s not enough to be sexy.

It’s not enough to be a tigress in bed and be able to turn him on and inflame his desire.

Men not only think differently than women, they have a “checklist” of what is important to them when they select a life partner.

If you’ve ever wondered why a man breaks up with the woman he’s been dating for a long time and then marries someone else (usually shortly after), it’s because the “other woman” did something that made him choose her over all other women.

In fact, it’s very likely the woman he married knew the secrets to understanding her man so that he adored her.

If you want to increase your chances that your boyfriend will love you and adore you, then find out how to inspire him to love, cherish, appreciate and adore you here.

How To Make Your Man Adore You

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Stephen Gibson for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Beautiful valentine chocolate hearts image #1254000 at freeimages.com

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: , ,

Online Dating – The Hidden Dangers Of Online Dating

June 17, 2014 by

“Sometimes you get so swept up with online dating and the “relationship” you form with someone online that you forget that it’s not real. The reality is that you don’t know that person very well – if at all – in real life.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.online dating

Online dating is an effective way to find a great guy. And many women do have success finding a great guy using online dating..

But online dating does come with its hazards that you should be aware of.

Other than the usual romantic scams that I talk about there are other dangers with online dating.

Here’s how the typical scenario goes…

You throw up your online dating profile, add a couple of photos, and hope that someone will respond to your profile.

And, usually someone does.

In fact, you might have a number of guys who are interested in getting to know you.

Some of those guys you will “reject” quickly for various reasons – they’re too young, they’re too old, you don’t like their photo, you don’t think you have enough in common with them, or there’s something in their profile description that turns you off.

Sometimes, you’ll reject a guy simply because he doesn’t have a photo on his profile. Many women say in their description that they won’t correspond with guys who don’t have a photo. Now, the theory is that if there is no photo then the guy is hiding something. Many women assume he’s married or in a relationship – which may or may not be true.

Don’t instantly reject a guy just because there is no photo on his profile. He may be a very private person and be willing to send you his photos in an email if you ask him (just be careful that it’s not a scammer and he has a virus attached to his photos.)

Usually, though, after corresponding with these guys or talking to them on the phone you’ll know whether or not to continue with them to see if they’re boyfriend material.

Ultimately, you’ll very likely focus on two or three guys who have caught your interest.

These are the guys who warrant most of your time in your online search for a great guy.

These are the guys you’ve “qualified” to see if they’re boyfriend material.

But here’s the hidden danger of online dating…

Feelings Evolve

You start emailing back and forth with a great guy or two. Then you will probably use chat and move to the phone or go onto Skype.

When you meet someone online and start to email and/or chat back and forth there is what I call a virtual bond that occurs.

This person takes on an image in your mind of the perfect man. He’s funny. He’s fun. He’s interesting. He says the right things. He’s romantic. He becomes real to you even though you’ve never met him in real life.

What you don’t know is whether he’s saying those things to other women. You don’t know if he really is single and available.

And you see him at his best – at the prearranged time you both schedule to talk to each other. You don’t see him under pressure from the stresses at work. You don’t know what his health is like. You don’t know what his finances are like. In fact, you know very little about the real person.

Not surprisingly, many people – both men and women – “fall in love” online. First it’s hugs using emoticons. Then it’s hugs and kisses. And then at some point they say they “love” the person even though they’ve never met each other in person.

You might even get risque and share semi-nude or nude photos. Or you might start talking about sex and what you like and don’t like when it comes to sex and intimacy.

You start calling each other terms of endearment like “sweetie” or “honey” or “darling” just as you would in real life.

You’re smitten with him.

This is the infatuation stage where you start falling for him. And yet it’s not real because you haven’t even met him.

But here’s the trap you fall into:

The “relationship” is a virtual relationship – one that isn’t real except in your mind. It’s based on fantasy and driven by your hope that it works into something that is tangible and real.

You don’t even know if the photo you’ve seen on his online profile is accurate. And even if you talk to each other on Skype, you might be in for a surprise – he might be heavier or slimmer than you thought. In fact, you might even overlook things that normally would disqualify a guy from being boyfriend material.

Even so, you begin to get your hopes up that he’s the guy for you – especially if he’s funny and he has similar interests to yours.

Your feelings develop. He becomes important in your life even though you’ve never met.

And because your feelings develop you get emotional and upset if he doesn’t send you an email or he doesn’t phone you when you expect him to.

And chances are you become a “victim” of…

Male Posturing

In online dating, male posturing is where a guy tries to impress you. He could say things about his work, his hobbies, or his accomplishments, or things he’s particularly proud of.

It could also be about how he sees himself – if he’s a romantic his overtures to you will be romance based – cards, notes, sayings, terms of affection, terms of endearment.

His male posturing can also include future plans. For example, it might be where he plans to take you – a vacation spot or hotel or restaurant – when you meet.

This is all part of the courtship ritual.

But in the online dating world it has a powerful effect because it plays on your emotions and imagination.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing but it’s important to remember that it’s not reality because it’s not as though you’re a “couple” at this point. You don’t know how you will interact with him in real life.

He might even go into “hero” mode – where he’s so taken with you that he wants to impress you by doing things that make you feel closer to him or somewhat obligated to him.

For example, he might send you gifts.

Or he might arrange to take you away on a small vacation.

This is male posturing where he’s trying to win you over so that you see him as your hero.

You might even build him up so much that you begin to have doubts about whether you’re “good enough” for him and whether he’ll be happy with you. And in some cases, he reveals to you that he’s not sure he’s “good enough” for you.

But, the problem at this point – even if you’re emailing and chatting and talking on the phone and getting along famously – is that there is no real life chemistry.

You don’t really know much about this guy at this point other than what he’s told you.

You don’t know his habits or beliefs.

You don’t know his friends or his family.

You don’t know how he will treat you. In fact, what he shows you in his emails and chats could be only one facet of his total personality.

The Real Tests – Chemistry, Compatibility, and Time

The real tests to a beginning relationship are chemistry, compatibility, and time.

Chemistry is something that you can’t change. It’s either there or not. Your feelings for him might change over time but chemistry is still an important element in the relationship unless you’re not interested in having sex or being intimate with him in any way and you just want a companion and a friendship – which most people on online dating sites don’t want.

You have to see if there is compatibility – that you enjoy each other’s company and that you enjoy doing things together.

Time is the ultimate test.

It takes time to know someone. It takes time to see how they are around their friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers.

It takes time to see another person’s moods and how they react when they are stressed or frustrated.

It takes time to see how this new guy in your life will treat you – whether he helps you or looks after you when you’re sick with a cold or flu or other disease.

It takes time to see whether you’re happy with him – whether he supports you in what you do, whether he’s romantic, whether he’s a good lover.

Consider this:

You might not like the smell of his cologne.

You might not like his habits.

You might not like how he talks to you.

You might not like the way he cuts his hair…or trims his beard.

You might not like how he eats his food…or what seasonings and condiments he puts on his food.

You might not like the foods he eats.

Until you have spent time with him and you get to know him and his friends and his family, you won’t know what he is like. You have to see how he interacts with others – not just you.

And when you do meet, guess what?

The clock is wound back to zero. Because even though you know him well on the internet, you don’t know him at all in real life.

So, it’s like starting over. You start over by getting to know him. Only this time it’s in real life, not in virtual life.

It’s not like you are best friends where you can pick up from where you last saw each other as though there were no gap in time.

This is entirely different.

You “know” this man in a different – virtual – way.

Key Barriers To A Blossoming Relationship

There are two main barriers to a blossoming relationship when you’re involved with online dating.

First is the fact that you think you know a guy so well online that you trust him.

