Boyfriend’s Low Libido Is Killing Our Relationship – Reasons For Low Sex Drive In Men

Home different sex drives

Many women are concerned that their boyfriend’s or husband’s low libido is hurting their relationship.

In this article we’ll explore some of the reasons why a man’s sex drive is or could be low.

I understand how heart breaking – even devastating – the effect of a man’s low sex drive is on your relationship.

You love your man.

He loves you.

So it’s only natural that you want to bond with him and be close to him.

Sex and intimacy have a special part in your relationship where you can connect and be close.

But, sometimes, the sex fizzles out.

And it leaves you concerned.

First, you get frustrated because there’s not enough sex to satisfy you.

After all, you love your man and you want to be close and intimate with him.

Then, as time goes on and you don’t have sex, you feel rejected, unwanted, and unattractive.

It’s totally understandable to feel that way when he’s not touching you or kissing you or being affectionate or showing he desires you or lusts after you.

You might begin to feel resentful because you have to initiate sex if you want to be intimate.

You might start being distant from him.

You might get into arguments with him about it.

You might start feeling like you’re nagging him to have sex.

He might say he’s too tired or that he’s not in the mood.

Sometimes, when you want to discuss the issue, it ends up with him saying, “I don’t want to talk about it” which doesn’t help solve the problem at all.

Ultimately, the lack of sex starts to concern you.

You wonder whether this is what your relationship is destined to be like.

It’s not just a matter of knowing the reasons why your man is no longer sexually interested.

It’s whether the problem can be fixed or whether you’re doomed to having a sexless relationship or marriage or a dead bedroom.

The First Indication That His Sex Drive Is Low

Your first sign that something is wrong is when the frequency of sex starts tapering off.

Sometimes that’s normal – especially if it’s a newer relationship or you move in together or you’ve been married for a few years.

But sometimes it becomes noticeable. Where sex used to be every day or almost every day, now it’s once a week or once every two weeks.

Or it could be even longer.

Worse still, the subtle signs are there…

He’s no longer intimate.

He doesn’t want to cuddle.

He doesn’t want to touch.

He doesn’t want to hug you.

He doesn’t want those long passionate kisses.

He doesn’t show any interest in you sexually.

And that not only hurts but it also affects your relationship.

15 Reasons Why Your Boyfriend or Husband Has Low Libido or Sex Drive

There are many reasons why a man may lose his desire for sex. For more reasons and the questions to ask to help you solve this issue, see How To Drive Your Man Wild In Bed.

1. He’s Too Tired

If your man works long hours and works a physically or mentally demanding job then chances are he’s exhausted by the time he gets home.

All he wants to do when he gets home is relax. That might mean watching TV. Or it might mean playing video games. The last thing on his mind, though, is having sex.

This is where you might have to help him by scheduling sex when he’s not so tired – whether it’s in the morning or on his days off.

2. He’s Stressed

These days stress is a huge problem, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic.

He might be worried he will lose his job. Or he has already lost his job.

If he’s a business owner, his business may have suffered. The pandemic has left many business owners wondering how they will survive and get their sales and profits back.

He might be worried about paying the bills and looking after you and your family.

If he’s stressed because of work then this is the time when he needs your support.

3. He Has Poor or Declining or Changing Health

Health plays an important role in sexual desire and stamina.

If your man isn’t getting enough exercise, would rather be on the couch looking at TV or playing video games, and is feeling listless then chances are he needs to get moving and doing something, whether it’s walking or going to the gym or playing a sport or doing some other physical activity.

As well, as a man ages, his testosterone levels and nitric oxide levels decrease. These lower levels affect both his desire and his “hydraulics.”

He can have his testosterone levels checked by his doctor. There are prescription medications (like Viagra®, Levitra®, and Cialis®) and natural ways to boost his nitric oxide levels. (Nitric oxide improves blood flow to your man’s sex organs and will help him maintain an erection.) (aff)

4. He’s A Workaholic

Some men are driven to succeed. They love their job so much that it comes first. And with that comes more stress and anxiety.

Trouble is, this devotion to the job and the will to succeed means your needs – especially your sexual needs – are not a priority and come second.

Sometimes discussing this with your man can result in him making changes because he’s not aware this is a problem.

Other times discussions won’t help and can lead to arguments and resentment.

5. He’s A Porn Addict

Many men are into porn to varying degrees.

Some men watch it occasionally.

Others, however, become addicted to it and can’t get enough of it.

Some even self-pleasure to it – which can have detrimental effects on their ability to have erections.

NoFap® is one site that helps with porn addiction or porn overuse.

