“Be proactive. Get out there and meet men. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a spectator or participator. The important thing is to meet guys. You just have to make sure they’re quality guys. Meeting quality men is one of the most effective ways to find your Mr. Right.” Blaine Barrington, Dating and Relationship Coach
Many women approach dating and relationships with a single goal – to find a good man as soon as possible. And that’s perfectly understandable.
After all, being involved in a relationship with a guy is what you want when you make the decision to look for a good man.
But it can put guys off if you come on too strong. They sense something isn’t quite right. They might even think you’re desperate. So you have to be more subtle in the way you approach it.
Instead of approaching having a relationship as your goal, I’d suggest changing your focus to this…
Meeting a guy is all about getting to know him as a friend.
So you approach guys as someone you’d like to get to know as a friend…at least at first.
(But, for goodness sake, don’t say to a guy – especially with online dating – that you want to be friends first. It’s a huge turnoff for guys.)
This doesn’t mean you put him in the Friend Zone.
It means you start out by thinking of him as a friend and getting to know him.
Because, ultimately, if you do get into a relationship, the friendship you have is just as important as the sex.
Probably more so because the sex can diminish over time but a true friendship will last and endure through good and bad times.
This casual approach can lead to dating and, if it’s the right guy, a relationship…and even marriage.
Keep in mind that the men you meet might not be what you’re looking for. But some of those men might introduce you to The One because they may be friends with The One or related to him.
I realize that you lead a busy life with work and family and life and that online dating has its advantages – it’s convenient, you don’t have to dress up, and you can stay anonymous.
But there’s nothing like getting out and meeting guys and seeing them in their element. You’ll see them do things they are passionate about.
You’ll have an opportunity to talk to them and ask them questions and get to know them.
Not all of these places that I suggest will be available to you. And you don’t have to be involved in every one of the activities either.
The point is to be aware of the possibilities available and I want to motivate you to take action to meet great guys. The more guys you meet the better your chances of meeting the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Many of these events you’ll have to attend by yourself. With some of them you might want to take a wing woman with you, but it’s more difficult for guys to approach you if you’re with someone else.
And keep this in mind: Those activities or classes that involve instruction are some of the best places to get to know guys because guys love to show how much they know about a certain topic.
Here is a short list of places to meet single men:
1. Luxury car dealership parties – Talk to guys who go to these events even if they’re married. Married men have sons or friends who might be single and available.
2. Join or watch a co-ed softball, volleyball, or bowling league
3. Take a kayaking, (motor) boating, or sailing class
4. Realtor parties – These aren’t open houses. These are parties where realtors press the flesh and pitch prospective buyers. Talk to guys who go to these even if they’re married
5. Take a hunting, archery, or an automotive repair class. You might not know a thing about these topics but you’ll find guys willing to share their knowledge.
6. Golf – Take lessons, visit golf stores, attend golf tournaments and chat with guys whether single or not (the married ones might have a cute son or they might have single friends)
7. Home improvement stores – Home Depot and Lowes are two of the biggest stores for home improvements. Walk around the aisles especially the tools, plumbing, and lumber sections of the stores. Tradesmen are usually at these stores early in the morning. Do-it-yourselfers usually shop on the weekends.
8. Sporting goods stores – REI, L.L. Bean, and Mountain Equipment Co-op are a few of the big names in sporting goods in the U.S. and Canada. But there are many more specialty stores as well. Hang out where men are likely to be, especially the fishing, hunting, baseball, cycling, and camping sections
9. Investment, real estate, and business seminars – Sit next to or strike up a conversation with (single) guys
10. Attend local sporting events – especially baseball, soccer, hockey, and basketball
11. Go to the dog park – If you don’t have a dog, volunteer to take a friend’s dog to the park (or go with your friend) so you can meet (male) dog lovers
12. Visit computer and electronic stores or join a computer club and ask guys for their suggestions and recommendations about computers, hard drives, thumb drives, laptops, notebooks, cell phones, TVs, stereos, and other electronic equipment. This is geek and nerd territory but you’ll find nice guys who will be happy to help you.
13. Join a wine tasting club or attend an open house if they have one. Remember: This is to meet guys, not get drunk or get a DUI. So be sure to keep your drinking to a minimum. If in doubt, get a taxi or have a friend drive you home.
14. Join a political group or be a volunteer – You’ll meet enthusiastic men who share similar political views that you do
15. Attend Chamber of Commerce or business networking events and network with business owners. Attend their silent auctions and get involved in projects or be on committees.
16. Volunteer in your community to meet men who want to serve their community or contribute money to worthy causes. These can include charitable organizations, fund raisers for national campaigns, or local charities.
17. Join a skiing or snowboarding club. Dress the part in an attention-getting outfit.
18. Join a backpacking, travel, or camping group or club. This is a great opportunity to ask questions about equipment and places to travel to.
This list is just the beginning…
In the Girl Gets Great Guy System I show you many more places where you can find quality men who are looking for a wonderful woman like you.
GirlGetsGreatGuy.com – the site that gives dating advice for women and shows women how to find their Mr. Right – wishes to thank John Nyberg for the image in this article. Image credit: Couple kissing in sunset (c) by Johnny Nyberg. Photo by johnnyberg on Freeimages.com