And that can lead to certain consequences.

For example, you might have sex with him too early – simply because you’ve been emailing and talking on the phone so much that you have a connection.

And if you have sex with him too early that could be a mistake and ruin a promising relationship.

Remember: Until you meet and spend time with each other you’re not in a relationship and you’re not exclusive.

It’s always wise to take normal safety precautions until you know who he is and what he’s all about.

Another barrier to a blossoming relationship is distance.

Online dating lends itself to both local and long distance relationships.

But long distance relationships can be the hardest to endure because once you meet in person you’ll want to see more and more of that person if you click and there is chemistry.

Jumping To Wrong Conclusions

Another very real danger of online dating is that it’s easy to jump to conclusions about someone.

And many of those conclusions usually don’t have any basis in fact. Instead, they’re your imaginings.

For example: He doesn’t come online when he says he will. He doesn’t send as many emails to you. He doesn’t express his feelings to you. Or he has other “friends” who he chats with online.

When that happens you begin to wonder if he’s “faithful” to you or whether he’s getting cold feet or whether things are cooling off between the two of you and he’s starting to lose interest in you.

In fact, chances are you want an instant relationship. Or, at the very least, you want to speed the process up. You want him to profess his undying love to you. And that’s not possible – particularly if you’ve never met him and you haven’t even spent time with him – except online.

Keep in mind that relationships take time to develop and mature. There are limits to what he will say to you when he doesn’t know you. You might “love” him, but he’ll probably be more cautious about using the “L” word until he’s sure about how he feels about you.

The true test of a blossoming relationship – especially one that started with online dating – is getting to know someone in person and seeing if you fit into his life and he fits into your life. And that is something that can’t be rushed.

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

Download Blaine’s FREE Special Report, 7 Best Places To Find Mr. Right, his exclusive list of places where great guys hang out.

Filed Under: Online Dating

How To Respond If A Guy Phones You A Week Or Two After A Great First Date

May 13, 2014 by
Home › Dating Advice For Women - Blaine Barrington › Page 2
how to inspire your man to adore you“Your attitude can make or break a promising relationship. In this dating advice for women article I explain your choices if a man doesn’t phone you shortly after going on a great date with you.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

What Every Woman Should Know About A Guy Who Doesn’t Phone After A Great Date

There are several reasons why a man doesn’t phone you after having a great first or second date with you.

If he does call a week or more after a great date then how you respond to him will determine whether there is potential for a relationship or not.

I’m going to give you ideas on how to react so you don’t blow your chances of missing out on a great guy.

When you meet a great guy and you’ve had a great first (or second) date you get your hopes up.

He seems to have many of the qualities you’re looking for in a guy. He’s attractive. He’s funny and personable. He’s interesting.

You think there’s a chance of a relationship and he might even be The One.

You’re willing to make him a priority and put most of your other activities on hold to get to know him better to see if things will develop.

Trouble is, you don’t know what he’s thinking. He may still be processing the date and trying to decide whether he wants to pursue things with you.

He might want to pursue things with you but his job (or other activity) takes precedence and time gets away from him.

And even if you think he could have picked up the phone or texted you or emailed you, some guys just don’t think that way. They put things off and before you know it a week or more has gone by.

You have to remember that with the first few dates – and until you’re in an exclusive relationship with him – you are NOT his number one priority unless he has virtually no life to speak of…or unless he is totally head-over-heels in love with you and completely infatuated with you (in which case he’d be contacting you a lot).

The first few weeks and even months are the “getting to know you” stage. Things are casual. And until things become more serious, you should assume he’s dating other women.

In the meantime, he has work. He has his friends. He has his activities and hobbies. He might even have a pet like a dog that comes before you (I’m sorry to say that, but that’s reality, because to some guys their dog is their best buddy and gets tons of attention.)

So you have to accept that you’re not a priority in his life (at least not right now) – you’re still someone he’s getting to know.

Admittedly, if he contacts you a week or two after a date, he’s either not showing much interest or he’s not very considerate or he’s inexperienced in dating.

But it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not attracted to you and doesn’t want to get to know you better.

Why He May Not Have Contacted You

It can be really confusing and frustrating can’t it? You go on a great date with a guy. You think there’s potential for something more and then you don’t hear from him. Or he promises to phone and then you don’t hear from him.

And a week or so later he resurfaces. It’s the classic “submarine syndrome” used by some guys.

There are at least six possible reasons why he hasn’t contacted you after a great date. Your difficulty is trying to determine what the REAL reason is.

1. He’s a lazy dater and wants you to contact him. This is a red flag. Don’t chase him. He’s the man and he should be chasing you. He could be egotistical and think he’s God’s gift to women and women should chase him. Or he could be lazy and doesn’t want to do the work that’s required to get to know you. Or he could be shy and be nervous about contacting you.

You have to decide which of these options applies to him. You should be able to tell that from your interaction with him on the date. How did he act? Was he outgoing? Did he drop hints that he went on lots of dates or lots of women were interested in him? Did he seem hesitant and shy? Or did he seem nonchalant or laid back to the point where he had a take it or leave it attitude and didn’t seem that interested unless you did all of the work?

2. He didn’t feel chemistry or a spark on the date and decides not to pursue you. (There’s nothing you can do in this situation and it’s best to move on.)

Sometimes a guy will say that he had a great time with you but in truth he didn’t feel any connection and while he thought you were nice he really doesn’t want to pursue a relationship with you.

If there’s chemistry and a spark initially chances are he’s going to be into you. He’s going to be flirting and having fun and making sure you have fun. And, if he’s on the ball, he’s going to tell you he’s interested in you and he’d like to see you again.

3. You said or did something that turned him off. (Again, there’s nothing you can do so you might as well look for another guy)

You probably won’t know if you did this or what you did to turn him off, but if you’re not getting a lot of second or third dates that could be a clue you’re doing something wrong.

4. There is a legitimate reason why he hasn’t called.

An emergency or crazy work schedule or time conflict fall into this category.

Although rare, sometimes there are legitimate reasons why a guy hasn’t called. Be open to the idea that this might be one of those times.

Keep this in mind: A great date – and a promising relationship – can turn into a disaster depending on how you respond to him if he does contact you a week or two after the date.

5. You’re not right for him.

Sometimes you can have a great first or second date with a guy but things fizzle out. This happens because after the date he’s thinking about things. He’s future projecting a bit. He’s trying to figure out what it would be like to have you in his life.

Maybe you’re sociable and he’s not. Maybe you like to hang with friends and family and he doesn’t. Maybe you like adventure and you like to travel and he doesn’t.

He thinks of these things and they determine whether he thinks a relationship with you is worth pursuing. If, for some reason, he doesn’t feel you’re compatible with each other he’s not going to contact you.

Keep in mind that a guy doesn’t like drama. It’s easier to fade away quietly than to come right out and say that he doesn’t think things will work out.

6. The timing is wrong.

You go on a few great dates with him and you get to know him. During those dates you discover things about each other.

It might have to do with future plans. It might have to do with where you both are in your life or careers. You might be planning on a major life change. Or he might have plans to travel or go to college or university or move to another town.

The potential for a relationship might be there but the circumstances just don’t work out. You’re at different stages in your lives and your lives wouldn’t mesh into a long term relationship.

7. He’s uncertain whether he should pursue you.

He might be shy. He might be inexperienced. He might not know if you gave him the “green light” to pursue you. He doesn’t know what you’re thinking and whether you like him.

Perhaps you didn’t give him signals that indicated you’re interested in him. Or he didn’t pick up on the signals you gave him.