6. He Eats Too Much Junk Food

There’s nothing wrong with eating “junk food” occasionally. After all, we all like to have a treat once in a while.

But if his diet is primarily junk food then it could be leading to health issues (and accompanying medications) that ultimately affect his sex drive and can lead to sexual dysfunction.

Small changes in his diet and the types of foods he eats can have a big impact on his overall health and well-being.

7. He’s A Smoker

Research has shown that cigarette smoking can contribute to loss of arousal and sexual dysfunction in men.

8. He’s A Heavy Drinker

Alcohol has been shown in studies to affect a man’s ability to get an erection and can lead to sexual dysfunction in men.

Sexual dysfunction can be so embarrassing that your man could lose interest in having sex for fear of being humiliated if he’s unable to perform in bed.

9. He’s Taking Libido-Busting Medications

Prescription medications and recreational drugs can have a negative effect on a man’s sex drive.

If your man is depressed or anxious or stressed or has serious health issues and he’s taking prescription medications, chances are his libido could be adversely affected.

10. He Self-Pleasures Too Much

Masturbation is perfectly healthy and normal. It can give your man immediate release of pent up sexual frustration.

Where self-pleasuring becomes a problem is when he prefers to self-pleasure rather than have sex with you.

Sometimes that’s the only way he can get relief and – for some men – the only way they can release.

Other times it’s because self-pleasuring is less involved and quicker than foreplay and making love with you.

11. He’s Interested In Another Woman

There’s always the possibility that he’s interested in someone else and is having an affair or is thinking about having an affair because he’s no longer attracted to you.

Masters and Johnson alluded to this loss of attraction and the “monotony” a man experiences when being in a relationship with the same woman.

Keep in mind that you shouldn’t automatically assume he’s interested in another woman just because his desire is waning. Being interested in another woman is simply one possibility for what is causing his loss of desire.

12. He’s Going Through Life Or Health Changes

Your man might be going through a mid-life crisis.

Or his hormones might be changing and he has lower levels of testosterone or nitric oxide.

Or he may be going through life changes – work, aged parents, financial problems – that are causing stress and anxiety or depression.

This is where he needs your support and understanding. Sometimes it’s something that can be corrected quite easily (such as seeing his doctor and getting medication that helps).

Other times it could be a drawn out process where he needs you to stand by him and help him through a rough patch.

13. He Feels The Pressure To Perform

Porn has created unrealistic expectations that your man has to be instantly hard and stay that way during lovemaking.

Usually, that’s not the reality since it’s perfectly normal for a man to “ebb and flow” from soft to hard during lovemaking.

But it does put pressure on your man to “perform” the way he thinks he should perform. And he’s embarrassed when he can’t stay hard all of the time.

Be empathetic when he does go soft. Take the pressure off him and avoid frowning or asking him if he’s no longer attracted to you or if he no longer desires you when he goes soft.

14. He’s No Longer Attracted To You

Physical attraction plays a big part in arousal for many men.

Things like hygiene, grooming, and appearance can have a powerful effect on a man’s desire.

Chances are you usually do a “pre-check” ritual before having sex – fresh breath, freshened up and groomed “down there,” or you’ve had a bath or shower. And, you might have also put on some sexy lingerie, as well.

If that’s your usual or standard ritual before sex then there may be other things that have caused a lack of attraction that he hasn’t told you about.

15. He’s Bored In Bed

If you and your boyfriend or husband have been together for a while or for years, chances are the “honeymoon” period is over and your sex life has plateaued or is on the decline.

Sometimes the sex becomes boring – the same positions, doing the same things all the time – and there’s no variety.

There’s no more excitement, no more fun, no more exploring.

That’s when you need to spice things up in the bedroom and make sex fun and exciting and an adventure again – just like it was when you met each other and were dating.

If you want to spice up your sex life and discover new ways to please your man in bed, then How To Drive Your Man Wild In Bed may be the perfect answer to bring back hot, steamy excitement in the bedroom.

 

low libido and sex drive in men

Get Dating And Relationship Advice For Women Who Are Dating In Their 30s, 40s, 50s, And Beyond. Find out why guys disappear, go silent, or won't commit and how to make him adore you.

Tired of dating losers, commitmentphobes, and players? Fed up with being ghosted, submarined, or stood up?

Confused about how to keep a man interested and what to do when a man phones a week or two after a great first date?

Girl Gets Great Guy is for the woman who wants to understand men, know what men want, and what men look for in a woman so she can find her one true love.

Get more dates with quality men, discover what makes a man commit, and create a loving and lasting relationship with the man of your dreams at Girl Gets Great Guy!