So he’s confused. He has to sort things out in his own mind and decide whether he wants to get to know you better.

After all, he doesn’t want to make a fool of himself and be shot down if you rebuff him or ignore him.

This is a legitimate reason to give him another chance.

3 Choices You Face If He Takes His Time To Phone You

You have three main choices if a man you’ve just dated doesn’t phone you within a day or two after a great date:

1. You can give him a piece of your mind, show him how angry you are, and blow him off. (Definitely a mood killer and a great way to ruin any chance of a relationship)

This is usually the reaction most women will have. They had their hopes pinned on this guy and he dashes those hopes away in an instant by appearing disinterested and taking his time to call again.

Maybe he’s playing it cool and doesn’t want to appear too eager.

Maybe he’s inexperienced with dating.

Or maybe he’s not that into you.

Getting your hopes up too much and too early is especially true with online dating – you develop a rapport with a guy, seem to be getting along well, message each other frequently so that it becomes an established routine, and then he disappears for a few days or his communication with you becomes intermittent.

You begin to wonder what’s up…and you get angry with him for “standing you up.”

2. You can ignore his call and not return his calls. (It’s a surefire way to get over him and move onto the next guy if you’re absolutely certain you don’t want to get to know him better.)

This usually signifies that you’re angry at the guy and don’t want anything more to do with him.

If that’s the case, it’s time to move on and look for another guy.

3. You can cut him some slack and pursue things with him to see where they lead. (Best choice if you’re interested in him.)

Sometimes it turns out that it’s worth giving a guy a second chance. Keep in mind that there may be a very valid reason why he took so long to get back to you – it could be work related. Or he could have been sick, or his children could have been sick.

How would you feel, for example, if you got angry with him and gave him a piece of your mind when in fact his father was gravely ill and he had to make an emergency trip to see his father?

Or what if he’s a medical student who’s on call at all hours of the day and night and when he’s free you’re not?

You have to show understanding about his circumstances. It’s not about making excuses for him, it’s about taking a step back and seeing things through his eyes.

Until you know the facts, don’t assume that he isn’t interested. Sure, maybe he is a lazy dater. If that’s the case then at some point you’ll have to politely tell him how you like to be treated…or look for another guy.

But don’t write him off completely – at least not yet – if you’re interested in him.

If the guy is a decent guy, you’re attracted to him, and it’s worth pursuing to see if he has signs he has boyfriend potential then when he phones be sweet and keep things light and fun.

What Most Guys Expect

Most guys expect that they will be chastised if they don’t phone soon after a date. If he does phone you and you cut him some slack and show him you welcome the opportunity to get to know him better you will stand out from the majority of other women.

If you chastise him, get angry with him, argue with him, try and teach him manners, or make him feel bad for taking so long to contact you after the date, then you won’t get a second chance with him.

If you are cold towards him and start playing games or you are not understanding, then you’ve lost him. He definitely won’t pursue you.

Of course, he might be the type of guy who has you “in reserve.” In this situation, he dates other women to see if there is a connection with them.

You’re his “alternate choice” if things don’t work out with another woman. While this might not be very flattering to you, it may turn out to be to your benefit in the long run if he chooses you over other women. After all, we all choose one person over another when we decide to be in an exclusive relationship. And at this point, he’s not in a committed relationship with you so he’s free to date other women, just as you’re free to date other men.

Next time a great guy doesn’t phone you a day or two after a wonderful date and leaves you cooling your heels for a while, consider whether you want to get to know him or not.

If you do, keep it light and upbeat when he phones and see if a relationship develops. (But the next time you meet, let him know in a nice way how you prefer to be treated in the future without him thinking you’ve been sitting by the phone waiting for him to call – which is a no-no.)

The key is not to jump to conclusions until you know the facts because sometimes your assumptions can be incorrect.

If he doesn’t phone you then move on unless you decide to take the initiative to contact him…and find out once and for all whether he’s interested in spending time with you. (Be prepared for him to tell you he’s not interested. And if you do phone him and you get a cool (as in disinterested) “Oh, hi” from him, chances are he’s not that into you.)

In fact, there’s nothing wrong in taking the initiative. It’s not “chasing” him like many people think. It’s showing interest and then letting him take the lead and show you how he feels about you.

If he’s not interested in you, it’s okay to be disappointed. But it’s not the end of the world. In fact, he’s done you a favor – you can now concentrate on finding your Mr. Right – someone who will move Heaven and Earth to be with you and show you he adores you.

How To Avoid Guessing Whether He’s
“The One” And Mr. Right For You

Chances are, if he hasn’t phoned or texted you within a day or two after going on a great first or second date, he’s not into you as much as you’re into him.

After all, a guy who is interested in you will go to great lengths and crawl a mile over broken glass to see you again – unless there’s a valid reason he couldn’t text or call.

You see, when a guy is interested in you he’s going to romance you and woo you.

He’s going to be hot for you.

Because he’s attracted to you.

If he doesn’t text, call, or romance you, then he’s probably not the guy for you because there are a lot of men out there who are single and available who still romance women and show their interest in her.

He has to show his interest, even if it’s with just a text.

It shouldn’t be just one text, either.

It should be continued contact to show that he wants to be on your mind all the time.

A guy who wants to be romantically involved with you will usually do romantic things.

He might write poems.

Or he might send you romantic texts.

Or he might flirt with you.

Or he might buy you flowers.

He might take you on a romantic date.

These are all signs a man is interested in you.

If you’re getting a different vibe – and he’s only interested in a one night stand or a booty call – then he’s a pass.

He’s not interested in a relationship with you. And you won’t change his mind by sleeping with him.

That’s when you need to try something different and attract a man who’s looking for a wonderful woman like you and wants to be in a long term relationship.

There’s no point in hanging around waiting for love to happen, sitting by the phone waiting for a guy to call, and passing up opportunities with other men, wishing and hoping this one guy you went on a great date with – who hasn’t shown enough interest in you – will come around, change his mind, and want to be in a relationship with you.

If you’re ready for love and you want a great man in your life, you have to take the initiative and look for a man who will love, cherish, appreciate and adore you.

This isn’t about “rules.”

Instead, it’s about having the tools to help you find and catch the man of your dreams.

If you want to “up your dating game” then there’s a wonderful way to do that with this special system that cracks the “Guy Code” and shows you how to meet new, single and available men.

It shows you how to find a boyfriend and get a boyfriend – but not just any boyfriend. After all, it’s not hard to get a boyfriend.

Instead, you’re looking for the right man, the man who wants to be in a long term relationship and who will commit to you.

You’ll discover…

>> The best places to find HOT men

>> Key questions to ask any man you’re chatting with online so you don’t waste your time

>> Top internet dating scams to avoid

>>The Ultimate Mr. Right Checklist to help you determine whether the man you’re dating is right for you

>> And much more, including relationship stories and what to do in specific dating and relationship situations to avoid wasting your precious time or getting hurt.

Check out the system that shows you how to crack the guy code here.

 

how to find and get a boyfriend

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With:

HowAboutWe.com Dating Service

October 27, 2013 by

coupleholdinghandsbeachHowAboutWe.com is not your ordinary online dating service as you’ll discover shortly.

You see, with most online dating services – like Chemistry.com or Plenty of Fish – you create a profile and then search for matches based on your matching criteria.

Your matching parameters for most dating services usually start with location, age, gender, and interests.

Some dating sites – like PerfectMatch.com and eHarmony – match according to specific questions asked on an extensive personality questionnaire.

And sometimes, online dating services can be quicker and easier to find someone rather than the traditional way of meeting men.

There’s no need to get dressed up to go to a club or bar. And there’s little expense – at least initially – since most sites allow free online profiles and some services are totally free for contacting other members.

HowAboutWe.com

HowAboutWe.com was started in 2010 and now has more than one million members.

Average user age is between 29-35 and 98% of users have at least a bachelor’s degree. There have been more than 300,000 dates suggested on the site since it launched.

The service also has a twitter and Facebook presence as well as a blog to update members on dating advice and different topics.

HowAboutWe.com does something different when it comes to dating services.

And it’s an interesting concept which makes it unique in the dating world – at least for the moment.

It starts out by having members suggest an activity that they can do with other members.

The emphasis is on great dating ideas and having fun on the dates.

And the whole purpose is to get members to meet offline and see if there is a match.

According to HowAboutWe.com’s media director, Erin Scottberg, the “pick-a-date feature” is a wonderful way to get to know someone’s personality rather than through the traditional online dating profile.

It’s a great idea, isn’t it?

After all, dating is all about getting to know the other person and seeing if you have things in common and whether there is chemistry.

And what better way to do that than to go on fun dates.

Members post date ideas and then other members indicate whether they like the idea. The more members who like the idea, the more popular it is.

If you like a dating idea, the member’s profile looks interesting, and it’s someone you’d like to meet and get to know better then it’s a matter of contacting the member to arrange a date.

Some popular date ideas include…“How About We…write down a bunch of random questions, put them in a hat and get to know each other by pulling them out, one at a time.”

And…”How About We…do a progressive dinner – appetizers, entrees and dessert each at a different place.”

It’s suggested that members of HowAboutWe.com post at least 3 profile photos to increase their chances of connecting with other members.

Although browsing the site is free, you will need to subscribe to the dating service if you want to contact other members you’re interested in meeting.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

ELLE Magazine and HowAboutWe.com

ELLE Magazine has co-branded with HowAboutWe.com to offer the dating service to their members.

As you probably know, ELLE magazine is the number one fashion magazine brand in the world. In fact, this premier women’s magazine identifies with women who are proactive and successful.

And that’s what you need to be when you’re looking for love or you’re ready for love. You need to be proactive.

It’s no use waiting around for Mr. Right to drop into your lap. Because that won’t happen. Instead you have to get out and meet people and search online dating services for the right type of guy for you.

According to their press release in August 2013, ELLE dating members will also have exclusive access to a one-on-one matchmaking service.

This matchmaking service will be subscription based and will include among other things two dates a month, dating planning and feedback as well as consultation by phone from relationship expert, E. Jean Carroll.

AARP and HowAboutWe.com

AARP is a non-profit organization in the United States for men and women aged 50 and over. It offers many benefits to its large membership.

One of its newest benefits is online dating.

AARP has partnered with HowAboutWe.com to offer its members another way to meet potential partners and enjoy a wonderful, fun-filled relationship.

At the time of this writing, AARP members not only get a 7 day free trial but they also get a special discounted rate to the service.

Couples Portal Too

HowAboutWe.com isn’t just for singles. It also has a couples portal.

It’s similar to the singles site in that its purpose is to help couples enjoy exciting adventures together.

But chances are you’re single and you’re looking for dates.

And you probably want to know how to attract a man – a great guy – with whom you can have a wonderful relationship.

How To Attract Men

With HowAboutWe.com you contact men on the site and then you move to the offline world and go on dates.

But perhaps you want to meet guys offline because you’re not into the online dating scene.

If you want to meet great guys offline then be sure to check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

It’s specifically designed for women who want to meet guys in the real world instead of the virtual, online dating world.

It shows you where the great guys hang out. And it shows you how to attract them and catch them.

Best of all it shows you how to decide whether you’ve chosen your Mr. Right.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

 

 

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , ,

How to Find the Best Online Dating Service

October 26, 2013 by

holdinghandssunsetWith so many dating sites available from which to choose it can be overwhelming when you want to know how to find the best online dating service. In fact, you might have difficulty deciding which dating service or site to use.

It’s just not a matter of which site to choose but also the features each site offers and whether they will help you in your search for a guy.

Top of your list should be whether your privacy is protected, what search methods are available, and how easy it is to contact someone.

As well, pricing should be a consideration – you don’t want to pay for services you don’t use and you don’t want to spend more than necessary since you won’t use the dating service once you’ve found a guy you’re interested in.

Plus, you don’t know how long it will take to find a great guy. Sometimes you’ll be lucky and find one almost immediately. Other times it could take weeks or even months before you find someone you’re interested in.

Here are some features to check out when considering an online dating service:

Quick and Easy Registration

Most dating sites offer free registration.

Some will allow you to communicate with other members for free – these are the true “free dating sites.”

Plenty of Fish is one free dating site that allows free contact between members.

Some sites restrict your access until you fill out questionnaires or post photos. At the time of this writing, two sites that require you to fill out a questionnaire include eHarmony and PerfectMatch.

Chemistry.com and Plenty of Fish have a questionnaire that also helps with matching but is optional to fill out.

HowAboutWe.com has a different approach to online dating. Like many other dating sites it has upgrades that allow you to read all of your messages and send unlimited messages. But its search feature is geared towards the type of date you want rather than finding a particular type of person. (It targets an important matching component – having shared interests.) Plus it also has features for couples, not just singles.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

Do Research Before Signing Up

There are many sites that do online dating reviews. Usually the reviews are unbiased.

But you should be aware that many of the owners of these review sites are compensated if you sign up or pay for a dating service.

A simple search will turn up hundreds – if not thousands – of sites for online dating.

But there are several large, well known sites including eHarmony, PerfectMatch, Chemistry.com, Plenty of Fish, and Match.com.

That’s not to say they are the best online dating sites. But they do generally offer a larger pool of candidates to draw upon depending on your search criteria.

There are sites for virtually all types of interests – niche dating sites for pet owners, religion, people into alternative sex, adult dating sites, and sites for short term, long term, and casual relationships including sex and intimate encounters.

Niche sites that cater to specific interests may or may not have a large pool of members depending on their popularity and the specific interest.

Be especially careful of sites that have fake profiles and scammers. Since sites don’t ordinarily screen each member, fake profiles are easy to establish since there is no verification procedure.

Profile information – including photos – is not necessarily genuine. It can be completely false and made up to lure you into a false sense of security with the intention to steal your money.

One of the easiest ways to discover fake profiles is to check the grammar. But that’s not a foolproof method and even asking pointed questions may not help discover that someone is a scam artist. Some are consummate liars who have successfully bilked women of their money.

This is not to say that you shouldn’t use online dating services. It just means you have to use common sense and maintain a healthy skepticism until you get to know the guy better.

Use The Dating Site’s Free Trial Service

There’s no better way to learn about an online dating service than to actually use it.

If it’s a completely free service you’ll have immediate access to many of its features.

Some free sites may offer a paid upgrade but for the most part they will provide the basic services including being able to message other members without charge.

Paid sites will require payment before being able to contact other members and/or read their messages. It’s important in this case to ensure that the site contains quality profiles of guys you’d be interested in meeting.

Sometimes guys will post their profiles on both paid and free sites hoping to attract a larger number of women so you may be able to contact them on a free site if you happen to come across their profile.

Contact Options

A quality dating service will offer several messaging options including email, instant messaging, and chat.

While it’s not necessary to have a lot of messaging options, it is helpful if you’re not getting much success from one particular option alone. For example, you may not be getting much response from emailing guys but you might find better response when chatting.

Online Dating Profiles

Reading online dating profiles can be a lot of fun and even entertaining when you read some of the essays prospective boyfriends post.

But first you have to do a search that will narrow down the field. Use the online dating site’s matching criteria to begin with. Sometimes you can narrow down the search even more depending on the sophistication of the online dating site.

Most sites have at the very least geographic and age range searches – both of which are vital to your search since you’re looking for a guy who is within a certain age range and usually pretty close to where you live.

It’s best to cast a wide net to begin with and then narrow down your choices. If you’re younger you’ll probably find a pretty large pool of guys to choose from ranging in all ages.

Once you’ve narrowed your boyfriend candidates it’s time to check out the profiles. First you’ll probably skim the photos to see if anything catches your eye. Then you’ll click on specific profiles to look at personal interests and the profile essay to see what brilliant things the guy has to say to entice you to contact him – which for most online dating sites is through anonymous email.

Most sites will indicate specific areas on the profile for religion, whether he wants kids, hair color, and other personal particulars. Some will also indicate a personality type – for example whether he’s a night owl or morning person or a book worm or adventurer or supporter.

Be on the lookout for craftily disguised wording with double meanings:

“Loves his work” could mean he’s either a workaholic or has a controlling personality.

A “sensitive” guy could mean he’s a sissy or is actually sensitive.

A guy with a “sense of humor” could mean he’s a bore or he thinks he’s funny, even if he’s not.

“Looking for a best friend” could mean he really is or maybe he’s looking for a sex kitten who is into intimate encounters or a friend with benefits arrangement.

But please don’t prejudge or jump to conclusions – which could be wrong. It’s only by meeting and getting to know the guy that you will know for sure whether you like his personality and whether you’re compatible.

If you prejudge a guy before getting to know him – which many women do – you could be passing on a quality guy who would make a wonderful boyfriend or husband.

And just because he says he has particular interests that don’t align with yours doesn’t mean you’re not compatible.

You don’t have to answer questions that you think invade your privacy. Income questions are really no-one’s business but your own.

The weight questions are always tricky – you don’t want to put a great guy off but at the same time you want to be truthful. After all, there’s no point in saying you’re athletic when in fact you have a few extra pounds or you’re rubenesque. It’s usually best to be truthful in the weight category since he’s going to find out what your build is if you meet or if you post a full body photo.

One of the usual questions is whether to include a photo or not. Some sites indicate that your success in getting responses will increase by up to 10 times if you include a photo. If you’re a very attractive woman you’ll find you’ll get a lot of responses simply because guys like your photo, not because they’ve read your profile.

Obviously, people with a photo are more likely to get a response if the photo is flattering and you’re attractive. If you’re reluctant to post a photo for privacy reasons then indicate you’ll send one to those who you think you’re compatible with.

Keep in mind that if you don’t display a photo some sites will limit their functionality until you do. As well, the issue will come up once you start corresponding with guys because a photo is one of the first things they ask for.

Take a good photo with your digital camera or smartphone. Each dating site has instructions on the file format and size and how to upload photos to your profile. Unless it’s an adult oriented dating site there usually are conditions about what photos are acceptable.

Be sure to crop photos with other people in them – especially if you’re hanging off the arm of a man (even if he’s your son). Where you don’t crop photos with men in them, be sure to explain who the man is – your son, your brother-in-law, your brother, your father.

Show photos with head and full body shots as well as those that show you in your favorite activities to give the reader a sense of who you are and what you enjoy doing. Photos don’t have to be professionally done studio shots but avoid uploading blurry photos or photos where you have sunglasses on or those where you’re so far away no-one can see what you really look like.

How successful you are on an online dating service depends on several factors including quality of profile, size of membership, messaging options, how diligent you are in combing through profiles, and how proactive you are in contacting guys who interest you.

Are You Looking For Your Mr. Right?

Are you tired of being single? Are you looking for the man of your dreams?

If you’ve been searching for a great guy but you seem to always wind up with losers…

If you’re newly single and ready for love again…

If you’re divorced or widowed and you want to find a great guy…

Then check out the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

It will show you how to find, attract, catch, and keep a wonderful man.

And, just as importantly, it will help you decide whether he’s the man of your dreams.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

 

 

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , , ,

Best Online Dating Services

October 24, 2013 by

coupleholdinghandsOnline Dating Sites have become increasingly popular over the past decade or more.

And rightly so.

There are literally hundreds of Online Dating Sites that cater to the busy woman who wants to meet a great guy but who hasn’t got the time or inclination to go out to meet him.

There are several online dating sites that have very large memberships including PerfectMatch, Plenty of Fish, and eHarmony. The advantage of these types of services is wider choice of eligible men to date and have a relationship with.

Here’s a brief overview of popular questions many women ask about online dating services and dating online.

What Is The Advantage Of Online Dating Sites?

Online dating sites are an excellent way to meet men who you would normally not meet otherwise.

Many women don’t have the time to go to bars or clubs. Others don’t want to spend the money involved with offline dating – at least initially.

And others find it intimidating to approach men before getting to know them a little better – which you can do with a dating site.

Instead, they find online dating sites to be a quick and easy way to make contact with others who have diverse or similar interests.

Most dating sites make it very easy to get started. Some, however, are more involved initially since you have to answer detailed questionnaires in order to get matches that suit your personality or criteria.

How Much Success Can I Anticipate From Dating Services?

Simply put, dating sites DO work for many women as well as men.

Millions of people visit both free and paid dating sites each day to make contact and to hookup for dates and fun activities and intimate encounters.

Most sites even provide success stories of couples who have met and gotten married. POF (Plenty of Fish) is a free dating site that includes success stories.

The key to success with a dating site is patience and being proactive. Which means you have to contact men and search profiles – almost on a daily basis. In addition, it helps your chances if you have a well written profile and attractive photo.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How Safe Are Dating Sites?

While online dating sites are generally safe, it’s still wise to follow a few guidelines to ensure your personal safety when meeting someone.

Be aware that sites don’t usually do background checks so it’s your responsibility to protect yourself from unsavory men.

Reputable sites provide a safe environment for anonymity. Your contact details and personal information are safe and with some sites you can message back and forth without revealing your email address or personal details until you’re ready to do so. As well, many sites have an option to “block” other users if they are rude or harass you. You can also report these site abusers to the site’s administrators.

Some online dating sites safety rules include: Meet in a public place. Make sure someone is aware of your date and where you will be. Never take a stranger back to your home or have him meet you at your home. And never accept an offer to be driven anywhere unless you know the person.

Most sites have detailed lists of safety rules for their members.

What Are Some of The Best Online Dating Sites?

Everyone has their own opinion on the best online dating sites. Usually they will recommend a site if they have had success.

It also depends on whether you’re looking for a free or paid site.

One of the most popular free dating sites is POF (Plenty of Fish). It offers concise profiles as well as the ability to contact men for free.

Some paid sites also allow women to contact men for free. Many, though, will allow you to post a free profile but charge for communicating with other members.

Popular paid dating sites include eHarmony, Chemistry.com, and Perfect Match.

Your best strategy is to sign up for a few sites to see what response you’re getting. Most paid dating sites will allow you to post a free profile although you usually won’t be able to contact other members unless you pay.

There are also dating sites for specific niches including pets, sports and fitness, religion, and activities.

Are Paid Sites Better Than Free Online Dating Sites?

Again, this is a matter of personal experience. There’s no guarantee that a paid site will be any better than a free site for contacting someone and making a connection or getting into a relationship.

Some free sites – particularly niche dating sites – will have a smaller number of members which makes it harder to find your True Love.

Sometimes free sites won’t have as many features as a paid site but generally if they provide a way to contact someone for free it’s worth giving a free site a try.

Some people post their profiles on both paid and free sites for better exposure.

Generally people gravitate to sites with high membership since it gives them more options and opportunity to meet someone to have a relationship with.

You should be aware that some sites have been accused of “beefing up” their membership numbers with fake profiles. And some members have more than one profile which can also distort the membership figures. Also be on the lookout for members who are scammers.

People who pay for a membership with an online dating site are definitely serious about finding someone for a relationship. But just because someone signs up for a free site doesn’t mean they’re not serious about wanting to be in a relationship.

Also be aware that some sites will email you to say that someone is interested in you or has contacted you. But in order to read the email you have to have a paid subscription. Sometimes this is a legitimate inquiry from someone who is genuinely interested in knowing more about you. And sometimes it’s a scammer who is trying to fleece you of your money.

How Do I Use An Online Dating Site To My Best Advantage?

First, create a good profile – one that is interesting and invites guys to contact you.

Include an attractive photo – or several photos.

Don’t wait for guys to contact you – even though it’s likely you’ll get a number of enquiries. Instead, do your own searches and look for guys who might interest you.

If you’re on a paid site you may have to upgrade to contact guys and initiate a conversation. Also be aware that just because you contact someone doesn’t mean you’ll get a reply.

That’s why it’s a good idea to sign up on several sites and to also pick sites with large memberships.

What Types of Online Dating Sites Are There Out There?

The internet is filled with sites that cater to all types of people who have different interests and tastes.

There are dating sites for those of the Jewish faith, sites for Single Parents, Christian dating sites, and sites that cater to scuba diving, pets, and other interests. There are also sites for those who are Big Beautiful Women and large men.

I’m Seeking A Casual Relationship Leading To A Serious Relationship. Which Dating Sites Are Good Choices?

In no particular order, you could try PerfectMatch, eHarmony, and PlentyofFish.

If you’re looking for “hookups” and one night stands or you want to make friends with someone so you have a FWB (Friend With Benefits) relationship then AdultFriendFinder.com or Passion.com are two sites to consider.

What Should I Say In My Dating Profile?

Your dating profile is an opportunity to put yourself in front of hundreds of potential men – and dates.

Hopefully it will lead to finding the man of your dreams.

It’s your task to sift through responses and profiles of eligible men before deciding to meet them for a date.

Make your profile interesting. There’s no need to give a lot of details – just enough to arouse curiosity and invite a guy to correspond with you.

A shorter profile is usually better than a long profile simply because men are scanning your profile looking to see if there are things you both have in common.

Say something about your interests and also indicate what type of guy you’re looking for. Some profiles also indicate that they won’t respond unless the guy has an update photo. Still others say they won’t respond if they don’t think there is a match – usually because they don’t find the guy attractive or because there aren’t a lot of similar interests.

Avoid saying anything about past relationships or that you’ve kissed a lot of frogs or dated a lot of losers. It puts you in a bad light and makes you look bitter.

Also avoid inviting guys to ask you anything. Instead fill out your profile as much as you can. And avoid saying that you’re just looking – it makes you look insincere in your search and many guys will think you’re a trifler or tire kicker instead of having serious dating potential.

Should I Include A Photo On My Online Dating Profile?

This is a common question that most people ask especially with online dating.

A photo will, in many cases, increase your chances of getting replies. However, sometimes it can work against you if you’re not photogenic.

It’s a good idea to add at least a couple of good photos so a guy can get a sense of who you are. Studio shots are not required – in fact they can look rather uninviting. And don’t consider using other photos like passport photos or driver’s license photos.

Head shots and full body shots are the best. If you’re interested in attracting a guy who likes boating, for example, show a shot of yourself on a sailboat or kayak or fishing boat.

Bikini, bathing suit, and beach shots can be particularly attractive to guys especially if you like to travel to warm climates and you’re looking for a guy who also likes to travel.

From your own experience you know that you’re more likely to read a profile that has a photo instead of one that doesn’t.

If you’re a very attractive woman who doesn’t want to be inundated with emails from every guy on the planet – or you value your privacy – you can indicate you’ll provide a photo only to those men you think you could have a connection with.

How Long Should I Correspond With A Guy Before Meeting Him?

This depends entirely on the connection you have with the guy and how interested you both are in meeting.

A normal progression is to correspond and then talk on the phone although there is no set rule to this.

Many times it’s better to meet in person relatively quickly since you might be falling in love with the concept of being in a loving relationship rather than being in love with the guy himself – which is impossible since you haven’t met him in person.

How Can I Weed Out The Losers and The Scammers?

No matter what you put in your profile you’ll always get people who aren’t suitable for you. Some simply wouldn’t be a match. Others are scammers trying to get your money.

Having said that, it’s always a good idea to say what type of guy you’re looking for and what interests you have that should be shared by him.

Scammers are usually easy to spot – their grammar isn’t very good, their spelling isn’t always very good, and they don’t answer your questions (or they avoid giving you a complete answer.) While poor spelling doesn’t automatically disqualify a guy, be wary of someone with poor spelling or grammar – they are red flags.

How Can I Attract A Man?

If you’re tired of being single and you’re ready for love, then the Girl Gets Great Guy System can help you.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is about finding the right guy for you.

It applies to both online dating and to offline dating – although it shows in detail how you can get a guy offline.

But many of the techniques and principles can be used whether you find a guy online or offline.

As well, it’s not just about finding a guy. It’s about having a relationship with a guy and deciding whether he’s the right man for you and whether you’d like to eventually marry him.

Click the following link to find out more about the Girl Gets Great Guy System

How To Get A Boyfriend

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , , ,

Online Dating: Internet Dating Scams

October 10, 2013 by

loverssunInternet dating scams are not a myth. And they don’t necessarily happen to other women. They could just as easily happen to you.

The online dating world has its fair share of con artists who prey upon the innocent, gullible, and unwary.

So it shouldn’t come as any surprise to you that scammers will try and trick you to “part” you from your money.

It’s easy to be tricked if you’re not vigilant or if you’re unaware of these dating scams.

Immediate red flags for internet dating scams include:

1. Poor or unusual grammar.

2. A request for your email address or Skype or home phone number even though he just “met” you online and you don’t know anything about him.

3. Inability to or taking too long to answer simple questions about themselves.

4. Evasive answers that don’t tell you anything.

5. Facebook friend requests from strangers.

Here are three internet dating scams or “Romance Scams” to be on the look out for:

1. The “Cam” Romance Scam

He’s hot. He’s handsome. He’s enticing. And he’s looking for someone just like you.

At least that’s what he says in his dating profile.

In reality, you could be his next victim. Because he’s not looking for a relationship, he’s looking to separate you from some of your hard earned money.

Here’s how the cam scam works…

He initiates contact with you or he responds to your email.

You’re flattered with the attention – especially since he’s so handsome.

He’s so charming you’re dazzled.

Of course, you’re falling in love with him.

And eventually – when you’ve shared lots of personal details – he asks you to turn on your cam and let him see you.

Since you’re “in love” with him you want to share some intimate time with him – even though it can’t be in person.

First he asks you to wave to him.

Then he asks you to blow him a kiss.

Then he asks you to be flirty and tantalize him.

Before you know it, and feeling quite adventurous, you start taking off your clothes to show the love of your life what you look like naked.

Little do you know, he’s filming all of this and then making photos of you naked.

And naturally, when he asks to be your friend on Facebook you readily agree.

After all, you want to show all of your friends your “new guy.”

Next thing you know he’s threatening to use your cam shots and show them to other people – even your friends and family on Facebook – because by this time you’ve shared a lot of information with him.

He might even know where you work.

It could be embarrassing to say the least, or even worse, lead to your dismissal at work if your employer saw your video/photos.

Of course, he says that if you pay him money you’ll be safe and he won’t distribute the video or photos.

In a word: it’s blackmail.

So, if you’re looking for a wonderful man to have a relationship with…then this is one “hot number” you’ll definitely want to cross off your list.

Internet Dating Scams – Tip #1: Camming can be dangerous to your reputation and even your job.

You can be the victim of blackmail or even identity theft.

Avoid at all costs strangers asking you to go on cam and taking your clothes off. (If your grandmother wouldn’t approve, you know it’s wrong.)

2. “Send Me Money” Romance Scam

Every day, unsuspecting women are conned into sending money to strangers they “met” and “fell in love with” online through a dating web site.

They’ve never met these strangers and they never will.

Because these men pose as someone else and are con artists.

They’re inventive with their stories. They post phony pictures. And they go by several names.

They could be from Nigeria…Africa…England…France…or any other country in the world.

They could even be from your own state or province.

Their tale of woe goes something like this…

“My mother needs urgent surgery…”

“My child is sick and needs an urgent operation or medical attention…”

“I’m in hospital and I need money…”

“I’ve been stranded overseas and I don’t have enough money to get home…”

“I don’t have enough money for a passport…”

“I want to come and visit you because I’m so in love with you but I can’t afford the plane ticket…”

“I desperately need your help…”

It doesn’t matter how urgent the plea…how pitiful or heartbreaking the story…how convincing the promises…or how sincere their expressions of love seem…if you get a request for money from someone you’ve “met” online or through an online dating web site, it’s time to walk away immediately and block that person from contacting you again.

No matter how you rationalize it…you’re being set up to be a victim of fraud.

Remember…the photos they send aren’t theirs. Their stories aren’t true. The promises they make are false.

And they’re pros at what they do. That’s why they do it – because they’ve been successful in fleecing lonely, desperate, trusting, innocent women of their money with false stories and promises.

They’re not in love with you…and never will be. They are not your “soul mate” no matter how much they sound like it. There is no “connection” or “chemistry.” They are simply telling you what you want to hear. And your situation is no different from that of any of their other victims.

These people are not a part of your life – they are a part of your imagination. There’s no reason to feel guilty that you can’t help them. They are simply preying on your emotions. They’re appealing to your kind nature. And their only goal is to bilk you of your money.

So step away from the fantasy world that they have created, come back to your senses, and rejoin the real world. All they want is your money. And the moment you send them money they’ll ask for more. And when you’re unable to send more they’ll disappear into thin air.

Your situation is no different from the hundreds of other stories from people who have been victimized. So don’t be the next victim.

One final thought and reality check: If they need money that desperately, they’re not the type of person you’re looking for anyway.

Internet Dating Scams – Tip #2: If they ask for money, walk away from them immediately and discontinue all communication with them. No second chances. No making excuses. No rationalizing your actions. No, “But my situation is different.” No, “But I’m in love with him.”

3. “I’ll Send You My Check” Romance Scam

If you thought being conned out of your money was bad enough, this scam could very well land you in jail!

Your online “sweetheart” is so busy he can’t get to the bank to deposit his pay checks. But he trusts you because he “loves” you.

He wants to arrange to send you “his” checks (or money orders) to you so you can cash them for him.

All you have to do is send him his money.

Sounds simple enough, right? No harm in helping out your “sweetheart,” right?

Wrong!

It turns out those “pay checks” or “money orders” (or any other type of “check”) are phony. And if you negotiate them you’ll have committed a criminal offense and be charged with a crime.

And guess what?

Your “sweetheart” won’t be around to help you. He’ll just move onto the next victim.

And you’ll be left with a criminal record and a ruined life.

Internet Dating Scams – Tip #3: Don’t cash a stranger’s check. If he’s too busy to get his own money then there’s something wrong and he should be avoided at all costs.

Meeting someone from an online dating web site can be a wonderful and rewarding experience that leads to finding your true love.

But online dating has its own particular hazards that you should be aware of.

As with any dealings with strangers – especially on the internet – use common sense…take a few simple precautions…check things out…and listen to your intuition and instincts. Don’t let your heart and imagination override your common sense.

If you do come across any of these online dating scammers, block their profile immediately, report them to the online dating service, and consider blocking international profiles since they are probably of no interest to you anyway.

By being aware of these internet dating scams you’ll be much more likely to enjoy your online dating experience instead of being the next online dating romance scam victim.

How To Attract Men

The Girl Gets Great Guy System isn’t about online dating. You’ll find more than enough information on this site to help you with online dating.

Instead, the Girl Gets Great Guy System does show you how to find a guy offline.

Whether you find a guy online or offline, the Girl Gets Great Guy System can help you find your Mr. Right.

There are LOTS of great guys just waiting to meet you. But you have to know where they hang out, how to attract them, and how to seduce them.

You’ll find out how to do those things – and a lot more – in the Girl Gets Great Guy System.

Click the following link for more information about the Girl Gets Great Guy System and how it can help you find the guy of your dreams.

IMAGE CREDIT: Lovers Dawn by SailorJohn at http://www.sxc.hu/browse.phtml?f=view&id=737156

Filed Under: Online Dating Tagged With: , ,

Relationship Advice For Women – Are You Too Picky When Looking For A Great Guy?

July 16, 2013 by

prettyrose“Some women are so picky when looking for a guy that they miss out on a great guy. It’s not about having everything you want, it’s about having what’s important to you in a relationship.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach.

No relationship advice for women would be complete without asking this question:

Do you think finding and falling in love with your Mr. Right “will happen?”

That one day Mr. Right will come along?

Just like a Cinderella story…where your Prince will magically appear and you’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.

If you are thinking that finding your Mr. Right will just “happen” without any effort on your part, then it’s probably time to change your mindset if you want to find a great guy.

Because chances are you’ll be waiting and waiting for Mr. Right…who won’t come along.

Having Mr. Right magically appear in your life is so rare you really can’t count on it happening.

Maybe you’ve been in bad relationships before and found they haven’t worked.

So you think to yourself that this time you’ll wait for the right guy to come along.

That you’ll stumble upon him at some chance meeting as you’re going about your daily routine.

I know how easy it is to give up when you haven’t had much – or any – luck in previous relationships.

Or where you’ve been badly hurt and you don’t want to be hurt again.

How To Attract Men Table of Contents
What To Avoid Doing On The First Date | Internet Dating Scams | Best Online Dating Services

How To Find A Boyfriend

If you want to succeed in finding a great guy you have to be proactive in your search for the guy of your dreams.

You can’t just wait and let things happen.

You have to seek out your Mr. Right.

I know it makes for a great romantic movie for two people to meet by chance and instantly fall in love.

That you were destined for each other and just had to find each other – as in the movie Serendipity starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale.

But the reality is it’s not what usually happens in real life.

If you think Mr. Right will magically appear on your doorstep, one day you’ll wake up and find that you’re ten years older with fewer prospects for a relationship or marriage.

So what do you do?

First, you have to take the initiative in finding a guy.

Yes, you have to meet men.

Yes, you have to try online dating.

And yes, you might have to sort through a lot of men before you find the guy who makes you tingle.

Secondly, you have to change your expectations about what you want in a guy…because that may be what is holding you back from finding a great guy.

That doesn’t mean lowering your standards.

It means that you have to be more flexible in your “checklist” of desirable qualities you want in a guy in order to widen the pool of eligible guys.

This is a concept that I’ve noticed with online dating.

Are You Being Too Selective?

Here’s the problem: You’re very likely being too selective, too restrictive, and too picky when looking for “The One.”

And that could be hurting your dating and relationship life.

> Instead of restricting your search to guys taller than 5 feet 10 inches, for example, include guys who are a little shorter.

> Instead of looking for guys who are athletic, include guys who are less active.

> Instead of looking for guys with all of your interests, look for guys who have some of your interests.

> Instead of looking for guys who are a year or two older than you are, expand the age range – it opens up more prospects for you to consider. (Older men are sometimes better prospects for a relationship because they’re more established in their careers and are looking for a stable, long term relationship.)

Be open to more possibilities.

Here’s what a typical woman does, especially if she’s using online dating to find a guy…

She reads a guy’s profile on an online dating site.

And what does she find?

How about…

> The spelling isn’t quite right on a couple of words. (A big turnoff for most women. And guys, too.)

> Or the photo isn’t very flattering. (Another turnoff – for both men and women – if it’s not a good photo.)

> He’s not into the arts and she is.

> He doesn’t make a lot of money.

> He’s not into sports and she is.

> He’s not her intellectual equal because he doesn’t have a Ph.D. or at least a university education.

As she’s reading the guy’s profile she’s mentally checking off the things she doesn’t like about him.

She’s so focused looking for the qualities she wants in a man that she overlooks his good qualities.

And those good qualities could be that he’s a loving man who will make her feel cherished and valued as a woman.

He might even be a fantastic lover!

(On the other hand, she may be so focused on his photo (because he’s so good looking) that she doesn’t read his profile and doesn’t take note of his bad qualities or flaws. Her single qualification is how handsome he looks.)

Are You Prejudging Him?

But she will never find out because she’s already rejected him without even contacting him and finding out more about him.

Instead, in many cases, she’s focusing on the negatives.

You see, many times she won’t be able to find those good qualities just from reading an online dating profile.

She’s definitely found the negative things about him – or what she thinks are negative qualities.

But chances are she didn’t find many or all of his positive qualities.

She has prejudged and excluded the guy before she even gets to know him.

I see it often enough on online dating sites – a woman writes in her profile, “If I don’t respond it’s because I don’t think we’d be a good match.”

Obviously there will be guys who are not a good match right from the start.

It could be because of distance.

It could be because of his habits like smoking or alcohol or drugs.

It could be that she has so many emails from guys that she has to save time by eliminating those guys that she “thinks” aren’t suitable for her.

But how does she know she won’t be a good match with many of the men who contact her or whose profile she reads?

She hasn’t even taken the time to get to know the guy!

She’s prejudged him based on his profile.

She’s prejudged him because he wrote to her and all he said, “Hi.” (Not the greatest way to woo a woman, but let’s be realistic, some guys just aren’t that good at doing this sort of thing.)

She’s crossed him off her list without finding out more about him.

At the very least she could email him to see if there are common interests, beliefs, and values.

This isn’t about sounding harsh or being scolding because of what women do, because it isn’t.

What she’s doing is perfectly normal and understandable.

Both men and women do it all the time. Not just with online dating but also when they’re out a clubs or at parties.

She doesn’t want to waste her time with someone she doesn’t feel she’ll have a connection with.

That’s how most of us are programmed – we look for similarities and differences and while we’re reading an online dating profile we weigh and judge the person so that we can arrive at a decision about whether or not to contact them or meet them.

This can be an intense battle in your head, too, as you think to yourself what you like and don’t like about the guy’s profile.

Maybe it’s the photo.

Maybe it’s what he says in his profile.

Or maybe what he doesn’t say in his profile. (Let’s face it, many men really aren’t very good at writing online dating profiles.)

But what if that guy who is a little shorter than you like, or who doesn’t know how to spell a word or two, or who has some bizarre interest in ancient pottery, is exactly what you’ve been looking for?

What if he’s an adventurous type who can keep you fascinated with stories of his travels.

Or what if he’s a geek who’s a whiz with numbers but isn’t perfect with the King’s English…but has a lifestyle you’ve always dreamed about.

My point is that you could be skipping over good men because of how you’re “vetting” them based on their profiles alone.

Many women say there are no good men out there.

That all of the good ones are taken.

That they’ve given up hope of finding a great guy.

The truth is, there are tons of great guys out there.

Your mission is to find the one who is right for you.

How To Find A Great Guy

The challenge (and, I’ll admit, it’s a very real challenge) is to resist prejudging a guy before you get to know him.

It happens all the time and it could be hurting your chances to find a great guy.

When you’re in your 20’s it doesn’t matter as much because there’s a large pool of available guys to draw upon.

But as you get into your 30’s and 40’s – and beyond – that pool gets smaller.

The reality is that the pool of available guys shrinks more and more as you mature. The pickier you are, the less chance you have of finding the guy who is right for you.

And here’s something else…

We’d all like to think love hits like a bolt of lightening when we meet someone new.

But it doesn’t.

Love takes time to develop.

If there’s no spark and no chemistry at first then most women will move on to the next guy. (And that reaction isn’t exclusive to women because guys do the same thing.)

They feel there’s nothing there – no chance of a relationship – simply because they didn’t feel the spark.

Trouble is, they could be missing out on a terrific man.

Someone who will appreciate them and love them and care for them and have their back.

Funny thing is that you can’t tell whether a guy has those qualities you’re looking for without getting to know him.

You can’t tell from his emails.

You can’t tell from his phone calls.

You can’t tell from his text messages.

You can’t tell in a first meeting.

You can’t even tell from the first few dates!

You can’t tell what his good (and bad) qualities are without spending time with him and seeing how he interacts with you and how he treats you over time.

Spend time finding out how you feel when you’re with him.

He might be…

> The guy who looks after you when you’re sick.

> The guy who stands up for you and helps you out when you’re stressed at work.

> The guy who pitches in and cooks dinner when you come home late from work instead of sitting around watching TV or playing video games and asks what’s for dinner the moment you come through the door.

Hopefully he’s not…

x The guy who cheats on you.

x The guy who sponges off you and lets you pay all the bills.

x The guy who tries to control your life and treats you badly.

You won’t know what he’s like until you get to know him.

And that means spending time with him.

There are just as many stories about women who didn’t even like their boyfriends or husbands at first but later fell in love with them…as there are stories about falling in love with them shortly after they met them.

Sometimes the chemistry is there right from the beginning.

Other times – and more often – it takes time for the chemistry to develop as you get to know each other.

As you get to see each other’s qualities.

Next time you’re hanging around with your girlfriends and lamenting that there are no good guys, stop and think why you can’t find them – because they’re waiting to meet you if you give them the chance.

And, the next time you’re looking for a relationship and checking out guys, start including guys you wouldn’t normally date.

Add them to your “maybe” list.

Instead of recoiling with horror at the very suggestion of having to change your criteria, be open to the idea of expanding your list of possibilities.

Keep an open mind.

You might just find a hidden gem who turns out to be the guy of your dreams.

How To Attract And Meet Men

Blaine Barrington is a Dating and Relationship coach who helps single women find their Mr. Right. He’s the author of the Girl Gets Great Guy System – The System That Cracks The “Guy Code” And Helps You Find The Man Of Your Dreams.

The Girl Gets Great Guy System is for the woman who has experienced any of the following:

– Is longing for a loving relationship
– Has had her heart broken too many times
– Intimidates men without meaning to
– Always seems to pick losers and deadbeats
– Wants to have more dates with quality men

 

GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice to women and shows them how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank Carlos Koblischek for the beautiful photo used in this article. Image credit: Rose (c) Carlos Koblischek Image #1421435 freeimages.com Photo by carloszk on Freeimages.com

Filed Under: Dating Advice For Women Tagged With: ,
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